In this episode, join four of the Tales from the Toolbox Team, Lara, Stacy, Belynda and Alice, for a warm and welcoming conversation on how the Hand in Hand Parenting tools really allow our children to FEEL the love and connection we offer.

If you want to get to grips with why connection is so powerful as an antidote to the busyness and stress that can get in the way of relationship, this is the episode for you.

You’ll hear more about:

• Micro moments of connection

• Unconditional love - what it is and why it matters

• Mummy hockey and how it brought connection

• How long it took us to bring play and listen to big feelings

• Why you are enough for your child

• How these tools can be a foundation of connection, especially if your child is struggling to feel your love

• How having a Special Time practice helps children learn to seek connection in their lives, and gives them a beautiful anchor point

• How ‘being present’ can be enough - we don’t have to ‘fix’ things.

You might enjoy some of the following resources on connection.

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2022/01/games-for-kids-all-ages/

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2013/08/build-connection-with-your-child-through-play-playlistening/

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2015/01/children-need-connection/

Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/

If you are interested in finding a Listening Partner, see our previous episode all about this amazing parent support tool at https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/listening-partnerships-the-missing-piece-in-the/id1652623498?i=1000587203616 If you’d like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group for Listening Partnerships, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8

You can connect with Belynda in Australia at hello@belyndasmith.com.au

You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com

You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org

You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com

You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a five star review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromthetoolbox/message

Join all five of the Tales from the Toolbox Team, Kelly, Belynda, Stacy, Alice and Lara, for a short bonus episode where they geek out a bit about the science behind Hand in Hand parenting and taking a connection-based approach.

If you’re curious about what happens in our brains as we seek safety and connection and the practical implications of this through childhood and adolescence then this is the episode for you.

You’ll hear more about:

• The brain science that helps us understand what’s going on for our kids in hard moments.
• How to help them to gain the safety that allows their thinking brain to come back ‘online’ after they’ve been off-track or upset.
• Why breaks in connection WILL happen, and some reassuring information about why this is ok.
• How children develop an internalised sense of safety and connection as they grow and develop, and the importance of repairing it when it inevitably breaks.
• How connection is the super protective factor in supporting adolescents as they make the transition to adulthood.

Join us!

If you are interested in finding a Listening Partner, see our previous episode all about this amazing parent support tool at ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/listening-partnerships-the-missing-piece-in-the/id1652623498?i=1000587203616⁠ If you’d like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group for Listening Partnerships, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: ⁠https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8⁠

You might enjoy some of the following resources on connection-focused parenting.

This article discusses the ETR study we mention in the episode. https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2011/11/parent-child-connectedness-takes-us-beyond-emotional-intelligence/

Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Seigel is a wonderful book if you want to learn more about the interpersonal neurobiology and attachment research that’s happening in a parent-child relationship, whether we realise or not.

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2017/01/science-behind-hand-hand-parenting-tool-staylistening/

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2019/09/brain-science-of-childrens-emotions-replay/

Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): ⁠https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/⁠

You can connect with Belynda in Australia at hello@belyndasmith.com.au

You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com

You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org

You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com

You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a five star review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

---

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromthetoolbox/message

In this episode, join all five of the Tales from the Toolbox Team, Lara, Kelly, Stacy, Belynda and Alice, for a spirited conversation on how to set limits playfully. They share how this combination of two Hand in Hand Parenting tools, Playlistening and Setting Limits, is so powerful for bringing co-operation and joy.

If you want to learn about why playful limits are not permissive and how they actually help to dissipate the tensions that drive challenging behavior, whilst also bringing more laughter and joy then this is the episode for you!

You’ll hear more about:

• Why it IS worth the effort of bringing play to limit setting moments
• How play can shift the dynamic to make challenging situations go much more smoothly
• How playful limits can allow children to laugh away emotional tensions and bring benefits to parents too
• Ways the team have found to help muster that playful attitude from singing operatically to talking hands and the ‘idiot dance’.
• How undesirable behaviors (even spitting!) often dissipate when we can bring play to them.
• How putting on a silly voice might be all it takes for a co-operative bedtime
• How a family culture of playfulness can save time and energy now and pave the way towards ease in the future
• That playfulness even helps to build your child’s resilience and intelligence
• How playful limits are not a case of ‘rewarding bad behavior’ - instead they can communicate confidence and safety to our children AND turn a hard moment into a golden opportunity for connection
• Practicing a playful tone and why it’s helpful
• How getting better at setting limits can help us set boundaries in all areas of life

And, if you are interested in finding a Listening Partner and would like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8

You might enjoy some of the following resources on playful limits.

