The guys discuss why you should definitely eliminate salmon from your diet if you’re allergic to cocaine, when the right window treatments can prevent you from accidentally keistering an outdated
brick phone, and how a noise cancelling shed next to a bus stop is all but irrelevant if you can’t convince your wife to “list it”.

The guys discuss how a defective port-a-potty will ruin your sex life, when having “special socks” makes playing left field for the Mets at 50+ a possibility, and why having sex with your neighbor 72 times almost always results in a lawsuit.

The guys discuss why poorly hydrated goats will never be seen as attractive, when the inability to turn the pages of your diary inevitably means you’re going to die a virgin, and how much you should expect to spend to watch three strangers pleasure your wife to the point of tears while you hold her hand.

The guys discuss how not everyone is designed to be an athlete, when safely navigating a boat trip relies not only on sidewalks but traffic patterns, and why being the smartest in the room and naked doesn’t protect you from “flying rats”.

The guys discuss why you should always deny responsibility for the contents of your rectum, when having wheels means you don’t get line cuts, and how sifted muffins can be the leading cause of flesh wounds in at least one American household.

The guys discuss how consuming Big Macs will inevitably constitute as birth control, when keeping your rotisserie chicken and karaoke machine dry is NOT the largest obstacle you’re being faced with, and why it’s better to die 130 years early than become a parent following a Tsunami.

The guys discuss how much aluminum foil is necessary when jousting a Buick, when three wishes won’t make your oil light go out, and why not paying for your horse to ride the subway totally prevents you from handing out your golden pocket candy.

The guys discuss why it is imperative to vet your wizards properly prior to completing any financial transaction, when is the best time to interact with nocturnal, wallet-less, lowballing vampires in need of transportation, and how “breaking off a piece” of 12 tons of Italian KitKat bars leads to a delicious black market.