A friend said something to me a few months ago (while I was complaining) that stopped me in my tracks: “Everyone wants a village — but nobody wants to be a villager.”

And once I heard it, I couldn’t un-know it. So many of us (AKA, me!) say we want deeper friendships, stronger community, people who show up for us… yet we’re participating in a culture that prioritizes convenience, hyper-independence, comfort, and productivity over closeness. We’ve optimized ourselves out of connection. We interact with services, not people. We protect our peace so hard, we don’t even consider the needs of others. We complain about loneliness and how hard it is to make friends as adults, but most people opt out of the effort and inconvenience that comes with community and togetherness.

So today, we’re unpacking the loneliness epidemic, the friendship recession, and what modern society is getting wrong about community-building. Most importantly, we cover how to actually be a villager, even when you’re busy, burnt out, uncomfortable, or socially awkward.

We weren’t meant to do life alone. And the village you’re looking for might start with you.

If you’ve been craving deeper friendships, more support and belonging, and being a part of something bigger than yourself, this episode is your reminder that community is built through effort, presence, generosity, and a willingness to be inconvenienced for the sake of care and connection.

Tune in to hear:

• What it really means to “be a villager” (and why closeness comes at a cost)
• The role convenience culture plays in loneliness and isolation
• The mental and physical health benefits of strong social ties
• Why self-care is overrated, because healing isn’t a solo sport
• How to start building your village through consistent micro-connections
• Reciprocity, generosity, and why community is about equity, not equality
• Saying yes more, and becoming a supportive attendee
• How to avoid social burnout and people-pleasing
• How to show up as a village leader (the art of hosting and building what doesn’t exist)
• Taking social risks and dealing with rejection
• Letting yourself show up imperfectly — messy house, bad mood, and all

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Welcome to this week’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed.

To navigate the onslaught of January "dieting" goals and diet industry campaigns, we're throwing it back to this necessary advice from expert Abbey Sharp on the realities of bloating, why gut health matters, natural remedies for your gut and bloating, and the new face of diet culture. Tune in if you want to free yourself from the mental weight of food guilt.

Abbey is a Registered Dietitian, food writer and blogger, best-selling author, TV and radio personality, and founder of Abbey’s Kitchen. You might know her from her insanely popular Youtube channel, TikTok and Instagram, which are followed by millions of fans for her empowering nutrition facts, wellness myth debunking, and highly entertaining critiques of BS celebrity diets.

Listen to our full episode with Abbey here!

Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.

Follow Abbey:

abbeyskitchen.com

Abbey's Youtube Channel

@AbbeysKitchen

For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network.

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teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter

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@teachmehowtoadultmedia

@gillian.berner

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I just celebrated my 35th birthday, and this year, instead of fearing aging or buying into the narrative that getting older is something to dread, I decided to approach this milestone with gratitude, reflection, and intention.

Aging is a privilege denied to many, and at 35, I can honestly say: I’ve never felt more like myself, and I wouldn’t want to go back to who I was at 25.

In this deeply personal and reflective episode, I’m sharing the 35 most life-changing lessons I’ve amassed about everything from confidence, mental health, and communication, to boundaries, purpose, willpower, and courage. Many of these insights were hard-earned over the last decade, and all of them have been shaped by the time I’ve spent hosting this podcast.

This episode is for anyone navigating their 30s, questioning their timeline, rebuilding self-trust, and learning how to live with more intention and alignment instead of fear.

Tune in to hear lessons including:

• Why motivation is a myth and systems matter more than discipline
• How confidence is built by keeping promises to yourself
• The importance of finding your career North Star
• An antidote to anxiety, and why communication requires emotional regulation
• Why community and relationships are essential to healing
• Using boundaries properly, ending people-pleasing, and learning to say yes and no with clarity
• The health and wellness changes that moved the needle for me
• Redefining success and how I use my time and money
• Courage over comfort… and why fear doesn’t have to disappear
• Changing paths, changing your mind, and embracing life in chapters
• Why you are NOT behind in life (there is no correct timeline!)

If any of these lessons resonate with you, I’d love to hear which one hit hardest. Comment what you connected with below, or share this episode with someone who’s navigating a similar season of life.

Thank you for being here, and for the continued gift of getting to grow up with the Teach Me How To Adult community throughout my 30s. I love you, and you’ve got this!

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@gillian.berner

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