The one where we stop pretending everything’s fine just to keep the peace.

In this episode, I sit down with Kam Bassier (from Episode 136: “You’re Not Lazy, You’re Burnt Out”) to talk about a tension so many BIPOC adults are carrying right now:

Why are we — the kids of immigrant parents, BIPOC millennials and Gen Z — having conversations our families never could?
Why does naming pain feel like betrayal?
And what does breaking cycles actually look like in real life?

We talk about harmony culture in collectivist and immigrant families — where keeping the peace wasn’t about comfort, it was about survival and appearances. But when harmony is prioritized over accountability, the emotional weight doesn’t disappear. It gets stored in our bodies and shows up later as burnout, people-pleasing, numbing, substance use, overworking, resentment, and silence in our marriages and parenting.

This conversation isn’t about tearing our parents down.
It’s about understanding what they couldn’t take responsibility for — so we don’t keep carrying it, and so we don’t pass it on to our kids.

What we get into:

Gratitude and grief can coexist — you can honor the sacrifices and name the emotional gaps

Why “they did their best” often shuts down real healing

How choosing peace over accountability trains us to minimize ourselves

Why inner-child work isn’t cute — it’s necessary

Rest, boundaries, and feeling all emotions (not just “happy”) as acts of resistance

A raw moment about quitting weed — not because it’s bad, but because numbing became easier than feeling

Not everyone in your family will be ready for this work — and that’s okay. You don’t need permission to heal. The work may feel lonely, but it’s how cycles end and new ones begin.

One thing to take away:
You can love your family deeply and still choose healing over fake harmony.
The next generation is watching what we do with what we were handed.

Instagram: kambassier

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If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Taken from South Korea as a baby, removed from his culture, and told it’s for a “better life” that he "wasn't wanted". This is the reality behind many international adoptions.

In this episode, I speak with Moses, a therapist, advocate, and human being whose lived experience gives him a unique perspective on how 'adoption' functions as an industry of child trafficking. Through his work, he challenges the narratives that frame removal as rescue, and exposes how children are commodified, displaced, and erased for profit.

We explore commodification: turning human beings, culture, and lived experience into something that can be bought, sold, or managed, stripping away history and rights.

We also confront a common question: Isn’t it better to give an unwanted child a “good North American life”? Moses explains why this belief is a false narrative that assumes Western life is superior, erases the abuse many children experience, and leaves some struggling with trauma so severe that many have taken their own lives.

This episode challenges the fantasy, the brainwashing, and the language that normalizes global-scale harm, asking listeners to see 'adoption' for what it often is: a system that commodifies children and erases their histories.

Instagram: mosesafarrow

societyforadoptiontruth.org

thetruthguide.com

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

I came across Shawn Ahmed’s work the way so many of us do now — through a moment of laughter that quietly turned into curiosity. What followed was a conversation that went far deeper than comedy.

Shawn is a South Asian Canadian actor with an impressive body of work across television, film, and comedy — and in this episode, we talk about what lives beneath the credits. Growing up in that in-between space — being Canadian while being raised by immigrant parents — and how that lived experience shapes creativity, confidence, and the risks we take.

We explore what it means to choose a path that isn’t considered “safe,” how family support shows up in subtle ways, and what early auditions teach you about how the world sees you before you even speak. We also get into the tension many South Asian artists face: wanting the freedom to play roles not defined by race, while knowing that representation still matters — especially for the kids watching from the sidelines, wondering what’s possible for them.

This conversation isn’t about arriving at neat answers. It’s about staying in relationship with yourself, trusting your voice, and giving yourself permission to want more — even when it doesn’t match the script you were handed.

If you’ve ever felt caught between worlds, expectations, or versions of yourself — this one will land.

Instagram: iamshawnahmed

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.