How to stop feeling stuck when life feels out of your control — and why staying stuck often isn’t a choice. For a lot of people it’s learned helplessness: a program written into them before they were old enough to question it. A belief — quiet, automatic, deeply convincing — that nothing they do will change what happens to them.

In this episode, Mari shares the hand she was dealt — two parents gone by 20, her siblings to care for, a body that eventually staged a revolt — and the kitchen table moment with a $10 book that changed everything. Then she goes into the science behind why people stay stuck, and what it actually takes to start building new wiring.

This Episode Covers

• Learned helplessness: what it is, where it comes from, and why it isn’t your fault
• Martin Seligman’s research — and why the dogs in his famous experiment matter to your life
• Seligman’s explanatory style: the three P’s that keep people stuck (permanent, pervasive, personal)
• Neuroplasticity: how the brain builds new wiring — and what you have to do to make it happen
• Five steps to start rewriting the program
• How one woman — who never escaped poverty herself — may have given her children the most important thing of all

If Episode 1 was about making a plan when crisis hits — Episode 2 is about understanding why so many of us couldn’t make that plan in the first place. And what changes when we finally do.

Research & References

• Peale, N.V. (1952). The Power of Positive Thinking. Prentice Hall.
• Seligman, M.E.P. & Maier, S.F. (1967). Failure to escape traumatic shock. Journal of Experimental Psychology, 74(1), 1–9.
• Seligman, M.E.P. (1990). Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Knopf.
• Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. Viking Penguin.
• Psychology Today. Neuroplasticity. psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroplasticity
• Harvard Health Publishing. Grief can hurt — in more ways than one. health.harvard.edu
• NIH/NCBI StatPearls. Grief and Prolonged Grief Disorder. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507832

About Really, Universe?

Really, Universe? is for anyone who has ever looked at their life and thought — is this really it? Hosted by Mari Peck — someone who has survived more plot twists than seems statistically reasonable and decided to stop keeping the lessons to herself — each episode combines honest personal storytelling with real research to help you understand why you’re stuck, what it actually costs to change, and how to keep going anyway. Honest. Research-backed. And occasionally — when the Universe particularly outdoes itself — a little bit funny. For anyone ready to stop living a life that no longer fits.

When your life falls apart, most people freeze. Some spiral. And then there’s a smaller group — the ones who get very still and start building a plan. What separates them isn’t luck, personality, or the absence of fear. It’s something you can actually learn.

In this episode, Mari Peck shares what happened when she received a breast cancer diagnosis at 59, alone in a new state, with no friends, family, job, or insurance. And what she did in the next 72 hours that changed everything.

This episode covers:

• Why 80% of people freeze in a crisis — and what the other group does differently
• Locus of control: the psychological concept that determines how you respond under pressure
• The Kübler-Ross stages of grief — and what most people get wrong about them
• David Kessler’s sixth stage: how finding meaning changes everything
• Four decisions that helped Mari navigate her diagnosis — and how to apply them to any crisis

Whether you’re in the middle of something hard right now or you want to be ready when it comes — this episode is for you.

Research & References

• Rotter, J.B. (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement. Psychological Monographs, 80(1).
• Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying. Macmillan.
• Kessler, D. (2019). Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Scribner.
• Achor, S. (2024). The Power of Beliefs. Harvard Business Review Press.
• NIH/NCBI StatPearls (2023). Kübler-Ross Stages of Dying and Subsequent Models of Grief. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507885
• BMC Psychiatry (2021). Locus of control moderates the association of COVID-19 stress and general mental distress. bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com
• Harvard Health Publishing. Exercise and cancer recovery. health.harvard.edu
• Mayo Clinic. Stress relief from laughter. mayoclinic.org
• Psychology Today (2020). Locus of Control and COVID-19. psychologytoday.com

About Really, Universe?

Really, Universe? is for anyone who has ever looked at their life and thought — is this really it? Hosted by Mari Peck — someone who has survived more plot twists than seems statistically reasonable and decided to stop keeping the lessons to herself — each episode combines honest personal storytelling with real research to help you understand why you’re stuck, what it actually costs to change, and how to keep going anyway. Honest. Research-backed. And occasionally — when the Universe particularly outdoes itself — a little bit funny. For anyone ready to stop living a life that no longer fits.

This is a 2 minute intro to the channel. Want to learn more about what Really, Universe? is all about? Start here.