Épisodes

  • “Why This Heartbreak Feels Different: You Broke Long Before It Ended”
    Dec 12 2025

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    I could not find the advice i needed about having gone through heart break before I left. Before you left or they left! Not the normal heart break advice, after they leave you suddenly or you leave suddenly.

    Most people think heartbreak hits the moment the relationship ends.

    But the truth is, some heartbreak begins long before the goodbye ever happens in the quiet places where you were breaking inside while still trying to hold everything together.

    This episode is for the ones who didn’t fall apart the day it ended… because they had already broken a hundred times before that.

    It’s for the people who:
    • cried in the relationship long before they cried after it
    • felt themselves slowly disappearing while trying to “make it work”
    • grieved a partner who was still physically there
    • lived in a state of quiet hope followed by quiet heartbreak
    • lost dreams, time, and versions of themselves trying to keep love alive
    • feel numb now, not because they didn’t care, but because they carried the pain for years

    We dive into the heartbreak no one talks about
    the heartbreak of internal collapse, of losing yourself, of grieving a future you never got to live, and the slow emotional erosion that happens when love becomes a place of pain instead of safety.

    • In this episode, you’ll learn:
    • why this heartbreak feels so different
    • why your nervous system is exhausted, not dramatic
    • why numbness is a trauma response, not a lack of love
    • why letting go feels like losing a life you already left internally
    • how heartbreak becomes an awakening, not a failure
    • how to rebuild the parts of yourself you abandoned to stay

    If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I not grieving like everyone else?” or “Why does this heartbreak feel so deep even though I was the one who left?”

    This conversation will finally put words to what your heart already knows.

    🎧 Love Better Podcast (Spotify)

    https://open.spotify.com/show/4TJF1rMoWmLBdQZveeSCnf

    🎧 Love Better Podcast (Apple Podcasts)

    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-better/id1740561464

    🎧 Love Better Podcast (Buzzsprout)

    https://www.buzzsprout.com/2335305

    ▶️ Love Better on YouTube (Your Channel)

    https://www.youtube.com/@shazmeenbank

    📸 Instagram — @shazmeenbank

    https://instagram.com/shazmeenbank

    🎵 TikTok — @shazmeen_bank

    https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeen_bank

    ▶️ YouTube — Shazmeen Bank

    https://www.youtube.com/@shazmeenbank

    THE PERSPECTIVE PODCAST:

    ▶️ YouTube

    https://www.youtube.com/@theperspectivepodcastgs

    🎧 Spotify

    https://open.spotify.com/show/2Gre5RJxyF7fWcE3sQ8ZIT

    📸 Instagram

    https://instagram.com/theperspectivepodcast.gs


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    55 min
  • Why Leaving a Trauma-Bonded Relationship Hurts So Deeply
    Dec 2 2025

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    If you’ve ever stayed in a relationship that was breaking you - or left one and wondered why the pain feels heavier than the love - this episode will speak to you. Trauma bonds make you confuse intensity for love, chaos for connection, and survival for loyalty. You know they hurt you… but you also know they’re the same person who “rescued” you from the hurt they caused. That cycle is powerful, addictive, and deeply confusing - especially when your nervous system has been trained to expect the highs and lows.In this episode, we explore the truth behind:

    • Why you stay in unhealthy relationships even when you know you deserve better
    • How childhood wounds, anxious attachment, and people-pleasing shape your choices in love
    • The difference between real repair and trauma-bonded “makeups”
    • Why leaving can make you feel numb, exhausted, or strangely peaceful
    • The grief of realising you loved them more than they ever loved you back
    • What happens when you finally start choosing yourself after years of self-abandonmentI also share a moment from my own life - running a 21km race during the hardest part of my separation - and how that run became the metaphor for rebuilding my self-worth, step by step, breath by breath. Not because my story is the point… but because sometimes someone else’s moment reminds you of your own strength.If you’re walking through a breakup, separation, divorce, or healing from an emotionally turbulent relationship, I want you to know:

    You are not crazy. You are not weak. And you are not alone.

