Épisodes

  • Episode 86 - I Have Diarrhoea, Let Me In!

    Episode 86 - I Have Diarrhoea, Let Me In!
    May 15 2026
    "The only time I feel I might get better is when we are together"

    - Ben doesn’t want the obligation of dealing with your dead body.
    - Nobody lost her grandma’s ashes.
    - We plan Nobody’s funeral and her partners commiseration handjob.
    - Nobody asks if you’d let a stranger with diarrhea into your house.
    - Nobody outlines exactly what she’d use the superpower of ‘bowel vision’ for.
    - Ben dreams up a way for Nobody to get rich babysitting.
    - We brainstorm responses to the cute goodnight message Ben received.
    - We discuss brother lovin’ in The White Lotus.
    - Nobody is having a bad hair day and hasn’t had a haircut in many years.
    - We swap Uber ratings and call for an end to the five-star rating system.
    - Ben asks what is the best music to listen to during an MRI?
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    1 h
  • Episode 85 – Are You Calling Moi A Dipsh*t?

    Episode 85 – Are You Calling Moi A Dipsh*t?
    Apr 21 2026
    "I want someone to try, or let me down easy, easy tonight"

    - Ben is confused by the condoms in airport bathrooms.
    - We ponder what the inside of our nose smells like.
    - The Toni and Ryan podcast is giving Ben a glimpse into a parallel universe.
    - Nobody thinks our childhood town of Research would be the perfect setting for a small-town murder mystery.
    - Ben has a run in with a mentally healthy gang of youths.
    - We both get stuck in conversations with old men.
    - We discuss our aversion to hugging our friends.
    - Nobody has a café couch etiquette dilemma.
    - Ben feels sorry for Stranger Things’ ‘Dipshit Derek’.
    - Nobody buys exactly one kilo of bananas.
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    1 h et 3 min
  • Episode 84 – Esprit de Café

    Episode 84 – Esprit de Café
    Mar 18 2026
    "I think I got to know your body"

    - Ben thinks we need a name for the back of the knee.
    - We discuss accidentally sending dirty messages to the group chat.
    - Ben attends the Grand Prix and buys the world’s most expensive dental floss.
    - Ben has some follow up questions about Nobody’s love of Ferris wheels and the World’s Fair.
    - Prompted by the Toni & Ryan podcast, Nobody asks what percentage of each other bodies we have seen.
    - Nobody keeps booking hotel rooms with windows to the bathroom.
    - Nobody accidentally texts Ben a dirty Resident Evil meme.
    - Nobody has a café etiquette question about eating outside food.
    - We share our disdain for paid public toilets.
    - Nobody visits an empty restaurant and gets put on display.
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    1 h et 14 min
  • Episode 83 – Ohhhhh!

    Episode 83 – Ohhhhh!
    Mar 3 2026
    "All we are is dust in the wind"

    - Nobody is done with personal growth.
    - Someone is stealing Ben’s Fijian sand!
    - Ben’s stomach starts speaking to him.
    - Nobody wants to visit the World’s Fair.
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    1 h
  • Episode 82 – Swimmers Suit

    Episode 82 – Swimmers Suit
    Feb 11 2026
    "I'll take you to the candy shop. I'll let you lick the lollipop."

    - Ben wonders if we should trust Trojan condoms and we brainstorm the politest way to say ‘raw dogging’.
    - We launch our new brand of customised condoms.
    - Nobody feeds Ben the worst candy he’s ever had.
    - We cheap out on sunscreen and face the consequences.
    - Nobody returns from Bali with dengue fever. Aka. The poor man’s Ozempic.
    - Nobody claims she knows the speed of farts and can identify a farters gender.
    - We dig into the winter Olympics aerial skier crotch controversy.
    - We wonder what Jesus would have thought of hot cross buns.
    - We cap off 2025 by answering the burning questions about Ben’s Christmas lunch and the Gävle goat.
    - Ben invents ‘window towel’ and gets a new car.
    - Nobody wants more people to adopt the ‘in person indicator’ move.
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    1 h et 6 min
  • Episode 81 – Comedy Is Subjective

    Episode 81 – Comedy Is Subjective
    Dec 19 2025
    "And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the navy"

    - We make the common mistake of confusing Glenn Close with Glen Powell.
    - Ben gets embroiled in a case of mistaken identity at the massage parlour.
    - Ben provides a Christmas penguin update.
    - Ben introduces his family to Aunty Donna with disastrous results.
    - We discuss our positions on standing ovations.
    - Nobody wonders why Billy Joel is taking shots at the navy.
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    1 h et 8 min
  • Episode 80 – Stand Still And Burn

    Episode 80 – Stand Still And Burn
    Dec 1 2025
    "'Cause baby, now we got bad blood"

    - Ben is perplexed by the ‘void if scratched’ part of scratch off lottery tickets.
    - We analyse the two types of zoot suits.
    - We check in with the Gävle Goat for the first time in 2025.
    - We discuss giant pants and ‘button up people’.
    - Nobody tries to attend a yoga class and ends up in an unusual situation.
    - Nobody explains her theory on why Taylor Swift might be the Zodiac Killer.
    - Ben may have let a murderer into the building.
    - Two penguins may be attending the Moore family Christmas this year.
    - The new season of The Witcher sparks a Liam Hemsworth vs Henry Cavill debate and more...
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    1 h et 21 min
  • Episode 79 – Agatha Twistie

    Episode 79 – Agatha Twistie
    Nov 11 2025
    SPOILER WARNING

    This podcast contains a spoiler for Agatha Christie’s 1926 classic The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. If miraculously, you have just ordered this from Amazon and don’t want to know who the killer is, it’s best to listen to this episode after reading the book.
    Similarly, if you’ve also somehow managed to avoid spoilers for the original Star Wars trilogy and The Sixth Sense and would like to one day experience those unspoiled, it’s best to come back to this podcast after watching those movies.
    Furthermore, if you worry that by simply being told there’s a twist, it will spoil your experience of a movie, there’s a potential spoiler for another movie – which I will refrain from mentioning here for obvious reasons.
    There’s also some discussion about the plot of the videogame Broken Sword 5: The Serpent's Curse, so maybe play that first too.
    Finally, if this is how you found out that that the Carlton AFL team won a football game that you had recorded and were going to watch later, Nobody offers her sincere apologies.
    You know what, it’s probably best to consume every piece of literature, film, videogames, sports and any other major entertainment event in history before listening to this show. For those who still insist on pressing onward, you have been warned!

    "And she’s buying a stairway to Heaven"

    - Ben decides it’s time to check whether Nobody is the Zodiac killer.
    - We play Led Zeppelin backwards and listen for satanic messages.
    - Nobody wants to establish some firm ground rules about spoiler warnings after getting spoiled on a 99-year-old book.
    - Ben poses a hypothetical about living like a hamster for a year.
    - We discuss deadbeat seahorse mothers and the most and least likely animals to commit a crime.
    - Ben recounts a story about an elephant rampaging through a funeral and Nobody teaches us about stingray math.
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    57 min