Épisodes

  • Never Have I Had the Urge… To Be a Person of Interest | A True Crime Investigation Story
    Feb 28 2026

    Hey There - thanks for reaching out to Never Have I had the Urge. Your message is safe with me. I read every note, even if I can't respond to each one personally.

    In 1896 New York City, investigators began exploring a radical idea — that crime is not chaos, but pattern. More than a century later in Raleigh, North Carolina, that same principle would ripple through a small church community after a shocking 2006 restaurant murder left police searching for answers.


    In this long-form true crime episode of Never Have I Had the Urge, Victor explores what it truly means to become a “person of interest.” When law enforcement begins narrowing the circle in a homicide investigation, proximity becomes everything. Timelines matter. Decisions matter. And sometimes doing the right thing does not shield you from scrutiny.


    Blending historical context inspired by The Alienist, modern investigative process, and a deeply personal account of how suspicion can spread through grief-stricken communities, this episode examines:


    • How homicide investigations actually work

    • The real meaning of “person of interest”

    • Criminal profiling and pattern recognition

    • Forensic ballistics and evidence elimination

    • The psychological impact of being questioned by police

    • How trauma can linger long after a case is closed


    This is not a story about accusation. It is a story about process, proximity, grief, and the emotional weight of scrutiny — even after the truth is uncovered.


    Never Have I Had the Urge… To Be a Person of Interest.

    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    13 min
  • Never Have I Had the Urge...To Go Digging
    Feb 17 2026

    Hey There - thanks for reaching out to Never Have I had the Urge. Your message is safe with me. I read every note, even if I can't respond to each one personally.

    In this episode, I explore the quiet urge to go digging - into old memories, old conversations, old chapters that may have been better left closed.

    Sometimes we believe we're searching for clarity, sometimes we're searching for the truth. Sometimes we're searching for closure. But what if digging only uncovers things we were never meant to find?

    "Never Have I had the Urge... To Go Digging" is a reflection on restraint, curiosity, and the discipline of leaving certain doors unopened.


    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    11 min
  • To Find Comfort in Dysfunction
    Jan 19 2026

    “Hey there — thanks for reaching out to Never Have I Had the Urge! Your message is safe with me. Can’t wait to read your story.”

    In this episode, I reflect on something that’s easy to overlook when it’s all you’ve ever known — the quiet ways dysfunction can start to feel familiar… even comforting.

    I talk about how we learn to live inside patterns that no longer serve us, how chaos can disguise itself as normal, and how recognizing those patterns isn’t about blame — it’s about awareness.

    This episode isn’t a judgment.
    It’s a pause.
    A moment to ask why certain things feel safe, even when they hurt.

    Because sometimes, the hardest urge to confront
    is the urge to stay.

    🎧 Never Have I Had the Urge is a one-man storytelling podcast about reflection, restraint, and the quiet choices that shape who we become.

    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    35 min
  • Never Have I Had the Urge...To Get Married
    Jan 1 2026

    “Hey there — thanks for reaching out to Never Have I Had the Urge! Your message is safe with me. Can’t wait to read your story.”

    For most people, marriage can be a milestone in life. It offers many beautiful opportunities. For others, it's something worth pausing to explore before taking that walk down the aisle.

    In this episode, I take a reflective look at marriage - where it began, how it evolved, and what it has come to represent today. From survival and structure, to religion and tradition, to modern expectations shaped by culture, media, and the state.

    This isn't an argument against marriage. It's an honest conversation about choice, intention, and why - after a lifetime of relationships, observation, and reflection - I've never felt the urge to get married.

    Whether marriage is part of your story or not, this episode invites you to slow down, think critically, and decide what commitment really means to you.

    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    17 min
  • Never Have I Had the Urge...to Look Back
    Dec 24 2025

    “Hey there — thanks for reaching out to Never Have I Had the Urge! Your message is safe with me. Can’t wait to read your story.”

    Before moving forward, I wanted to pause.

    This episode is a reflection on the first season of Never Have I Had the Urge—not as a recap, but as a conversation with who I was when these stories were recorded.

    We walk through reflection, gratitude, learning, and hope, revisiting the moments that shaped the beginning of this podcast. From taking the leap to start, to recognizing the shared humanity in everyday urges, to learning what doubt can teach us, and finally to the perspective that comes from survival and hope.

    This episode also includes the original pilot episode in its entirety—the place where this journey began.

    Thank you for listening, for being here, and for walking through this first season with me. More stories are coming in 2026.

    Wishing you a warm and peaceful holiday season.

    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    23 min
  • Hurricane Andrew - When Survival Becomes the Urge
    Dec 20 2025

    “Hey there — thanks for reaching out to Never Have I Had the Urge! Your message is safe with me. Can’t wait to read your story.”

    In this episode of Never Have I had the Urge, I go back to South Florida during Hurricane Andrew! One of the most devastating natural disasters in U.S. history. This isn't a weather report - it's a lived experience.

    We talk about fear, survival, resilience, and the quiet moments that stay with you long after the storm passes. When systems fail and certainty vanishes, the urge to survive becomes something deeper - instinct, memory, and resolve.

    In this episode:

    - What it felt like before, during, and after Hurricane Andrew

    - How disaster reshapes identity and perspective

    - The difference between panic and purpose

    - Why some moments never leave us

    Reflection Question:

    When life strips everything down to essentials, what urge rises up in you?

    🎧Never Have I Had the Urge explores the moments we resist, confront, or surrender to - and what those moments reveal about who we are.

    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    20 min
  • Never Have I Had the Urge to Climb a Mountain
    Dec 14 2025

    Hey There - thanks for reaching out to Never Have I had the Urge. Your message is safe with me. I read every note, even if I can't respond to each one personally.

    Some urges aren't about thrill - seeking - they're about perspective.

    In this episode, I explore the idea of climbing a mountain - not just the physical act, but what it represents. The discipline, the fear, the preparation, and the quiet pull to see life from a higher vantage point.

    This isn't just about Everest! It's about the mountains we all carry, the ones we face, and the ones we choose to climb.

    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    13 min
  • Episode 2: Porch Pirate
    Dec 13 2025

    “Hey there — thanks for reaching out to Never Have I Had the Urge! Your message is safe with me. Can’t wait to read your story.”

    What is it about seeing a package on someone els's porch that makes some people pause...and others act?

    In this episode of Never Have I Had the Urge, I talk through the strange, uncomfortable, and sometimes tempting idea of becoming a Porch Pirate - not from a place of judgment, but curiosity.

    Why do certain urges surface in specific moments? What stories do we tell ourselves before crossing a line... or choosing not to?

    This show isn't about the urge we act on - it's about the ones we resist.

    🎙️Never Have I Had the Urge explores the thoughts we don't always say out loud.

    📧 Connect with the show:

    hello@neverhaveihadtheurge.com

    📌Follow for updates: Facebook & Instagram @NeverHaveIHadtheUrge

    🎙️More stories coming soon - thanks for listening.

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    13 min