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Letting go creates space.
Discernment decides what fills it.

In this episode of Red Thread: The Fire Within, we move beyond release and into the quieter, more deliberate work of choosing what stays.

I’m recording this episode just after running the Chevron Houston Marathon — an experience that became a living metaphor for discernment. Marathon training required saying no to things I wanted to do, not because they weren’t good, but because they weren’t aligned with what I was choosing in that season. And that same principle shows up everywhere in life — relationships, careers, leadership, and personal growth.

In this episode, I share:

• How discernment showed up in my own life — from marathon training to stepping into people leadership
• Why saying yes to everything slowly drains what matters most
• How commitment and intentional choice create clarity, not restriction
• Why the goals that fulfill us often require letting other things fall away

This conversation isn’t about doing more.
It’s about choosing with care.

Listener Invitations (Reflection + Action)

As you listen, you may want to pause and reflect on these questions:

• Notice your yes-es
  What are you currently saying yes to that quietly pulls energy away from what matters most?
• Pay attention to what you protect
  Finish this sentence: “The thing I am most protective of right now is ______ — and that tells me something important.”
• Consider the trade-offs
  If you fully committed to what matters most in this season, what would naturally fall away?
• Name what you’re choosing
  What are you willing to structure your life around right now — not out of pressure, but out of purpose?
• Practice discernment as self-trust
  Write down: “The next season of my life requires me to be more intentional about ______.”

These aren’t tasks — they’re invitations to listen more closely to yourself.

Why This Matters (Research Foundations)

This episode is grounded in lived experience and supported by research on motivation and choice:

• Intrinsic motivation & values-aligned goals
  Psychologists Edward Deci, PhD, and Richard Ryan, PhD, creators of Self-Determination Theory, show that goals rooted in personal values — rather than external approval — are more sustainable and fulfilling.
• Choice, commitment, and satisfaction
  Behavioral psychologist Barry Schwartz, PhD, author of The Paradox of Choice, explains how too many options and external pressures can disconnect us from satisfaction, while intentional constraints create clarity.

Discernment isn’t rigidity.
It’s honesty.

If you’re standing at a crossroads, deciding what stays and what goes, this episode is for you.

Pull the thread.
Your fire knows what matters.

Support the show

Thank you for being here and for pulling on the thread with me.

Every download, share, review, and moment you spend listening helps this community grow into something real, grounded, and heart-led. If this episode spoke to you, please follow the show, leave a review, or support the podcast through Listener Support on Buzzsprout.

Your energy keeps this fire burning and I’m deeply grateful you’re part of this unfolding story.

Pull the thread. Your fire is waiting.

Send us a text

Letting go isn’t a single decision — it’s a process.

In this episode of Red Thread: The Fire Within, I return to a promise I made earlier in the season: to talk honestly about what it means to release the roles, identities, relationships, and expectations that no longer fit who we’re becoming.

This conversation is personal.

I share how letting go showed up in my own life: from ending long-term relationships and knowing when it was time to leave my first marriage, to stepping away from familiar, comfortable career roles and taking a leap into people leadership when I felt the quiet pull to lead and help others.

We talk about why letting go is so hard, why familiarity can keep us stuck longer than we realize, and why clarity often comes after we release, not before.

This episode isn’t about rushing forward.
It’s about making room.

Listener Invitations (Reflection + Action)

If you want to go deeper after listening, here are a few gentle invitations we explore throughout the episode:

• Notice what you’re holding onto out of familiarity, not alignment
  Ask yourself: What feels known and safe, but no longer true?
• Acknowledge the version of yourself you may have outgrown
  Finish this sentence honestly:
  “The version of me that feels tired or resistant right now is trying to protect me from ______.”
• Allow space for grief, especially for imagined futures
  Consider whether there’s a life, identity, or future you need to acknowledge letting go of — even if nothing “went wrong.”
• Create intentional stillness
  Spend 10 minutes this week without fixing, planning, or scrolling.
  Ask: What wants to be released right now?
• Choose what you carry forward
  Write two simple lists:
  What I’m releasing and What I’m carrying forward.

These aren’t tasks — they’re invitations to listen more closely to yourself.


Why This Matters (Research Foundations)

While this episode is grounded in lived experience, it’s also supported by well-established research on change, identity, and growth:

• Loss aversion & familiarity — Our brains are wired to prefer what’s familiar, even when it no longer fits (Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow). This helps explain why we often stay longer than we should — in relationships, roles, and identities.
• Identity and reinvention — Leadership research shows that growth rarely begins with clarity; it begins with discomfort and experimentation as we outgrow old identities (Ibarra, Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader).
• Ambiguous loss & grief — We don’t only grieve what we lose physically; we also grieve imagined futures and identities, which deserve acknowledgment to move forward in a healthy way (Boss, Ambiguous Loss).

Letting go isn’t failure.
It’s refinement.

If you’re standing between who you were and who you’re becoming, this episode is for you.

Pull the thread.
Your fire is waiting.

Support the show

Thank you for being here and for pulling on the thread with me.

Every download, share, review, and moment you spend listening helps this community grow into something real, grounded, and heart-led. If this episode spoke to you, please follow the show, leave a review, or support the podcast through Listener Support on Buzzsprout.

Your energy keeps this fire burning and I’m deeply grateful you’re part of this unfolding story.

Pull the thread. Your fire is waiting.

Send us a text

This week’s episode wasn’t planned — and that’s the point.

After my nephew Henry became critically ill and was hospitalized, everything else paused. What started as a routine virus escalated rapidly into a life-threatening infection that required emergency surgery, aggressive treatment, and constant vigilance. In the middle of that, I found myself living the very lessons this podcast is about: not through productivity or progress, but through presence, loyalty, and strength in unexpected forms.

In this episode, I share:

• What it means to lean into your strengths during crisis
• Why purpose sometimes shows up as steadiness, not success
• The power of intuition, advocacy, and speaking up
• How asking for help is not weakness, but resilience
• What a true support system looks like when the village shows up, every damn day

This is a story about love, community, reinvention, and remembering what matters when life interrupts the plan.

Thank you for giving this moment space. We’ll return to our regularly scheduled programming next week, but changed, in the best way.

Support the show

Thank you for being here and for pulling on the thread with me.

Every download, share, review, and moment you spend listening helps this community grow into something real, grounded, and heart-led. If this episode spoke to you, please follow the show, leave a review, or support the podcast through Listener Support on Buzzsprout.

Your energy keeps this fire burning and I’m deeply grateful you’re part of this unfolding story.

Pull the thread. Your fire is waiting.