In this episode, Cindy Esliger dives into what it’s like being the only woman in a room full of men, and the unique challenges that present to our careers. When there’s no other woman, it creates a kind of professional loneliness that’s hard to explain. But worse, with nobody like us to gauge our progress against, compare notes with, and validate our experiences, we end up isolated and self-doubting. Cindy gets into how to celebrate our own progress even when we have nobody to reflect it back to us, and why creating a community outside our work is a necessity for success.

Being the only woman, or one of very few, in a workplace often means our feedback ranges from vague to contradictory. We’re told we’re doing great, but aren’t promoted. We’re told to speak up, but when we do, we’re labeled aggressive. Without a support system to validate these experiences and help us remember our strengths, we second-guess ourselves and miss out on opportunities for growth. Cindy explores what validation really means and how to get it for ourselves when we’re alone in an organization.

There are ways to make things easier on ourselves, to focus on what we can control and define our own success. Cindy outlines them in five points: 1. Find and create community outside our organization, 2. Turn vague feedback into a growth opportunity, 3. Create our own developmental roadmap, 4. Recenter ourselves with personal metrics for success, 5. Learn from others without diminishing ourselves, 6. Build resilience by focusing on becoming stronger, and 7. Consistent actions build momentum. We have the power to define success on our own terms and make our own growth opportunities even when we’re alone.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Thriving When You're The Only One
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger addresses the reality that we often fail to recognize our own growth and why that matters to our careers. Our brains are wired to overlook wins, and Cindy explores why this is, as well as what cognitive biases are eroding our confidence. When we can’t see our own progress, we tend to focus on our perceived failures and don’t hold onto praise as long as we hold onto negativity. Why this impacts our careers and what strategies we can use to retrain our brains to notice our growth are the key things Cindy shares in this episode.

If we can’t see how much we grow, we lose faith in our own ability to take the next big step in our careers. Cindy outlines five big consequences of being blind to our progress: 1. Erosion of self-trust, 2. Being stuck in imposter syndrome, 3. Setting ourselves up for burnout and resentment, 4. Missing opportunities, and 5. Damaging our professional reputation. There is a real cost that we need to avoid by breaking the cycle of downplaying our achievements and missing our own development. Cindy shares what to look for in ourselves to identify our need to pause and take stock.

Simply identifying that we dismiss praise and compliments is not enough, however. We need to take actionable steps to retrain our brains so we can build self-trust and accept our own achievements. The practical strategies Cindy advises are: 1. Keep a progress file or brag folder, 2. Set up quarterly check-ins on our past selves versus our present selves, 3. Practice evidence-based self-talk, 4. Celebrate small wins in real time, and 5. Reframe ‘not enough’ as ‘not yet’. We’ve come farther than we think, and Cindy wants us to build up the habit of owning our accomplishments.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Tracking Your Growth
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger unpacks the reality about first impressions and how they can quietly make or break a professional trajectory at work. While we tell ourselves that what’s on the inside is what matters, the uncomfortable truth about first impressions can’t be ignored. In a work setting, the way we carry ourselves, our posture, expression, and even choice of clothing can all determine how seriously we are taken. Cindy explores the subtle cues we may send without realizing it, the consequences of neglecting our professional presence, and shares strategies for taking back control without acting.

It’s simply a fact that it takes less than 30 seconds for people to form opinions about us based solely on a first glance. That’s not enough time to say hello or learn anything about us. So neglecting how we present ourselves can have long-term consequences. Cindy outlines five of those consequences when we ignore how we are perceived: 1. We get underestimated, 2. We get overlooked, 3. We get misunderstood, 4. We send mixed signals, and 5. We miss our chance to connect if we’re closed off.

Everything from our posture and facial expressions contributes to first impressions. Body language is a key part of communication. We want to be authentic, but aware of how we are seen. Do we fidget? Avoid eye contact? Dress to hide? Cindy shares five strategies for refining our presence: 1. Start with one small change, 2. Let our clothes work for us, not against us, 3. Use eye contact, posture, and a smile as tools, 4. Use our hands with purpose, and 5. Don’t perform confidence, build it.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Making A Powerful First Impression
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger addresses defensiveness at work, that tendency that some of us have to walk into work already braced for a fight. We assume criticism is coming even when it isn’t and tend to perceive questions directed at us as personal attacks. We probably don’t even realize we’re doing it. Cindy breaks down why we assume a defensive posture and how to identify those patterns, and she shows what it looks like to shift from reacting to responding. Ultimately, self-awareness is a much more powerful tool than justifying and deflecting.

Heading into work on the defensive isn’t a case of everything being wrong at all times, but it is often a learned behavior. We’re always bracing ourselves for criticism as a survival strategy. But it’s mentally exhausting and can be a career liability. Cindy describes five common risks we encounter when our default is defensiveness: 1. Damaged relationships, 2. Missed learning opportunities, 3. Reinforcing negative perceptions and stereotypes of women in male-dominated spaces, 4. Emotional overload, and 5. Stalled career progress.

Cindy explains that shifting from defensive reacting to actual responding can take time, and we often mistake compliance for commitment. Compliance means doing what we’re told just because we have to. Many of us fear that. But commitment means doing things because we believe in them. That’s our goal. Cindy offers five practical ways to help us shift out of defensive mode: 1. Before any high-stakes conversation, breathe, 2. Ask reflective questions in real time, 3. Create a pause buffer between emotion and reaction, 4. Name the emotion, and 5. Choose curiosity over certainty. It’s time to lay down our armor and be intentional about our presence at work.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Letting Go of Defensiveness
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger discusses the difference between being good at our jobs and being easy to work with in this episode. Self-awareness is the key to career growth, and it’s not just about knowing our strengths or how we like to work. It’s about understanding how our behavior impacts others and how we’re perceived. Cindy breaks down exactly what true self-awareness looks like and why it matters more than ever. The value of accepting feedback and being easy to work with are things many of us underestimate, but which will open more doors in the long run.

