Épisodes

  • Why Boys Are Falling Behind (and What We Can Do About It) with Steve Biddulph

    Why Boys Are Falling Behind (and What We Can Do About It) with Steve Biddulph
    Feb 4 2026
    In this episode, Shaun Dawson sits down with Steve Biddulph, a world-renowned psychologist, educator, and author of the global bestsellers Raising Boys and The New Manhood. With over three decades of experience, Steve explores the "quiet crisis" facing boys today—from school environments that disadvantage their slower biological development to a digital landscape that is rewriting the rules of adolescence. This conversation is a roadmap for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy sons of character, courage, and conviction.Key TakeawaysThe Biological Development Gap: Testosterone in the womb slows male development; by the time boys reach school age, they are often 6 to 12 months behind girls in speech and fine motor skills.The Case for "Holding Back": Many boys benefit significantly from starting school one year later, allowing them to match the maturity of their female peers and avoid a lifelong trajectory of restlessness and academic discouragement.Mirror Learning & Masculine Virtues: Qualities like patience and kindness are "caught, not taught." Boys need thousands of hours of male company to absorb these complex, nonverbal skills through their nervous systems.Combating Digital Miseducation: Parents must actively counter the harmful "algorithmic" effects of social media and the "miseducation" of pornography by setting firm boundaries—such as no devices in bedrooms and supporting under-16 social media bans.The Father as a Safety Anchor: A father’s most important role is to be a "safety go-to guy". True strength lies in a father’s ability to manage his own strong feelings so his son never feels the need to protect himself from his own father.Quotes "You give a man the right help, he will turn around.""I made sure he knew what a good man looked like because you can't turn into one if you've never seen one." (Quoting a single mother’s wisdom on role models)"A good kid is a still kid... but his body's screaming." (On the physical difficulty boys face sitting at desks in traditional classrooms)Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — “That Book Saved My Life”00:34 — The Quiet Crisis Facing Boys01:12 — Meet Steve Biddulph01:56 — The Family Therapy Breakthrough03:59 — Fathers Who Loved but Couldn’t Connect4:47 — Personal Grief and the Awakening06:11 — When Men Don’t Know How to Support Each Other07:28 — Why Boys Start School at a Disadvantage08:26 — Testosterone Slows Male Development09:45 — Boys Are Born Vulnerable10:38 — A One-Year Developmental Gap11:55 — Language, Fine Motor Skills, and Shame12:28 — “Just Hold Him Back a Year”13:33 — Sean’s Story: Skipped Grades and Silent Anxiety15:30 — The Power of Repeating a Year16:23 — When Big Bodies Create Unrealistic Expectations17:44 — How Boys’ Bodies Develop18:28 — “Move Me”19:29 — What Boy-Friendly Schools Do Differently20:58 — Father Absence and Modern Reality21:26 — Single Mothers Have Always Raised Good Men23:05 — “He Needs to See What a Good Man Looks Like”25:09 — Recruiting Male Role Models27:04 — Men Will Say Yes When Asked28:10 — What Makes a “Good Man”?29:18 — Patience Is a Physical Skill30:50 — Mirror Learning and Role Modelling31:46 — The Digital Wild West33:22 — Australia’s Under-16 Social Media Ban35:06 — Parenting Against the Herd36:55 — Talking to Kids About Pornography38:23 — Devices Out of Bedrooms39:40 — One Operating Principle for Raising Men40:23 — Hurt Creates Hurt41:00 — Be Your Child’s Safe Place41:51 — Final Reflections42:39 — Closing CreditsResources, Concepts, and Books MentionedRaising Boys in the 21st Century by Steve Biddulph https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Raising-Boys-in-the-21st-Century/Steve-Biddulph/9780648226734The New Manhood by Steve Biddulph https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-New-Manhood/Steve-Biddulph/9781760851156Iron John: A Book About Men by Robert Bly https://www.amazon.com/Iron-John-Book-About-Men/dp/0306813769Father Hunger / The Father Wound: The deep psychological impact of an absent or emotionally distant fatherMirror Learning: The process by which children absorb behaviors and emotional rhythms by observing role modelsCore Strength vs. Fine Motor Development: The biological difference where boys develop from the "core outwards," meaning finger control for writing often develops last.Heads Up Alliance: https://www.headsup.org.uk/ A movement encouraging school communities to delay giving children smartphones.Connect with Steve BiddulphWebsite: https://www.stevebiddulph.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stevebiddulphraisingboysRaising Girls community https://www.facebook.com/stevebiddulphraisinggirlsRaising Boys community https://www.facebook.com/pages/Steve-Biddulphs-Raising-Boys/673349469396922
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    43 min
  • Battles Before the Battlefield: Aaron Blaine on Becoming the Father He Never Had

