This episode is a reintroduction of sorts, a catch up call and an exploration into the reason I wrote a book about my mother and my feelings about her, titled, "Deeply Personal: Notes From Facing My Mother Wound".

You can grab your copy here.

So much has changed since we last spoke, including the name of this podcast and how I spend my time. I tell you more about that and my life since we last spoke on this episode of "Meet Me In The Deep".

I didn't think I'd be able to show up this week but I needed to share how I've been feeling.

I'm grieving.

I'm grieving a path, a journey, a dream I wanted for over 10 years. I'm grieving a version of me that was so focused in one direction. I'm grieving the version of me that was willing to participate in the industry as is.

My values have changed and what I'm willing to sacrifice for my dreams is different.

This year deeply encouraged me to redefine how I saw success. Even the word success feels problematic to me sometimes. Historically success has been taught as external achievement and my desire is to feel in internally aligned.

In this episode I talk about the two things I'm unsubscribing from and how I'm measuring the quality of my life.

With the release of my latest endeavor, channel nine, I've had to work on my thoughts and beliefs. I also talked through some affirmations with my therapist that I'm sharing here.

PLUS! A little prayer at the end. It was on my heart.

In this episode, I share a conversation I had with my therapist that led to this topic. This podcast has been a space to process and share my learnings in pursuing art in real time.

Here's what I discuss:

• The question I asked my therapist that led to this topic
• What she says happens when we limit ourselves to a specific desired outcome 
• The serendipitous moment that led to my next read 
• What happens in the space in between what we do and the outcome we desire 
• What it's like to shift from being mostly a service provider to being in pursuit of my art full-time

At some point, my value was tied to work and my dream was tied to being chosen. Not anymore. I invited my fiancé, Syd Jones, to talk about this because she is a safe space for me talk about this with vulnerability.

As I evolve, this podcast is evolving. Since inception, it's been about women in film and television but we are more than what we do. We are humans. And that's what I'm focused on moving forward.

I'm pivoting to becoming a full-time artist and the journey has been paved with insecurities. I talk about those insecurities in this episode. I have no backup plan for my current direction so the only way forward is to face the insecurities and process them.

I have permission to start and stop something as I please. I do not have to do something for a long time to be "successful". We're talking about it today.