Épisodes

  • Ep228: Recovering from Rope Bondage Trauma
    Jun 15 2026
    Thank you to listener MoonBunny5 for sharing a difficult and vulnerable question. After experiencing a very negative interaction with a rigger, she now struggles to even look at rope without feeling disgusted. She wants to know whether it's possible to return to rope after an experience like this, and if so, how. While neither Mya nor Fox are therapists, this episode explores some of the concepts that may be helpful when approaching recovery from rope-related trauma. Topics include: • Why trauma can occur in rope communities more often than many people realise • The role of nervous system regulation and emotional safety • Understanding the difference between thoughts and feelings • Using free writing to process difficult experiences • Exploring alternative contexts and associations • Reintroducing rope slowly, beginning with rope as a simple object • The principles behind exposure therapy • Practising self-compassion throughout recovery • Creating safe environments for trauma work Important note: We strongly encourage seeking support from a qualified therapist where available. The ideas discussed in this episode are intended as general discussion and are best explored alongside professional support.
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    27 min
  • Ep227: Vetting Rope Partners
    Jun 1 2026
    Vetting is the process of deciding whether someone is a good fit before you trust them as a rope partner. It might sound simple, but in practice there’s a lot to consider - your context, your risk tolerance, and what information actually matters. In this episode, Fox and Mya explore how vetting can shift over time, the different types of risk you might weigh, and how to approach references with a critical lens. They discuss what information can be useful, the role of asking intentional questions, and how instinct and bias can both shape your decisions. They also cover common red flags, why self-awareness is key to vetting others effectively, and share their own personal approaches to the process.
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    30 min
  • Ep226: Minimalistic Western Rope with Rigger Mystrix
    May 18 2026
    With an infectious delight in what she calls “macramé with humans,” Mystrix brings a thoughtful, creative approach to minimalistic western rope. In this conversation, she shares how her style focuses on adapting rope to the individual - prioritizing intention, efficiency, and connection over complexity. We talk about her journey into rope, what continues to fuel her passion, and how her perspective has evolved over time. The discussion explores tying diverse bodies, navigating the scene as a fat femme rigger, and the importance of understanding physics - especially when working with larger or squishier bodies. The episode also covers the differences between shibari and minimalistic western rope, separating rope from other kink dynamics, and the practical and creative choices that shape her practice; from rope materials like POSH to incorporating scent and sensory elements. Mystrix frames rope as playful problem-solving: a balance of fundamentals, curiosity, and continuous refinement. Her focus is on creating experiences where bottoms feel strong, supported, and fully seen - while emphasizing that rope should always adapt to the person, not the other way around.
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    28 min
  • Ep225: Combining rope bondage with…sharps
    May 4 2026
    What happens when precision meets tension? In this episode, Mya and Fox dive into the edge where rope and sharps intersect - an intense, deliberate form of play that demands skill, trust, and control. - What counts as sharps play - Real risks (and why they're often misunderstood) - When the top may be at greater risk than the bottom - Why people are drawn to sharps—on both sides of the dynamic - Tie styles that pair well with sharps - Roleplay dynamics that elevate the experience - Staying organised and in control - Incorporating sharps into suspensions - How sharps interact with (and can damage) rope This is one of the less talked-about combinations - and there's a reason it requires experience and intention.