    Battles Before the Battlefield: Aaron Blaine on Becoming the Father He Never Had
    Jan 28 2026
    Retired Green Beret and Wild Ops Box founder Aaron Blaine joins Raising Men to talk about the battles he faced long before combat — growing up fatherless, angry, and adrift — and how pain, discipline, and purpose forged him into the man and father he is today. In this conversation, Aaron and Shaun unpack lessons from military life, the transition back home, and the inner healing that led to his mission of helping fathers and sons reconnect through Wild Ops Box. From men’s circles and emotional breakthroughs to teaching his kids the power of boundaries, Aaron shows that leadership at home begins with self-awareness and serviceKey TakeawaysPain can be a catalyst for growth — our response determines whether it breaks us or builds us.Kids mirror our emotions — a calm home starts with calm parents.Boundaries are love — saying no teaches children self-respect and limits.Connection needs structure — rituals, shared experiences, and written family values keep a home aligned.Service above self — true masculinity means protecting, guiding, and serving before leading.Pull Quotes“You get to choose what it does to you. You get to choose how you react — that’s an active choice that can propel you forward.”“We make vows to our wives, but maybe we should make vows to our kids — that’s the most permanent relationship we’ll ever have.”“Discipline without direction is just control — but discipline with purpose changes lives.“Kids don’t care what we say; it’s what they see and feel us do that really matters.”Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — Leading From the Front at HomeWhy allowing kids to shape the vision of the household builds accountability and leadership.00:31 — From Fatherless to Green BeretAaron Blaine’s early life, losing his father, and the path that shaped his resilience.02:03 — Trauma as a Catalyst for GrowthHow pain, loss, and chaos became fuel instead of a life sentence.05:57 — Choosing Growth Over DestructionWhy adversity can either break you—or make you great.07:18 — Legacy Lives Beyond PresenceHow parents continue shaping us long after they’re gone.09:16 — Birth, Death, and the Urgency of TimeA powerful reflection on life’s brevity and what truly matters.11:11 — Service Above SelfWhy volunteering, slowing down, and gratitude change everything.13:00 — Redefining Wellness: Body, Mind, and SpiritWhy true health goes far beyond fitness.14:22 — What Becoming a Green Beret Teaches About DisciplineAutonomy, self-mastery, and learning to embrace discomfort.18:52 — Anger, Fatherhood, and Emotional RegulationHow Aaron learned to manage anger while raising young children.20:54 — The Men’s Group That Changed EverythingVulnerability, emotional awareness, and breaking lifelong patterns.23:32 — Kids Mirror Our EnergyWhy parents must regulate themselves before correcting behavior.25:12 — Guilt, Overcompensating, and BoundariesWhy saying “no” is part of being a good father.26:52 — Teaching Boundaries Is Teaching RespectHow limits help children navigate the real world.28:44 — Learning to Love the KetchupChoosing meaning over irritation in everyday parenting moments.30:39 — Discomfort as a SuperpowerWhy learning to embrace discomfort creates growth and resilience.33:13 — The Birth of Wild Ops BoxHow lost institutions inspired a modern solution for fathers and kids.35:18 — Leaving the Army and Losing IdentityThe hidden struggle many veterans face after service.37:43 — Survival Skills as a Path to ConnectionWhy outdoor education builds confidence and family bonds.40:04 — Betting on Purpose, Not EgoBuilding something meaningful without burning everything down.43:32 — A Father’s Proud MomentWhen Aaron’s son confidently joined an interview—and what it represented.45:19 — Becoming a Girl DadHow having a daughter softened and strengthened him at the same time.49:33 — Raising Boys vs. Raising GirlsMasculinity, protection, and emotional presence.52:51 — Vows to Your ChildrenWhy fathers should commit publicly to their kids, not just spouses.55:46 — Wild Ops Box as a Ritual, Not a ProductUsing skill-building to create meaningful family conversations.57:42 — Letting Kids Define Family ValuesWhy ownership creates accountability.58:49 — Connection vs. IndependenceHelping kids balance closeness with autonomy.01:01:59 — Modeling Matters More Than TeachingWhy kids follow what we do—not what we say.01:04:33 — A Message to Disconnected FathersStart with intention, presence, and small daily actions.01:06:45 — The Critical Window: Ages 7–14Why these years shape who children become.01:08:56 — When Kids Handle ConflictWhy parents sometimes need to step back.01:12:30 — Guidance Without ShameHow to correct behavior without damaging trust.01:16:07 — “Eat Last” as a Life PrincipleService, discipline, and modeling leadership at home.01:19:24 — Community, Responsibility, and LegacyWhy men must guide not just ...
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    1 h et 20 min
  • Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males with Jennifer L.W. Fink

    Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males with Jennifer L.W. Fink
    Jan 21 2026

    In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jennifer L.W. Fink—writer, nurse, mother of four boys, and author of Building Boys. Jennifer brings decades of lived experience and research to help us understand what boys really need: space, presence, and parents who see them as they truly are. Together, they explore why boys are often misunderstood, how parents can respond with calm instead of fear, and what it means to raise great guys in a world full of mixed messages.

    Topics Covered

    1. Developmental differences between boys and girls – Why boys aren’t behind or broken; they simply develop on a different timeline.
    2. Why boys are often misunderstood – From poop drawings to impulse-control moments, adults misinterpret normal development as misbehavior.
    3. Parenting through fear – How cultural narratives (MeToo era) cause parents to overreact to boy behavior.
    4. How to respond with connection – Curiosity over punishment; presence over panic.
    5. Healthy masculinity – Risk-taking, independence, protectiveness, physical play.
    6. Letting boys lead – Facilitating interests instead of rejecting them (e.g., Minecraft, gaming, tinkering). raising-men-podcast-recording-w…
    7. How parents can model calm leadership – High standards + connection = growth.
    8. Why boys disconnect – When they are shamed for their instincts, they stop trying.


    Pull Quotes

    “Look at the boy in front of you. Not the boy you fear he might become — the boy who’s here right now.”


    “Boys aren’t broken. They’re developing on a different timeline, and when we don’t understand that, they start believing they’re the problem.”


    “When boys feel like who they are is wrong, they check out. When they feel seen, they thrive.”


    Books, Ideas & Content Mentioned


    • Jennifer’s Website: jenniferlwfink.com
    • Story of his youngest son crawling around the bases https://buildingboys.substack.com/p/building-boys-bulletin-7-3-23
    • A recent post talking about some of the positive impacts of gaming https://buildingboys.substack.com/p/video-games-arent-bad-really
    • Jennifer's article about gaming: https://www.enttoday.org/article/from-video-game-controllers-to-ors-the-surprising-role-of-gaming-in-modern-medical-practices/
    • ON BOYS podcast, w 7 yrs worth of episodes & show notes https://www.on-boys-podcast.com/
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    58 min
  • How Storytelling Helps Us Raise Men with Paul Kix

    How Storytelling Helps Us Raise Men with Paul Kix
    Jan 14 2026

    Paul Kix built a career telling powerful human stories—from ESPN to bestselling books. But becoming a father pushed him to rewrite the narrative of masculinity itself. In this conversation, Paul shares what he’s learned about raising boys to be strong and gentle, confident and vulnerable. We go deep on identity, authenticity, inner courage, and why sometimes the bravest thing a dad can do is admit he doesn’t have all the answers.

    Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

    • Masculinity must include kindness, empathy, and emotional presence, not just strength.
    • Modeling repair, not perfection — kids learn by watching how we handle mistakes.
    • Vulnerability is true tensile strength — like bridges built to flex without breaking.
    • Therapy, reflection, and emotional self-awareness are part of modern fatherhood.
    • Raising biracial sons means helping them define identity from the inside out, not from labels society imposes.
    • Saying no to broken systems (raffles, rewards, status pressure) teaches kids integrity and independence.
    • Authentic storytelling builds connection — peers relate more to flaws than achievements.
    • Reinvention is possible — pivot your skillset instead of clinging to dying industries.
    • Courage = pushing past fear while staying grounded through reflection and spiritual guidance.

    Pull Quotes

    “If all you do is project strength, you become brittle. Vulnerability is what keeps you from breaking.”


    “We connect more to each other’s flaws than to each other’s victories.”


    “Remember that the kingdom of God is within you — live out the purpose planted inside.”


    Timestamps / Chapter Markers

    • 00:22 Official Introduction (Introducing Paul Kix, journalist and author)
    • 00:54 Storytelling and the Narrative of Fatherhood (Holistic masculinity, kindness, and modeling repair)
    • 02:44 Pivoting to Partner: A Wife's Need
    • 04:20 From Farmer to Modern Man (Embracing therapy and vulnerability)
    • 07:51 The Tensile Strength of Bridges (Flexibility vs. brittle tension)
    • 11:21 Performative vs. Quiet Confidence (The ultimate flex: Barry Sanders)
    • 14:55 Reinventing Career After Corporate Media (Starting the newsletter/digital course)
    • 20:29 Staring Down Fear and Catastrophizing (The path to true self)
    • 24:05 The Power of Authenticity and Chronicling Flaws (Finding "the gripe")
    • 28:34 Raising Biracial Sons (Identity, the "one-drop rule," and the shift in discourse)
    • 35:36 The School Fundraiser Dilemma (Principled stand vs. bullying)
    • 38:57 Similar Stand in Little League (Questioning the raffle)
    • 44:36 The Decision: Legoland and Life Lessons (Minimizing hardship)
    • 46:58 Kids Absorb What You Do (Henson quote)
    • 47:51 One Principle for Raising Men (The Kingdom of God is within you)
    • 52:43 Closing Remarks

    Supporting Content

    • You Have to Be Prepared to Die Before You Can Begin to Live https://www.paul-kix.com/books
    • The Saboteur https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/533685/the-saboteur-by-paul-kix

    Paul’s Storytelling Newsletter (highly praised in the episode!) https://paulkix.substack.com/

    Storytelling Course: Storytelling You https://www.paul-kix.com/storytelling-you

    https://www.storytellingyoukickstarter.com/


    Other references

    • Brooklyn Bridge tensile strength metaphor (via therapist)
    • Ralph Waldo Emerson on purpose & self-trust
    • Luke 17: “The kingdom of God is within you”
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    54 min
  • The Imperative Habit of Raising Conscious Young Men with Dave Rossi

