You’re doing everything you can, and yet you feel like you’re failing as a parent… Believe me, you’re not alone, and today, I’d even like to offer you a change of perspective: What if you’ve been giving the wrong job description as a parent?

You might believe your role is to keep your kids happy, safe, and “on track.” And when it inevitably becomes clear that you don’t have any control over this during the teen years, the shame comes creeping in fast, right? You start questioning every decision, every boundary, every reaction, and it can leave you feeling like a failing parent, even when you’re trying harder than ever.

In this conversation, I’m joined by life coach and fellow parent Jessica Stewart, who names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: parents were given the wrong job description. Together, we explore why fix-it mode is so tempting, why it often backfires, and what actually helps when parenting a struggling teen starts to feel overwhelming.

This episode is an invitation to step out of fear-based parenting, loosen your grip on control, and refocus on the only place you truly have influence: yourself. If you’re exhausted, discouraged, or quietly wondering if you’re messing everything up, tune in, I recorded this one for you.

In this episode on feeling like you’re failing as a parent, we discuss:

• Why so many parents feel like failures, especially during the teen years;
• How the “fix-it” and rescue mindset keeps parents stuck;
• What it really means to let go without giving up;
• A healthier parenting “job description” that actually works;
• How connection, acceptance, love, and emotional regulation change everything in your family;
• Why focusing on your own behavior is the most powerful parenting move you can make;
• And more.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

More about Jessica Stewart

Jessica Stewart is a certified Life Coach, Respiratory Therapist, Certified Tobacco Educator, and host of the podcast The Teen Years Toolkit For Moms. Having raised two teenage sons of her own, she now helps parents of teenagers understand how their own emotional management is the best tool for raising teens. She is currently accepting clients for her 1:1 coaching practice.

You can connect with Jessica on her website, find her on Instagram or Facebook, or reach out at Jessicastewartcoach@gmail.com.

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Leaving a review

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And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Recently, we lost a dear friend to suicide. One of my son’s best friends, who had become a part of our family. This is a tender and deeply personal conversation in which Seth and I talk about the loss of a young man who mattered deeply to our family, and what witnessing his death taught me about struggling teens, their ‘yellow’ or ‘red friends’, pain, and connection.

This is not an easy conversation. There are tears. There is grief. And there is also something profoundly important here for parents of struggling teens. What I witnessed in the aftermath of this loss changed me. It expanded my understanding of how much we miss when we focus only on behavior, substance use, or “bad choices,” without seeing the pain and connection underneath.

As parents, it’s natural to lock in on what scares us most: the drugs, the risk-taking, the behaviors that feel dangerous or out of control. But when we do that, we often miss the deeper story. We miss the love these kids have for one another. We miss the ways they show up for each other. And sometimes, we miss opportunities to be part of what keeps them alive.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, soften your lens, and look beyond behavior. It’s a reminder that healing happens in relationships, and that connection, empathy, and support matter more than we often realize.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What I witnessed after someone close to my family died by suicide, and how it changed me;
• Why focusing only on behavior can blind us to what our teens are really experiencing;
• The powerful sense of connection and care teens often have for one another;
• How substance use can mask deeper pain, grief, and unmet needs;
• What it looks like to see teens, and their friends, as whole humans, not just problems to fix.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Learning to let go is one of the hardest but most necessary parts of parenting a struggling teen, especially when your child’s behaviors feel frightening, confusing, and completely out of your control.

In this episode, I’m joined again by Michelle, a mom who has walked a long, painful, and ultimately transformative path with her daughter, who was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Together, we talk honestly about what it looks like to parent through intense fear, misdiagnosis, shame, and the overwhelming urge to control in order to keep your child alive.

Michelle shares what it was like before she understood her daughter’s mental health struggles, when substance use, self-harm, and suicidality felt like “bad choices” instead of symptoms, and how that misunderstanding led to extreme lockdowns that, in hindsight, caused more harm than healing. She also opens up about the guilt that followed, and how she learned to meet herself with compassion instead of self-blame.

This is a deep conversation about parenting a struggling teen when fear drives your decisions, and how letting go doesn’t mean giving up. Instead, it means changing how you show up. Michelle reflects on learning new ways to communicate, recognizing when “help” is actually invalidating, and managing the anxiety that comes with giving your teen or young adult more independence.

If you’ve ever felt consumed by fear around your struggling teen’s behavior, obsessed with keeping your child safe, or unsure where your responsibility ends and theirs begins, this episode is for you.

In this episode on learning to let go, we discuss:

• What it feels like to parent before you understand your child’s mental health diagnosis;
• How fear can lead to control, and why control often backfires;
• Letting go of the belief that you can save your teen’s life;
• The difference between supporting your child and managing your own anxiety;
• How certain “helpful” behaviors (like constant checking or cheerleading) can be invalidating;
• Practical tools for responding to fear without letting it run the show;
• Learning new ways to communicate that build trust and self-advocacy in your teen or young adult child;
• Redefining your role as your teen becomes a young adult;
• And more!

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.