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    30 min
  • Ep224: How Do You Visit a Rope Bar in Japan? - A conversation with Nuit de Tokyo, a European immersed in the Japanese rope scene
    Apr 20 2026
    What does it really mean to step into a Japanese rope bar - and how do you do it without getting it wrong? In this episode, Mya and Fox speak with Nuit de Tokyo, whose engagement with Japanese rope spans more than three decades. His learning has come through formal training, deep cultural immersion, and proximity to source: watching over a thousand SM performances, performing publicly, and absorbing the unspoken knowledge that circulates in bars, backstage spaces, and long-standing communities. This is a conversation about time, continuity, and lineage - and what Western practitioners often miss. We explore: • Nuit de Tokyo’s journey from Paris to Tokyo via martial arts • Discovering SM and rope in the pre-internet era, through rare publications and bondage books • Key differences between European and Japanese rope scenes • What a Japanese rope bar actually is, and why bar culture matters in Tokyo • How rope bars work, event etiquette, and how to attend respectfully • The biggest cultural missteps Westerners make - and how to avoid them • How poetry, Confucian social structures, morality, and Japanese banquet culture inform modern shibari • Dispelling the persistent myth that shibari originates from Hojojutsu Insightful, grounded, and essential listening for anyone curious about rope culture beyond the surface. Nuit de Tokyo first traveled to Japan in 1989 and began collecting kinbaku books the following year, an archive that has since grown into the thousands. By the early 2000s, during a second extended stay, his Japanese language skills allowed him to move beyond observation and into lived experience within the Tokyo SM scene, where studio time, late nights, and long conversations became part of his education. His training is rooted in long-term study rather than brief encounters. A formative lesson with Akechi Kanna in 2005 marked a turning point, and when Kanna came out of retirement in 2010, NdT undertook several years of structured training across the full cursus under him. In parallel, he studied continuously for nine years with Yukimura Haruki, an extended apprenticeship that profoundly shaped his technical approach and his understanding of lineage, transmission, and responsibility within rope.
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    37 min
  • Ep223: How to Be a ‘Rope Assistant’
    Apr 6 2026
    This week, Fox and Mya explore a role in rope bondage that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: the rope assistant. Neither top nor bottom, but an active and intentional part of the scene—this dynamic opens up new possibilities for connection, support, and creativity. Fox and Mya break down: • What the role actually involves (and common misconceptions) • Ways a rope assistant can contribute to a scene • How power, service, and intention can show up in this dynamic • Who might enjoy this role and why • Tips to make the experience fulfilling for everyone involved • Handling the added complexity of multi-person scenes • Risks to be aware of when introducing a third person • Personal examples of how this dynamic has worked in practice A practical, thoughtful look at expanding rope dynamics and creating more connected, collaborative scenes.
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    19 min
  • Ep222: Whimsy & Erotic Anguish — Creating a Shibari Colouring Book with Muffy (Against-TheGrain)
    Mar 23 2026
    From squeaky ducky paddles to exquisite rope art Muffy's creative journey is anything but ordinary. The owner of UK BDSM brand Against-TheGrain, Muffy is an intermediate rope switch who's turned shibari into something playful, painful, and unexpectedly meditative: colouring books for rope lovers. Created in collaboration with 7 artists across the UK, USA, and Australia, these books transform real riggers and rope bottoms into expressive, erotic art meant to be felt, not followed. In this episode, Mya and Fox dig into: - Turning rope into interactive art - Capturing erotic anguish on the page - The challenges of building a global creative collaboration - Why these images are about interpretation, not instruction - What colouring adds to the shibari experience - And the hosts delight at seeing their own rope images brought to life
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    18 min
  • Ep221: ‘Suspendability’ in Rope Bondage - Listener's Mail
    Mar 9 2026
    When does a tie become suspension-worthy? Is it a binary "Yes/No," or is there a grey area where physics and risk collide? This week, we’re answering a brilliant listener question from @TangledNTwisted: “What actually makes a tie suspension-worthy?” Fox and Mya break down the "Suspendability Spectrum," moving away from rigid rules and moving toward a framework of Data, Mechanics, and Risk Management. What We’re Breaking Down: - The Risk Profile: How to evaluate the "cost of failure" before the feet leave the floor. - The Mechanics of Injury: Identifying the specific anatomical stressors (nerves, circulation, and soft tissue) that change when gravity enters the chat. - Surface Area & Distribution: The physics of why "more rope" isn't always the simple answer. - The "Bottom’s Tax": How much are we actually asking of the person in the ropes? - Science-ing It: How to gather data through incremental testing and low-air experimentation. The Takeaway: Suspendability isn't a checkbox; it’s a conversation between the rigger, the bottom, and the laws of physics. We’re here to help you move from "I think this is safe" to "I have the data to know why this works."
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    23 min