    The Imperative Habit of Raising Conscious Young Men with Dave Rossi
    Jan 7 2026
    A deep dive into how Dave Rossi — entrepreneur turned mindfulness teacher and author of The Imperative Habit — reframes success, presence, and internal awareness for parents raising boys today. This episode explores how achievement culture shapes a boy’s identity, why inner peace matters more than winning, and how small daily rituals can help boys grow into grounded, self-aware young men. Dave brings practical habits, consciousness principles, and real-life insights that help families shift from performance to presence. Key Takeaways / Topics CoveredSpiritual vs. Animal Self – We all have two modes: survival-driven instincts (fear, jealousy, scarcity) vs. conscious choice anchored in logic and values. Growth is choosing the latter.Competition Should Elevate Everyone – When competition becomes about defeating others, it becomes poison — true winning is improving yourself.Model Courage, Not Control – Kids internalize what they see far more than what they are told. Demonstrate discipline, resilience, and presence. Treat Kids as Equals – Respect their autonomy; give information and let them choose, even when that means allowing struggle. Praise Courage Over Achievement – Strength is facing internal resistance — physical or emotional. That’s what creates self-mastery.Avoid Shame as a Motivator – Shame never produces growth. Pausing to reflect before reacting is a spiritual act.Suffering Has a Purpose – Often pain is the catalyst for transformation and discovering one’s true path. raising-men-podcast-recording-w…Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:44 (Introducing Dave Rossi, entrepreneur and author)01:14 The Fixed Pie vs. Variable Pie Mentality(Competition and abundance)03:09 The Squirrel Nut Theory(Hoarding vs. Spiritual Power)05:31 Redefining Winning(Improving from the experience vs. prevailing)06:40 The Paradox of Animal vs. Spirit(Cognition over instinct)07:53 Spiritual Self-Mastery(Mind over body signals)10:48 The Running Challenge(Cultivating mental override in a 6-year-old)12:42 The Spiritual Principle of Equality(Treating your son like a client/boss)14:26 Empowerment and the 40% Capacity Rule(Letting him choose the push)17:30 The Dangers of Parental Attachment and Shame(The need for his choice)19:52 Modeled Behavior as the Most Powerful Influence20:25 The Reflex to Shame and the Spiritual Act of Withdrawal23:14 The Two Brains: Conan vs. Sherlock Holmes24:26 Emotional Biometrics and the Sabre-Toothed Tiger26:30 Overcoming Programmed Fear(The bridge jumping example)28:55 Unconventional Parenting: Letting a Teenager Choose Risk31:22 Accountability and Acceptance of Consequences(The ADD example)33:45 Coping with Extreme Behavior(Addiction, empathy vs. compassion)37:04 The Lesson of Suffering(Letting a child hit rock bottom)41:19 The New Book on Healthy Masculinity(Shedding archetypes and masking)44:11 The Strength of Vulnerability(The boxer analogy)47:20 Building Muscle Memory(Behaving the way you want to be)48:01 Nietzsche and the Ubermensch(The tightrope walk to self-mastery)50:35 Cultivating Courage and Awareness(Praising courage over achievement)52:41 One Principle: Treat Your Children Like Equals54:19 Closing RemarksSupporting ContentBooks by Dave Rossi:The Imperative Habit: 7 Non-Spiritual Practices Towards Spiritual BehaviorAlphas Die Early (upcoming/new release mentioned in the podcast)Website: DaveRossiGlobal.comRelated books mentioned in the episode: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklJourney of Souls by Michael NewtonBookThe Imperative Habit: 7 Non-Spiritual Practices Towards Spiritual Behaviourhttps://bookshop.org/p/books/imperative-habit-7-non-spiritual-practices-towards-spiritual-behavior-for-happiness-health-love-and-success-dave-rossi/af5d3267632de76fKey Ideas from the Book (w/ Sources)Dave teaches seven non-spiritual habits that build spiritual behavior rooted in presence and self-awareness.https://bradkearns.com/dave-rossi-consciousness-spirituality-finding-happiness-from-within-and-what-brads-hiding-from-the-listening-audience/Examples include:Accept what is (Habit #1)Do not fear outcomes (Habit #2)Happiness as a state of being, not emotion https://bradkearns.com/dave-rossi-consciousness-spirituality-finding-happiness-from-within-and-what-brads-hiding-from-the-listening-audience/Dave’s personal story: multimillion-dollar entrepreneur who felt empty, leading to collapse, rebuilding, and inner discovery. https://theimperativehabit.comBlog theme: true happiness is internal; most people chase external validation unaware their “compass” is miscalibrated. https://www.daverossiglobal.com/public/learn/how-did-i-get-here/
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    55 min
  • Lessons in Leadership, Tech, and Letting Go with Damian Gomes

