In this episode of Poetry in Layers, I share one of my most personal poems, “the sunset is beautiful isn’t it?” It explores childhood, attachment, and the experience of growing up in a home shaped by both love and fracture.

I reflect on how avoidance often becomes a survival strategy when closeness feels unsafe, and how beauty such as a sunset, music, or art can serve as a refuge when relationships carry too much weight. Drawing from my own family story, I connect the poem to attachment theory, Internal Family Systems, and the ways the nervous system adapts to conflict.

This conversation expands beyond one household. It speaks to the patterns many of us inherit, especially within families navigating systemic pressures and cultural histories. It also considers both the protection distance provides and the cost it carries, while pointing to the possibility of choosing new paths.

Through poetry, reflection, and therapeutic framing, I invite you to sit with the tension between awe and avoidance and to imagine how healing can emerge when love and safety grow together.

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Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction

00:22 - Two Things Can Be True

01:16 - Who Modeled Healthy Relationships For You?

04:20 - The Sunset Doesn’t Ask You To Hold The Galaxy Together

06:24 - The Poem: the sunset is beautiful, isn’t it?

08:38 - The Literary Breakdown

12:50 - The Clinical Breakdown

19:35 - Reflection Questions

20:51- Second Reading: the sunset is beautiful, isn’t it?

23:19 - Closing

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Carl's Publication

The Mis-Execution of a Black Son by Carl Patterson, LPC - https://amzn.to/3UyX6nP

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Book Resources

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Poetry Related Books

• Soft Science — Franny Choi
• The Carrying — Ada Limón
• Citizen: An American Lyric — Claudia Rankine
• Black Girl, Call Home — Jasmine Mans

Psychology Related Books

• All About Love — bell hooks
• Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker
• The Myth of Normal — Gabor Maté

• No Bad Parts — Richard C. Schwartz
• Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Glover Tawwab

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Carl Patterson is a licensed professional counselor, published author, public speaker, and spoken word artist. Click the link to learn more about Carl and his works - https://www.familysolutionsok.com/carl-patterson

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This podcast is published and produced by Family Solutions Media, a media program of Family Solutions Counseling. For more great content, please check out our LinkTree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok