In this compelling episode, we sit down with Dr. Jill Manning, a leading expert in betrayal trauma whose groundbreaking research has brought critical awareness to the emotional toll of pornography use within intimate relationships. She shares her journey into this deeply personal and often misunderstood field, shedding light on the unique dynamics of betrayal trauma and its profound impact on partners and marriages.

We’ll discuss valuable insights into the most important findings from her work, common misconceptions that hinder healing, and the often-overlooked emotional responses betrayed partners experience. We explore therapeutic separation, cycles of distrust, and practical steps for fostering healing—both individually and as a couple.

Whether you're a clinician, spiritual leader, or someone walking the path of recovery, this episode offers both clarity and compassion. Join us for a powerful conversation that aims to restore hope, support deeper understanding, and encourage lasting healing after betrayal.

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In this essential episode, we dive into a candid conversation about the role of pastors and church leaders in responding to sexual addiction and betrayal trauma within their communities. Many leaders feel illequipped—or even fearful—of “getting it wrong” when someone discloses their pain.

Our guest, Dr. Barbara Steffens, offers practical wisdom on how pastors can take meaningful first steps, create shame-free environments, and offer spiritual care without needing to be counselors or experts. We explore common missteps leaders make, how to respond with grace when harmful advice is being given, and what it means to walk in both truth and compassion.

For those seeking to make their churches proactive rather than reactive, this conversation casts a vision for what safe, healing spaces can look like—where both individuals and couples impacted by sexual brokenness can find support, truth, and lasting hope. Whether you're a pastor, ministry leader, or a concerned member of your church, this episode is packed with clarity, encouragement, and next steps.

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In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore the hidden struggles pastors often face—and why many suffer in silence. Our guest, Cal Rychener, unpacks the key barriers that keep church leaders from seeking help, including fear, shame, and unrealistic expectations. We look at the dangerous impact unaddressed struggles can have on both the pastor and the church, and the steps leadership can take to build a culture of proactive care and support.

Through real-life stories of pastors who finally reached out, we see the power of grace, community, and trusted resources—like those from Pure Desire—to bring healing and restoration. This episode also casts a hopeful vision for what a truly healthy church looks like: one that cares well for its leaders.

If you’re a pastor, church staff member, or simply someone who wants to support your leaders better, this conversation offers both challenge and encouragement.

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Boulder Recovery

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In this special episode, Nick Stumbo and Ashley Jameson sit down to share the heart behind their new book, Hope, Healing, and Freedom. Written from their own journeys through pornography addiction and betrayal trauma, this book offers a deeply personal yet practical roadmap toward lasting recovery.

They discuss why telling their story together matters, the reasons pornography has become such a widespread issue—even in the church—and how common misconceptions continue to keep people stuck in silence. Nick and Ashley unpack key concepts like connection vs. sobriety, the impact of betrayal trauma, and why quitting porn requires more than just willpower.

With insights from both biblical truth and brain science, they highlight the kind of support and understanding both strugglers and spouses truly need. Whether you're on the road to recovery or walking with someone who is, this conversation offers powerful encouragement, real hope, and a vision for true freedom.

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In this vital and eye-opening episode, we speak with Hannah Ashwell from QuitPorn Faith about the complex, often misunderstood topic of sex addiction within the Church—especially when it involves individuals who have offended or are at risk of offending. Hannah shares the most common misconceptions churches hold and how these can hinder true healing and safety.

We explore how faith communities can create cultures of openness and accountability while implementing essential safeguarding protocols to protect everyone. Drawing from real-world experience, Hannah offers insight into how churches can balance grace with responsibility, and restoration with necessary boundaries. From practical next steps when someone discloses illegal behavior to examples of churches walking this difficult path well, this conversation provides both courage and clarity.

For leaders who feel overwhelmed by the weight of these issues, Hannah offers hope: with the right tools and heart posture, churches can be places of redemption and protection.

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In the raw aftermath of betrayal, survival mode often takes over—leaving clarity and stability out of reach. In this episode, Eileen Fagan shares the three critical tools every betrayed spouse needs to integrate quickly in the early days post-discovery. We explore why these tools matter, what “integration” looks like when trauma is fresh, and how they can offer safety and emotional grounding even when everything feels shattered.

Eileen addresses common misunderstandings about a betrayed partner’s immediate needs and gently walks us through how these tools can shift someone from panic or paralysis to empowerment and self-regulation. We also discuss common barriers to using the tools, how to layer them with care, and the difference they make long-term.

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The day of discovery—when a partner finds out their spouse has been viewing porn—can feel like emotional devastation. In this powerful episode, we dive into the six most important steps betrayed partners should take in the aftermath, including reaching out for support, setting healthy boundaries, and allowing space for emotional chaos.

Our guest, Heather Kolb, sheds light on why the pain of discovery runs so deep, how to create a Safety Action Plan, and how betrayed partners can seek truth and healing without falling into shame or isolation. We also explore why rushing to reconciliation may do more harm than good and what to do when the struggling spouse refuses to seek help.

Whether you're in the early stages of betrayal trauma or walking alongside someone who is, this conversation offers grounding guidance, honest insight, and hope for healing. You are not alone, and your healing matters—starting today.

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The first 60 days after discovery or disclosure are some of the most overwhelming—and critical—moments in the recovery journey. In this episode, we unpack why this window matters so much and how to navigate it with clarity and purpose.

Our guest and clinician for Pure Desire, Josh Andrew, shares the top three tools every individual should begin using right away: the Recovery Action Plan, the Escape Plan, and the Three Circles. You'll learn how these tools help calm the chaos, provide direction, and interrupt destructive patterns before they take over. We walk through practical first steps for each, offering guidance that’s simple, actionable, and effective—even in crisis.

Whether you’re just starting recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers hope and structure for the days ahead.

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