    Lessons in Leadership, Tech, and Letting Go with Damian Gomes
    Dec 31 2025
    In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Damian Gomes — a father, technologist, and long-time Scout leader — to explore what it means to raise two sons who couldn’t be more different. From leading Boy Scouts and teaching leadership through failure to navigating remote schooling during the pandemic, Damian shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of modern fatherhood. One son thrived in self-paced learning and now builds AI systems with his dad; the other is still discovering his path through art and curiosity. Together, they reflect on letting kids fail safely, adapting parenting styles, and staying conscious and present even when patience runs thin.Key Takeaways / Topics CoveredLeadership Is Learned Through Chaos: Scouting teaches “storming, norming, performing” — a real-world model for how boys (and adults) learn to lead, adapt, and collaborate through trial and error.Independence Requires Letting Go: Damian’s older son thrived once school became self-paced. The hardest part was letting him fail, fall behind, and figure it out without rescuing him too early.Parent Each Child Differently: What worked for one son — freedom and code — failed for the other. Fatherhood isn’t a formula; it’s an evolving experiment in empathy and adaptation.Redefining Education and Failure: Damian learned that the goal of learning isn’t perfection but persistence. Retaking a failed quiz became a metaphor for life — you haven’t failed until you stop trying.Conscious Fatherhood Is a Daily Practice: His guiding principle: staying self-aware enough to choose a new reaction rather than repeating old patterns. That pause — between emotion and response — is where growth happens.Pull Quotes“You’re not just building automation systems — you’re helping two young men find their own operating systems for life.” — Shaun Dawson“If you give them the plan, what are they learning? Let them carry on tradition by word of mouth — that’s where the leadership happens.” — Damian Gomes“I’d rather my sons fail at home, with us around to help them, than discover they don’t have the skills later when it really matters.” — Damian Gomes00:35 Official Introduction01:41 Involvement and Value in Boy Scouts03:51 Cubmaster to Scout Leader: The Transition05:37 "Storming, Norming, and Performing" in Leadership09:52 Scouting's Offer to Modern Boys14:44 Contrived Structure for Organic Skills16:52 The Value of Inventing the Solution17:47 Doubling Down on Scouting During Challenges21:39 The Pandemic's Impact on Family Dynamics24:33 The Shift to Self-Paced Virtual Learning27:40 Rethinking Failure and Retaking Tests30:13 Homeschooling vs. Virtual School Decisions32:38 The Older Son's Success Story37:03 The Hardest Part: Allowing for Failure38:55 The Younger Son's Struggle for Structure42:26 The Future of Learning43:08 Hopes for Sons' Memories45:08 One Principle for Raising Men47:35 Closing RemarksSupporting ContentOrganizations & ConceptsBoy Scouts of America – emphasizing youth leadership and structured independence.YPT (Youth Protection Training) – mandatory training for all Scout leaders.EDGE Method – Explain, Demonstrate, Guide, Enable — a Scouting framework for mentorship and teaching.Education & TechFlorida Virtual School – one of the first large-scale online K–12 programs mentioned in the episode.Duval Virtual Instruction Academy – Damian’s local district’s virtual learning platform.Automation Watchdog – Damian and his son’s company, building systems that verify automation and AI performance.Mark Rober’s YouTube Channel – inspiration for Damian’s younger son’s curiosity in science and engineering.Open Source Software Movement – central to his son’s learning and development path.Books & Ideas“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck – on learning through growth and persistence.“The Conscious Parent” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary – echoes Damian’s principle of awareness and conscious parenting.“The Scoutmaster’s Other Handbook” by Mark A. Ray – practical modern guide to leadership and youth development through Scouting.
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    48 min
  • The Psychology of Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys with Dr. Daniel Singley

