Midnight Snack E17 — I Lost You Years Ago
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Midnight Snack E17 — I Lost You Years Ago
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Reality Check My Life | Midnight Snack | E17 — I Lost You Years Ago
(Modeling, Meaning, and How I Learned to Relate)
There’s a line from Wayne's World that’s been echoing in my body:
“I lost you like three years ago.”
This Midnight Snack isn’t about a dramatic breakup, a public conflict, or a single moment of rupture.
It’s about the quieter kind of leaving—the internal one.
The kind that happens when patterns repeat, when your nervous system stops relaxing, when attachment dissolves long before words are ever spoken.
In this episode, I reflect on how early environments shape the way we relate, how alexithymia affected my emotional mapping, how ridicule can masquerade as normal interaction, and how awareness—once it arrives—changes everything.
This is a story about:
inherited relational maps
modeling vs. malice
owning harm without accepting false narratives
accountability without lifelong availability
and leaving without making anyone the villain
It’s not a defense.
It’s not an apology tour.
It’s an integration.
Sometimes the most honest thing you can say isn’t an explanation or a rebuttal.
It’s simply this:
I already left.
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