Forgiveness is a lifelong journey. Our perspective on forgiveness changes over time and when carrying our woundedness takes up too much space in our lives, we look to let go of it. What does it take to be free of the anger and hurt that we have brought along with us? Is forgiveness different than letting go? Can you forgive without reconciliation? How do we heal broken relationships? It is not always possible to forgive and reconcile, which makes letting go more difficult. Looking for a wider perspective helps and we explore the words of Rolo May, a 20th century existential psychologist, “No person is reducible to their worst act, just as we hope not to be reduced to our worst act”. Our discussion finds us reflecting on our efforts so far to experience freedom from resentments and bitterness. It takes courage to address the need to have closure on relationships and the older we get the more urgent it becomes to take the risk.

*Please note that Ellie, our pet, wanted to engage in this conversation so there are a few low level barks and pitter patting of paws included for your entertainment.

In addition to the many areas of decision making that we have carried all our lives like meal planning and preparation, car maintenance, house maintenance and travel, we now must consider new areas that are unique to aging. Decisions related to medical conditions, downsizing, end-of-life planning, finances and family relationships intrude on what is supposed to be a less stressful time of our lives. Continually having to make choices can be exhausting for any life stage but can be particularly exhausting as an older person. Having someone to share the decisions with can be both a help and a hindrance, as we discover, and changing the roles we have had for a lifetime is tricky. The question, “Do you want to drive?” is not the simple yes or no answer it appears to be. This is an engaging, enlightening conversation about decisions and choices.

A big part of the holiday season are the traditions that we keep as a family, as a culture and as a nation. What are those traditions and what do they mean to us? Shopping for meaningful gifts and making sure we find the right gift is a big part of the holiday season, not to mention when those gifts are opened. Traditional foods of the season, often cultural, are also important as are the family gatherings around food. Taking time to be together, whether it’s eating, skating, playing games or hanging out helps us take a break from the everyday weariness of world news and personal struggles. And although we don’t make new year resolutions anymore, as we get older, we are making strategic decisions about how we want to spend the time we have left. Listen to the holiday edition of Seniors in the Building.

Reading is a big part of all our lives, and we have thoughts on that! In this episode we share what reading means to us; how it helped us find calm in large, chaotic families; legitimized being introverted; and was a means to pursue knowledge. We talk about our reading journeys and what books mean to us now. We debate e-books versus physical books and discover a place for both. We laugh with a children’s book and see evidence that we have passed our love of reading on to our children and grandchildren. Reading to grandchildren is the best, and even better when they read to you! Listen and get excited about reading with us.

Is our world more chaotic now? Are we living in unprecedented times? How are we impacted? More to the point, how will our children and grandchildren be impacted? What will they inherit? After a brilliant introduction, our conversation wandered somewhat from climate change to Artificial Intelligence (AI) to whether there were any historical precedents to what we are experiencing to getting overwhelmed by news and how to discern whether it’s true or not, back to AI and then positivism. We conclude we are living in turbulent times and that they are unsettling but continue to be present to our children and grandchildren in the chaos, facing it together and in community.

What are the hard times that we have lived through? Is hardship also suffering? And what about wild times, does that equate with hard times? What are the hard times that have left a mark on us? What is that mark? How does it impact our tolerance or compassion? We take on these questions and have a compelling conversation about how our lived experiences have shaped us and what we learned from them. We are forever changed by events that affect us deeply and are always working through them on some level at different times in our lives. Retirement is one of those times that brings the unexpected resurfacing of the traumas of our younger selves at a time when we may be declining in health and experiencing new hardships. We explore how we manage and cope, the unrealistic societal expectations around hardship and loss, and how we continue to care for our retired selves and others in the face of human suffering

How would you characterize your childhood? When we jokingly refer to our childhoods as feral, we are really talking about the kind of childhood that had fewer rules, with parents that didn’t hover and where we learned how to trust our wits when the ground gave way. We share the funny stories, the daring stories and the stories that leave us shaking our heads. We share what we learned about fairness, justice and courage. How did our childhoods affect the way we parented our own children? What were the skills that we came away with that we still use today? From building tree houses out of stolen materials and protesting being banned from the playground to running free on the beach all summer and sleeping alone in the bush, we have a lot of fun telling our stories from a feral childhood!

Nancy Phillips joins us today on the podcast. A retired nurse, writer, and Spiritual Director, she developed and now leads “Growing in Wisdom” a 2-year program focused on the spirituality of aging. Nancy spent the first year of her early retirement dealing with illness and the death of loved ones at a time when she needed to rest. She tells her story of finding a way out of the weary space she was in and onto a whole new path of healing, growing and discovery, one she now offers to others. Nancy describes the four things that she has found can assist us on our spiritual journey; establishing a contemplative practice; engaging and accepting our aging body with compassion; finding opportunities to talk about death and dying; and becoming a blessing elder. Listen as we talk with her, share our own stores, and explore what it means to age with wisdom and grace.