    The Psychology of Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys with Dr. Daniel Singley
    Dec 24 2025
    In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Dr. Daniel Singley—founder of The Center for Men’s Excellence and creator of MenExcel—joins Shaun to unpack what it really means to raise emotionally healthy boys in a rapidly changing world. Together, they explore how traditional models of masculinity can evolve without abandoning strength, why fatherhood is the “tip of the spear” for redefining what it means to be a man, and how dads can model emotional resilience and connection in everyday life.Dr. Singley shares evidence-based insights on the transition from “dude to dad,” the power of emotional flexibility, and the importance of community for fathers. This episode is a practical and deeply human look at how we can raise sons—and become men—of both heart and strength.Key Takeaways / Topics Covered1. Masculinity isn’t under attack—it’s under construction. Healthy masculinity requires flexibility, not rigidity; the ability to be strong in some contexts and empathetic in others.2. Fatherhood is the frontline of modern manhood. Early involvement during pregnancy and infancy predicts stronger emotional connection, better outcomes for children, and greater well-being for fathers.3. Emotional literacy is courage, not weakness. When fathers model emotional awareness—naming their feelings, owning their mistakes—they teach their sons that vulnerability is strength.4. Community is critical for men’s mental health. Isolation is as damaging as smoking a pack a day; fathers need intentional friendships and spaces to be honest with other dads.5. Kindness is strength. Dr. Singley’s parting message: “Have the strength to be kind”—because cruelty often stems from fear, and choosing compassion is an act of real courage.Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 Introduction: Cultivating Strength and Sensitivity in Raising Boys01:18 Dr. Singley's Journey: Why Study the Psychology of Men and Fatherhood?03:08 The Consequence of Ignoring Cisgender Masculinity in Academia05:33 The Rising Tide: Empowering Men and Boys Doesn't Harm Other Genders06:55 Is Masculinity a Problem? Under Attack or Under Construction?07:54 The Core Issue: Rigidity in Traditional Masculine Roles09:11 The Benefits of Flexibility: Longevity, Relationships, and Mental Health10:45 Addressing the Pushback: The "Pussification" of the American Male13:43 Finding a Balanced Vision: Serving Yourself vs. Holding Yourself Back16:39 Workplace Benefits of Balanced Masculinity (Strengths with Heart)18:22 The "Fair Play" Card Exercise and Its Role in Domestic Roles20:21 Early Fatherhood: Why It's the "Tip of the Spear" for Contemporary Masculinity23:46 Fatherhood as an Opportunity to Cultivate Caregiving Muscles25:40 Key Predictors for Father Involvement: Pregnancy and Co-Parent Support27:48 The Vicious/Virtuous Cycle of Co-Parenting Support29:04 Shaun's Story: The "No Divorce for a Year" Deal31:17 Shaun's Story: Catching Inflexibility in Action (Kissing His Son)32:22 Equating Physicality with Sexuality (and Its Impact on Parenting)34:10 Parenting with Intention: Be Thoughtful, Not on Autopilot36:24 Practical Tools: The 10-Year Vision and Modeling Behavior38:20 The Greatest Gift: Owning Mistakes and Naming Underlying Emotions41:30 Upgrading Your OS: Why Flexibility is Essential for Modern Men42:59 Navigating the Extremes: The Paradox of Ideological Purity47:10 Reflections on Fatherhood: What Dr. Singley Did Right49:27 The One Step: Overcoming Isolation and Building Community51:13 The Hidden Danger: Loneliness and the Anxiety of "Bro-Dating"54:41 Closing Principle: Have the Strength to Be Kind56:16 Outro and ConclusionSupporting Content & ReferencesCenter for Men’s Excellence – Dr. Singley’s organization focused on men’s mental health and father-inclusive psychology https://www.menexcel.comAmerican Psychological Association, Division 51: Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity https://www.apa.org/about/division/div51Fair Play by Eve Rodsky – referenced for practical tools in balancing domestic roles https://www.fairplaylife.comStrengths with Heart by Tom Rath (referenced in discussion on leadership and empathy) https://www.strengthswithheart.comUS Surgeon General’s Report on Loneliness and Social Isolation (2023) – cited in Dr. Singley’s point about community and health https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/loneliness/index.html
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    57 min
  • Real Talk on Fatherhood, Marriage, and Mayhem with Sean Harvey

