You're trapped because you're mimicking being trapped as a child with no choice or voice. You won't leave no matter how many times you leave; you'll go back. If you have freedom as a option you have no idea what you would do with it or how to navigate it. It's the prisoner who's been behind bars for 20 years and has no reference for being free.

Shame will tell you - dictate to you - that you must do everything flawlessly. If you don't, shame tells you, you're a failure. And shame like this is often tied to tremendous ridicule, judgment, criticism, micro expressions, nonverbal cues, that all say "You aren't enough." This gets etched into you then you take over, trying to satisfy shame with compensation. It will *never* work. You must get into the roots of shame and transmute that cycle.

The 5 Love Languages help people talk about how they like to give and receive affection, but it's not enough.

In this episode, I introduce Anchored in Safety™, a relationship framework that asks not how love is expressed, but love that is safe to receive. I explain why love languages focus on preference rather than nervous system security, and why gestures and behavior can’t repair betrayal, inconsistency, or attachment rupture.

We’ll walk through the Six Safety Anchors™ - Reassurance Safety, Emotional Presence Safety, Conflict and Repair Safety, Autonomy Safety, Vulnerability Protection Safety, and Support Safety - and how each creates the conditions for connection beyond the 5 Love Languages.