S1 EP 41 The Performance Trap
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Ever chased a goal thinking it would finally make you feel "enough"—only to feel empty when you got there? This episode digs into the performance trap: the cycle of achieving more and more while still feeling unfulfilled inside.
Dr. Teresa Reyes Castillo and Silvana Deigan explore why we set goals that can never actually satisfy us—like buying a fancy car hoping it will make us feel loved, or climbing the corporate ladder seeking approval we never got as kids. Spoiler: you don't just get a car and roll into a commercial where everyone's popping bottles. That's not how it works.
The sisters share their own stories: Silvana's short-lived (and embarrassing) career as a conservatory dancer, Teresa's 23-year journey to become a psychologist despite being told she'd never get into a PhD program, and why the motivation behind your goals matters more than the achievement itself.
In this episode:
- Why external achievements can't fill internal voids
- The difference between goals driven by passion vs. goals driven by approval-seeking
- How "keeping up with the Joneses" leads to emptiness
- Silvana's brilliant "post-it note dance" exercise for letting go (and why some baggage isn't even yours)
- The importance of your support system over any career milestone
- Why you're still taking yourself into that fancy car—anxiety, insecurities and all
Key takeaway: The performance trap is setting goals designed to fail—chasing external validation for internal fulfillment. Real satisfaction comes from knowing why you're pursuing something and surrounding yourself with people who support the real you.
Permission granted: Stop performing. Start living.
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