Episode 40: The Cost of Kindness

Content note:

One segment includes a personal story of childhood family violence. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone:

In the US call or text 988, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

We almost always hear “the cost of kindness” as a warning. This episode flips it: the real cost isn’t being kind — it’s holding kindness back.

Greg and the panel make the case with research and a lot of honest, everyday stories.

In this episode:

• Why kindness lowers stress — and lifts productivity by about 12%

• What unkindness really costs a workplace (the numbers are rough)

• How to be kind without getting walked on — boundaries and advocacy

• Kindness vs. people-pleasing — the honest difference

• Why you have to save some kindness for yourself, too

Chapters:

00:00 Why “kindness costs” is backwards

02:16 The research: cortisol, blood pressure, productivity

04:24 Is kindness a weakness at work?

05:15 Everyday kindness, the small stuff

06:10 What kindness does in the brain

07:43 Turning kindness inward

08:32 The cost of kindness at work

11:54 Getting taken advantage of + people-pleasing

24:26 Staying kind when you’re running on empty

39:40 Recap, challenge & support groups

This episode featured Greg with co-hosts Rich, Derek, Liam, and Sarah.

💜 Free weekly peer support groups: Brain Injury

(Mon 1PM ET), Chronic Pain

(Tue 12PM ET), Mental Health

(Wed 7:30PM ET). Sign up / RSVP:

https://luma.com/calendar/cal-oyT0VPlVTKCPxBw

Keep the groups free: https://buymeacoffee.com/kindnessrx

Web: https://kindnessrx.org

Newsletter: https://kindnessrx.beehiiv.com/

You wrote the plan down. You even put it on your phone. By 10 a.m. you’d started four things and finished none — and that same old voice was asking what’s wrong with you. If that’s familiar, this one’s for you.

In Episode 39, Greg and Rich have an honest, personal conversation about adult ADHD:

what it actually is, why it’s so easily missed, and what real support looks like.

ADHD isn’t the kid who can’t sit still, and it doesn’t disappear at eighteen.

It’s a difference in how the brain manages attention, impulse, and follow-through — and for many adults it’s been there all along, just unrecognized.

Both hosts share their own late-diagnosis stories and land where the show always does with hope.

What we cover:

• Why adult ADHD looks like internal restlessness and exhaustion, not hyperactivity
• Why more than half of adults with ADHD aren’t diagnosed until adulthood — and why women are so often missed
• Why “lazy” is almost always the wrong word (Rich’s duck-on-the-water metaphor)
• Treatment that actually helps — medication, therapy, lifestyle, structure, community
• The reframe: your brain isn’t working against you on purpose

Chapters:

• (00:00) Introduction & what adult ADHD really is
• (03:00) By the numbers: who’s been missed
• (04:18) Ferrari engine, bicycle brakes
• (05:24) Why “lazy” gets it wrong: the duck on the water
• (07:04) Childhood vs. adult ADHD & late diagnosis
• (11:10) Symptoms: hyperfocus and 500 browser tabs
• (14:11) Getting diagnosed as an adult
• (15:54) Is ADHD real? Treatment options
• (18:41) Rich & Greg’s stories + what’s on your heart
• (24:04) Summary, challenge & closing

This episode featured Greg Shaw and Rich.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Books:

• Driven to Distraction — Edward Hallowell & John Ratey
• ADHD 2.0 — Edward Hallowell & John Ratey
• Taking Charge of Adult ADHD — Russell Barkley

Organizations:

• CHADD (Children and Adults with ADHD)
• ADDitude Magazine

Talks:

• “Failing at Normal” — Jessica McCabe (How to ADHD)
• “Recognizing ADHD in Adults” — Dr. Heather Brannon

💜 Free weekly peer support groups:

Brain Injury (Mon 1 PM ET)

Chronic Pain (Tue 12 PM ET)

Mental Health (Wed 7:30 PM ET).

Details: https://kindnessrx.org

Keep the groups free: https://buymeacoffee.com/kindnessrx | Website: https://kindnessrx.org |

Newsletter: https://kindnessrx.beehiiv.com/

It’s late, you’re scrolling, and there’s a low hum under everything — the headlines, the economy, the things you can’t fix. You’re not upset about one thing; you’re just heavy, tired, and small. Episode 38 is about that feeling, and about finding where your power actually lives.

Greg, Rich, Derek, and Sarah define agency (the felt belief that what you do shapes what happens next), name the difference between agency and controlling everything, and talk honestly about reclaiming the small, controllable corners of a life — because the brain that can learn helplessness can also learn controllability.

In this episode:

• Why “nothing I do matters” is so common right now — and what it actually is

• The science: an internal sense of control, less depression and anxiety

• Why “control” isn’t a dirty word — a noun and a verb

• Where agency really lives: body, attention, time, relationships, the next small action

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

02:00 Defining agency & locus of control

03:30 The numbers & the science

07:00 Roundtable: staying grounded

12:23 Is “control” a dirty word?

17:58 Common questions

41:20 Free-form sharing

44:42 What’s on your heart

47:32 Closing & weekly challenge

50:04 Support groups & resources

This episode featured Greg with Rich, Derek, and Sarah.

💜 Free weekly peer support groups: Brain Injury (Mon 1PM ET), Chronic Pain (Tue 12PM ET), Mental Health (Wed 7:30PM ET).

Details: https://kindnessrx.org

Help keep the groups free: https://buymeacoffee.com/kindnessrx

Connect: kindnessrx.org · YouTube @KindnessRX · Newsletter: https://kindnessrx.beehiiv.com/

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 (US Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).