Welcome to The Big Smoke Variety Show Christmas Special, recorded live beneath the West End at The Phoenix Arts Club.

Tonight, we gather for an old-fashioned festive tradition: ghost stories at Christmas, games played in good company, and the sense of connection that comes from gathering together at the darkest time of the year.

We begin with Charles Dickens, and a lesser-known seasonal tale from The Pickwick Papers: The Story of the Goblins Who Stole a Sexton — a darkly comic story of Gabriel Grubb, a gravedigger who despises merriment and is forced to confront what it means to sneer at the joy of others. From there, the live show unfolds with crackers pulled, paper crowns donned, groan-worthy jokes judged, and the mysteriously hidden Christmas Pickle, promising good fortune to whoever spots it first. Music fills the room thanks to the Lewisham Creative Chorus, performing original festive material, while Sean Clark the Mudlark shares a true ghostly tale about a trade token from the Thames foreshore, and its link to the famous diarist Samuel Pepys.

After a suitably Dickensian Pub Quiz, the night darkens with one of the most unsettling Christmas ghost stories ever written: Elizabeth Gaskell’s The Old Nurse’s Story, read by Rachel Pickup — bleak, wintry, and deliciously spine-tingling. We then consult Dr Quack, whose hysterical and historically accurate medical treatments come back to haunt him. We hear some of our audience’s favourite Christmas memories, the pickle is finally revealed, and we leave the live space behind for one final reflection: a meditation on the restless spirit of one of the original pantomime dames, Dan Leno, who may never have quite left the theatre on Drury Lane.

So pour yourself something warm, listen closely, and join us beneath the glittering West End. Merry Christmas, and we’ll see you soon in The Big Smoke.

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Chapters

(00:00) Christmas Memories

(02:14) Intro

(03:30) The Story of the Goblins Who Stole a Sexton

(17:28) Christmas Crackers

(21:00) Lewisham Creative Chorus

(30:37) Sean Clark the Mudlark’s Latest Find

(42:15) Pub Quiz: The Three Spirits

(48:51) The Old Nurses Story

(1:04:21) Dr Quack

(1:14:48) Christmas Memories

(1:16:13) The Ghost of a Pantomime Dame

(1:22:16) ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’ sung by Lewisham Creative Chorus

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Credits

Hosted & Executive Produced by Kevin Bennett

Produced & Edited by Alex Graham

Assistant Produced by Adam Wright

Original theme music by Giles Terera, arranged and played by Joseph Atkins

The Old Nurses Story by Elizabeth Gaskell adapted by Cait Roddam Jones and performed by Rachel Pickup

Dr Quack written and performed by Jolyon Coy

Many thanks to our musical guests Thomas Guthrie and the Lewisham Creative Chorus with Outcry Ensemble, Vox Urbane's Vox Genesis programme, Lydia Kenny, Francesca Collyer-Powell, Jessica Anderson, Jess Mollie and Mike Veazey

Welcome to The Big Smoke Variety Show!

This week, we slip into the strange, funny and quietly revealing world of anthropomorphism — the very human habit of seeing minds, motives and meaning everywhere we look.

First, Kevin pulls up a chair with scientist and bestselling author Justin Gregg, whose book Humanish explores why we dress up our dogs, get too attached to inanimate objects, and sometimes find ourselves arguing with ChatGPT. From friendly alligators to fauxnads, Justin explains how attributing human qualities to animals, objects and AIs can make us smarter, kinder — and occasionally a little delusional.

On our Parish Noticeboard, we trade the clamour of the city for the steady rhythm of cut tile and grout at the Hackney Mosaic Project — a place where volunteers piece together hope, community and colour one tiny tile at a time. It’s a gentle reminder that creativity can be a holiday from your own head, and that some of the city’s most moving artwork has a deeper story behind it than you might think.

Then Audio Archives returns with a newly unearthed — and increasingly unhinged — festive radio commercial featuring vanished 80s icon Jay Gladrock. What begins as a simple cereal advert soon descends into chaos, ego, and nut-based wordplay. It may well be the last surviving recording of Gladrock before he disappeared from public life entirely. Listener theories are, as ever, welcome.

Finally, we round things off with a festive Victorian Parlour Game: The Minister’s Cat. Straight from Fezziwig’s Christmas gatherings, this classic game of quick wits and alphabetical adjectives is your guaranteed cure for a post-turkey slump!

So settle in as we wander from curious minds to tiny tiles, from lost legends to lively language — all here in The Big Smoke.

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Links

🧠 Justin Gregg – Website

📘 Humanish by Justin Gregg – Book

🎨 Hackney Mosaic Project – Official Site

📚 Tessa Hunkin’s Hackney Mosaic Project – Book

🍁 Maple Leaf or Make Believe – CBC Video

🍁 Maple Leaf or Make Believe – CBC Article

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Chapters

(00:00) Intro

(01:35) Pub Quiz: Maple Leaf or Make Believe

(02:35) Justin Gregg Interview

(49:24) Parish Notices: Hackney Mosaic Project

(57:05) Audio Archives: Unreleased Commercial

(1:10:49) Victorian Parlour Games

(1:13:00) Live Christmas Show

(1:14:20) Maple Leaf or Make Believe Answers

(1:15:24) Outro

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Credits

Hosted & Executive Produced by Kevin Bennett

Produced & Edited by Alex Graham

Assistant Produced by Adam Wright

Original music by Giles Terera

Music arranged and played by Joseph Atkins

Audio Archives written by Aidan Parker and performed by Jamie Sandersfield, Matthew Nicholson and Cait Roddam Jones

Welcome to The Big Smoke Variety Show!

We’re slipping a little audio chocolate into your advent calendar: the true origin of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, plus a reading of the original 1939 story that made him a star. A festive treat from The Big Smoke family to start the holiday season.

This piece was created by our host Kevin Bennett and is starring actors Adam Cunis and Hollie Hales. It warmed the hearts of the audience at our 2024 Christmas live show, so we wanted to share it with you as you open the first door of your advent calendars!

If you'd like to join the fun at our live show this year, click the link below for info and tickets.

Happy Holidays from The Big Smoke Variety Show!

🎟️ The Big Smoke LIVE Christmas Special is at The Phoenix Arts Club in Soho on 14th December, 2025 — expect ghost stories, games, music and festive mischief.

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Chapters

(00:00) Intro

(00:30) How Rudolph Came To Be

(05:27) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

(17:10) 2025 Live Christmas Show

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Credits

Hosted & Executive Produced by Kevin Bennett

Produced & Edited by Alex Graham

Assistant Produced by Adam Wright

Original music by Giles Terera

Music arranged and played by Joseph Atkins

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