The guys discuss how the decision of “soup or salad” will always set the tone for sexy time that night, when getting the mail absolutely becomes your most death defying daily experience, and why having a quality alarm on your kayak can prevent a permanent nap when mountain climbing.

The guys discuss how a monkey with money is never hungry or horny, when a wedgie eliminates neck pain. and why an exploding nana leads to military dominance.

The guys discuss how the best way to determine a man’s wealth is by the direction of his zeros, when 5 stars and a shart guarantee crispy southwest egg rolls, and why you can never pack too much animal genitalia for transcontinental flights.

The guys discuss why sharing a scoop of cottage cheese and half a tomato guarantees you’ll be at every PTA meeting, when kicking over a stroller will save you from being scammed, and how broken buttons are the leading cause of infidelity in Texas.

The guys discuss how Jamaican enchiladas guarantee a successful marriage, when scoring 200 points during a robbery will only make the dog laugh at you, and why even the thrill of peppermint cannot save Damon and his self-proclaimed adequacy.

The guys discuss how sultry train videos can be an acceptable substitute to funky minge, when arson can be considered foreplay, and why launching dipping sauces into space is about to become an acceptable normality.

The guys discuss why it is so crucial to clock out prior to any workplace scuffle, when a chance meeting in Costa Rica instantly becomes deadly, and how Damon’s probably not a whale but definitely a mutant.

The guys discuss how a very lucrative Ponzi scheme can easily be formed by just clearing out your unwanted organs, when homemade currency and/or ID card should immediately raise suspicion, and why you should never buy your weed from Tyler.