There are two types of people in the world: those who think they’re self-aware and those who actually are. Those who only think they are tend not to have any idea of the impact of their actions on others. Behavior blindness is real. Cindy outlines five unpleasant consequences of not paying attention to what it’s like to work with ourselves: 1. Stalled career growth, 2. Damaged relationships, 3. Lack of critical feedback, 4. Reputational damage, and 5. Missed opportunities. If we want people to want to work with us, we have to make it a painless experience.

Being easy to work with involves following instructions, being on time, and not making things harder than they should be. External self-awareness, knowing how we’re perceived, is just as important as internal self-awareness and knowing ourselves. Cindy shares five strategies to make self-awareness easier to build: 1. Compare perceptions with actual outcomes, 2. Ask for feedback early and often, 3. Be coachable, 4. Challenge our assumptions, and 5. Practice perspective-taking. We have the power to build reputations that open doors and make people want to work with us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Understanding Your Impact
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger explores regret, the unpleasant emotion we’d rather forget about that can actually help us grow and gain clarity. Regret isn’t a sign that something is wrong with us; it’s actually a sign that things matter to us. It alerts us to something that didn’t align or that still needs our attention. So if we learn to acknowledge regret, it can be a catalyst for transformation. Cindy offers insight into defining, understanding, and dealing with regret so it can become a useful tool in career advancement.

Regret tends to be quite uncomfortable, so we avoid revisiting it. However, there are consequences to not reckoning with our regret, and Cindy identifies four of them: 1. Career stagnation, 2. Chronic dissatisfaction, 3. Low self-trust, and 4. People-pleasing paralysis. Cindy points out that when we dare to examine our regrets, we can turn them into strategic fuel for career growth. She names three ways we can start: 1. Reflect on past regrets, 2. Anticipate potential future regrets before making a decision, and 3. Recognize the lessons in our regrets.

Author Dan Pink identifies four kinds of regrets: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets. Understanding these can help us realize that regret does not necessarily point to something done wrong, but rather that something was challenging or we were at a crossroads. Cindy shares five powerful ways to harness the value of regret without getting stuck in it: 1. Use the future self test, 2. Sort the decisions that actually matter, 3. Reframe mistakes as data points, 4. Set our own bar, and 5. Practice self-compassion. The goal is to work with our regrets instead of against them.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Turning Regret Into Career Clarity
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger puts the spotlight on people-pleasing and conflict avoidance in the workplace, exploring how to stop playing small to please others. If we don’t define what we want from our careers, others decide what we deserve, and we end up settling for that. We deserve better, though, and Cindy explains the cost of staying silent about our needs. She offers ways to shift from reacting to responding, how to set boundaries without guilt, and how to communicate assertively.

There is a cost to simply going with the flow and refusing to make waves. Being easygoing isn’t a strength in every situation. We need to set our own boundaries and make our needs heard. Cindy outlines five of the most common consequences of not doing this: 1. Chronic resentment, 2. Identity stagnation, 3. Invisible contributions, 4. Doing great work just earns more work, and 5. Muddled communication. We’re conditioned to think that accommodating others makes us better colleagues, but what it actually does is teach others that our time and energy are up for negotiation.

If we’re feeling obliged to say yes, saying sure and rearranging our schedules, waiting to be recognized without advocating for ourselves, thinking our needs and wants are too much, or thinking people should just know what we need, then we’re already in the trap of people-pleasing and letting others decide our path. Cindy shares five strategies on how to ask for more without burning bridges in the process: 1. Shift from reacting to responding, 2. Name what we actually want, 3. Communicate clearly, 4. Set boundaries and stick to them, and 5. Repair, don’t resent. The key to change isn’t becoming louder or more aggressive; it’s in becoming more intentional.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Laying Claim to What You Want
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Cindy Esliger confronts self-doubt and explores what it takes to counteract it in our careers. Self-doubt shows up quietly, like a persistent undercurrent, and if we’re not careful it will chip away at our confidence while feeling logical. How do we reshape our response to self-doubt? Cindy discusses how a subtle but powerful mindset shift can lead to the kind of career growth we didn’t let ourselves believe was possible. Believing in ourselves is choosing to build the version of our career that we really want to experience.

When self-doubt takes hold of us, it appears as a slippery, sneaky voice that whispers we’re not ready or not qualified, and left unchecked, that limits our career growth. It convinces us to stay in our lane and keep quiet. There are systemic inequities at play and performance pressure that contributes to this doubt. But we sometimes can’t identify that it’s happening. So Cindy points out the five most common red flags that self-doubt may be showing up: 1. Waiting to be picked, 2. Discounting praise or deflecting credit, 3. Over-apologizing or hedging our ideas, 4. Passing on opportunities, and 5. Mentally beating ourselves up for not being perfect.

Cindy immediately counters these red flags with five effective strategies for combatting self-doubt: 1. Reframe failure as growth, 2. Get out of our head and into motion, 3. Focus on one brave action at a time, 4. Shape our mindset to be more encouraging, and 5. Practice a little positivity. Cynicism often feels safer because it protects us from disappointment, but Cindy urges us to believe in ourselves instead. After all, what do we have to lose? Countering self-doubt is about choosing to take action even when we don’t yet feel confident.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Counteracting Your Self-Doubt
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.