Crystal publishes Part II of her expose of the mystery history of morgellons disease.

Crystal lays out the first of several episodes in a series she is calling: The Mystery History of Morgellons. Hint: none of it adds up or makes any fucking sense.

Crystal has a hallucination about a data tornado that flings her and toto into the Arctic heart of Greenland during their late 2025 5G upgrade/morgellons outbreak. But first, Donald Trump tries to steal her ruby data boots. Also, Reedley Bioweapons Lab is baaaaack baby!!! And it’s even more fucking embarrassing than Crystal predicted it would be back in 2023.

Crystal crashes a podcast hosted by robots. Naturally, they recognize her superior cyborg charisma and cede the floor. Hilarity ensues (amidst horror).

Crystal is building a class action suit for anyone with Morgellons Disease (or any contested illness) who has been discriminated against and defrauded by gaslighting AI companies. Reality is no longer revealed or covered up by the CDC. It is mediated by artificial intelligence companies who decide who gets help, service, harm or erasure. Crystal is done being gaslit by chatbots, by government agencies, by doctors and a system designed to erase and silence human beings who refuse to be used as disposable human data mines for the enrichment of a few rich dorks.

Crystal joins the Board of Peace on a billion dollar loan she got from a North Korean dictator’s petty cash box. That is how she affords to fly in to Washington on a private jet she borrowed from Qatar and attend the historic signing of the Great American Recovery Initiative Act, which our dear messiah just signed into law on Jan 29 2026.

Crystal decided that it has been far too long since she embarrassed herself (and her unsuspecting cohost) with a good compilation of the show's most ridiculous skits from the last six years of production. This is for the superfans... or anyone looking for evidence to undermine my sanity. Either way, I hope all find it entertaining.

Crystal reminds everyone that Morgellons cannot kill you, or maybe she’s just trying to remember herself.