What does it actually mean when someone says, "I just want to be heard" and why does it matter so much in mediation? In this episode, I'm joined by Gerard Rees, Senior Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner at Simple Separation, to unpack what mediators listen for, how power imbalances show up, and why superannuation is often the most underestimated asset in family property settlements.

We talk through full and frank disclosure, why you shouldn't mediate "blind," and the very real house vs super trade-offs that can shape your life not just now but in 10, 15, 30 years.

In this episode we cover:

• Why "I want to be heard" can signal a power imbalance (especially financially);

• The non-negotiables before mediation: an agreed balance sheet + values + disclosure;

• Why legal advice before mediation changes everything (confidence, clarity, reality testing);

• How the law recognises non-financial contributions (parenting + domestic work);

• Why super feels "personal" (and why people get emotionally attached to it);

• The most common house vs super trade-off and how to think it through;

• Gerard's best "pause before you agree" tip: today's needs vs future security.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.

Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.

The Divorce and Separation Hub Website

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The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook

The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin

Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.

Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.

Guest: Gerard Rees, Senior Mediator, Simple Separation

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Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.

This podcast's audio production crafted by Dan at dankingproductions.com.au.

This episode is sponsored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.

Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.

Disclaimer

I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.

If you're separated (or separating) and you keep replaying the past, rewriting conversations, and wondering "Maybe I'm the one who's wrong…" this episode is for you.

One of the most common (and most unsettling) things I see after a breakup isn't confusion about money, logistics, or parenting schedules. It's people quietly doubting their own reality. There's a name for it: self-gaslighting and it can keep you stuck long after the relationship ends.

In this short solo episode, I explain what self-gaslighting is, why separation turns up the volume, and how to rebuild trust in yourself safely and slowly.

• What self-gaslighting is (and how it differs from everyday self-doubt).

• Why divorce/separation can make your inner critic louder even if leaving was the right call.

• The "quiet, reasonable" thoughts that slowly erode self-trust.

• Two real-world examples (Sarah + Tom) and how self-gaslighting shows up differently.

• Practical ways to start coming back to your reality, your instincts, and your steadiness.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.

Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.

The Divorce and Separation Hub Website

The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram

The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook

The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin

Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.

Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.

Loved This Episode?
Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.

This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions.

This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.

Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.

Disclaimer

I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.