    Real Talk on Fatherhood, Marriage, and Mayhem with Sean Harvey
    Dec 17 2025

    In Part Two, Sean reflects on losing his stepfather and guiding his sons through grief, legacy, and growth. He shares stories of finding laughter in pain, of writing a eulogy that helped him truly understand the man who raised him, and of passing those lessons forward. Together, Shaun and Sean unpack how fathers can model empathy, resilience, and strength through vulnerability—and why raising sons of character starts with being honest about our own humanity.

    Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

    1. Grief is a teacher — How fathers can lead their families through loss with honesty and calm strength.
    2. Model before you teach — Kids copy what they see; your actions are the real lesson.
    3. Empathy is legacy — Raising sons who choose kindness and courage in a noisy world.
    4. Humor heals — Laughter and humility are part of resilience.
    5. Love is conditional in effort, not worth — Sean reminds that love is deep, but accountability still matters.
    “You just have to try—that’s fatherhood. Trying, failing, and trying again.” —
    Sean Harvey


    “Whatever they see you do—that’s who they’ll become.” —
    Shaun Dawson


    “Life’s too short to ruin someone else’s day. It feels better to make it better.” —
    Sean Harvey


    “I don’t do unconditional love in behavior. You’ve still got to do right by people.” —
    Sean Harvey


    Supporting Content

    • The Kids Are Sleep podcast: https://thekidsaresleeppod.com/
    • Instagram (Sean): https://www.instagram.com/therealseanharvey/

    Timestamps / Chapter Markers

    00:00 Cultivating Understanding: Communicating Why We Push Our Kids (The Right-Hand Layup)
    03:22 The Challenge of Independence: Figuring Out the "Redo" for the Second Child
    05:46 The Genetics and The Goals: Tall Parents, Athletic Potential, and Non-Athletic Kids
    09:22The Asset vs. Liability: Getting Young Girls into Sports
    11:24 The Specialization Trap: Dealing with Pressure from Club Sports
    14:34 Courage in Vulnerability: What Motivates Sharing the "Messy Life" of Parenting
    17:07 The Identity Shift: From Political Satire/Rapper to Public Fatherhood
    21:28 The Strength of Vulnerability: The Castle Metaphor and Letting People In
    23:31 The True Measure of Success: How Well Kids Do Once They Leave
    24:20 Values to Instill: Hard Work, Compassion, and Conditional Love
    26:49 Managing the Tension: Unconditional Love vs. Raising Independent Adults
    28:22 The "College Hair" Conversation: Comforting Kids vs. Facing Reality
    30:10 Advice for Failing Dads: Keep Trying, Keep Failing (The Road to Excellence)
    31:54 The Difficult Talk: Using Chess to Broach Uncomfortable Topics with His Son
    34:00 The Most Important Example: Showing Sons How to Love and Respect Their Mother
    35:51 Excellence is Failure: Why You Must Embrace Continuous Failure in Fatherhood
    37:42 The Core Principle: How to Raise Powerful, Compassionate Men – "Don't Be a Dick"
    40:03 The Power of Childhood Humiliation: A Puddle of Pee and the Iconoclastic Path
    43:10 The Ripple Effect: Why Good Deeds and Positivity are the True Source of Empowerment
    45:20 Breaking the Cycle: Not Raising Kids Who "Were Raised by a Dick"
    47:35 The Small Act of Kindness: The Calculus of Holding a Door
    49:26 Conclusion: The Value of a Mother's Love and Early Loss
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    53 min