• https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2018/09/setting-boundaries-on-behavior-with-humor/
• https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2018/03/set-limits-laughter/
• In this article, getting teddy involved was the perfect way to improve table manners: https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2018/01/improve-manners-with-playful-parenting/
• Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

In this episode join Alice, Lara, Stacy and Belynda for a fun filled conversation about the Hand in Hand Parenting tool of Playlistening. We discuss how this tool is all about laughter and the amazing benefits that brings, from increased cooperation to less arguing and, most of all, an increased feeling of fun and connection in your family.

You’ll hear more about

• The benefits of letting your child be the strong, powerful, competent one while you are a bumbling fool
• How chasing the giggles helps your child heal from fears and other hurts
• Why roughhousing is a great thing to add to your day
• How Playlistening can help resolve sibling or friend squabbles
• That we all find it hard at times to be playful and how we can resource ourselves to return to a playful attitude
• Starting small and thinking about where you most want to bring lightness to your day
• Experimenting and knowing that it won’t always work out… and that’s ok!
• Using playfulness to bring limits that build cooperation and connection

If you want to learn how to approach tricky moments with play, find some ideas for games, and the kinds of situations where this tool can really help, this is the episode for you!

And, if you are interested in finding a Listening Partner and would like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8

Some other resources on Playlistening you might enjoy:

• An article outlining this tool https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2019/03/get-past-power-battles-the-fun-way-a-playful-parents-guide-to-discipline/
• Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore (which has a whole chapter dedicated to Playlistening AND is also available as an audiobook) - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/
• These articles sharing playful ways to deal with many common parenting predicaments https://www.handinhandparenting.org/?s=playful+ways&id=23456
• Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen - a fantastic book for all things play related.
• The Art Of Roughousing by Anthony DeBenedet and Lawrence Cohen for some great ideas about how to get started, or level up, your physical play.

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

• You can connect with Belynda in Australia at belynda.smith@meerilinga.org.au
• You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com
• You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org
• You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com
• You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za

Setting Limits Introduction

In this episode join Belynda, Kelly, Lara and Alice for a thoughtful conversation about the Hand in Hand Parenting tool of Setting Limits. We share our own stories around how we’ve used it and report on some of the challenges we’ve had in our families with this useful and nuanced tool. We even manage to find the funny side of things... not always easy when our children dig in and seem like they are never going to cooperate!

You’ll hear more about

• Why Setting Limits is so different within the Hand in Hand paradigm
• How the framework of connection helps us to understand what’s happening when a limit is needed
• The inner shift that helps us bring limits in this kind, collaborative way
• Why control and limits are different things
• How you working WITH them against the problem is so much more effective than you making them the problem
• How the Listen, Limit, Listen framework helps
• The importance of considering whether our expectations are developmentally appropriate and how this can relax everyone
• How to BRING the limit
• How holding an expectation can be a great way to set limits
• How bringing space into the moment around a limit can help
• Why Listening Partnerships are so valuable in supporting us to set limits in this way
• How rewards and consequences aren’t necessary when we set limits this way
• Tales of how we’ve used Setting Limits in our own lives

If you want to learn how to set limits with love, laughter and kindness, and a rock-solid sense of confidence, this is the episode for you!

And, if you are interested in finding a Listening Partner and would like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8

Some other resources on Setting Limits you might enjoy:

• An article outlining this tool https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/how-to-set-limits-in-three-easy-steps/
• An online, self paced workshop if you want to dive deeper https://www.handinhandparenting.org/product/setting-limits-building-cooperation-online-class-2/
• Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore (which has a whole chapter dedicated to Setting Limits AND is also available as an audiobook) - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

• You can connect with Belynda in Australia at belynda.smith@meerilinga.org.au
• You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com
• You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org
• You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com
• You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za