    Healing after leaving a trauma bond requires compassion, self-respect, nervous system safety, and the courage to meet the version of you that only emerges when you finally choose yourself. You deserve a relationship that feels calm, safe, and consistent — not one that makes you question your worth.

    Connect with me:
    Instagram: @shazmeenbank
    TikTok: @shazmeen_bank
    Love Better Podcast on YouTube
    The Perspective Podcast (with my son): ThePerspectivePodcastGS on YouTube & Spotify


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    1 h et 2 min
  • "How Avoidant Partners Can Love Someone with Anxious Attachment"
    Jul 28 2025

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    I know what it feels like to have your partner want to take an interest in your world. How lonley and sad it can feel when you love and feel so empty inside. Anxious partners are givers and you also really need an avoidant partner to step up and do their part. xx Love Shazmeen.

    In this episode, Shazmeen Bank explores the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the needs of an anxiously attached partner and how avoidant partners can better support them. The conversation covers topics such as emotional safety, communication, reassurance, physical affection, and the significance of fostering independence and growth within the relationship. Shazmeen highlights the necessity of co-regulation and the role of both partners in creating a secure and fulfilling relationship.

    Take Aways From This Episode:

    • Anxiously attached partners often feel neglected and unseen.
    • Avoidant partners can learn to better support their anxious partners.
    • Setting boundaries is crucial for anxious individuals.
    • Emotional safety is essential for a healthy relationship.
    • Consistent communication helps alleviate anxiety in relationships.
    • Physical affection is vital for anxiously attached partners.
    • Reassurance is a key need for those with anxious attachment.
    • Independence and personal growth should be encouraged in relationships.
    • Understanding abandonment fears can improve relationship dynamics.
    • Co-regulation is necessary for a secure and loving partnership.

    Thank you for spending this time with me. If this episode touched something in you, I hope you know that you’re not alone. Healing isn’t linear, and love real love starts with how you show up for yourself.

    If something I said resonated, moved you, or made you feel seen, it would mean so much if you took a moment to leave a review or share this episode with someone who needs it. That’s how this message reaches hearts who are quietly hurting and still holding on to hope.

    You can connect with me more deeply over on Instagram @shazmeenbank or TikTok @shazmeen_bank, or explore 1:1 or couples coaching with me at www.shazmeenbank.com.

    And if you ever want to share your story or ask me a question, my inbox is always open at Shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com.

    You are worthy of safe love. You are worthy of peace.

    And you’re already on your way there.

    With love,
    Shazmeen




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    47 min
  • "How to Break the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle: Making Love Work When You Trigger Each Other"
    Jul 22 2025

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    In this episode, Shazmeen Bank explores the complexities of anxious and avoidant attachment styles in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics to foster compassion and connection between partners. The conversation covers how to navigate the anxious-avoidant trap, the significance of communication, and the need for both partners to work towards a secure attachment. Shazmeen provides practical tips for building autonomy, creating safe spaces for vulnerability, and recognizing patterns that lead to conflict. Ultimately, the episode encourages listeners to embrace their unique attachment styles while striving for a healthy, loving relationship.

    Takeaways:

    • Both partners can make the relationship work despite differing attachment styles.
    • Healing attachment styles is a continuous journey, not a quick fix.
    • Attachment styles are not fixed; they can evolve over time.
    • One partner can inspire the other to change positively.
    • Both partners must commit to the relationship for it to thrive.
    • Vulnerability is essential in a relationship, especially for anxious individuals.
    • Anxious individuals often seek constant reassurance and connection.
    • Avoidant individuals may need space to recharge and feel safe.
    • Creating safe words can help communicate needs without conflict.
    • Understanding each other's core wounds can foster deeper connection.

    I personally am rooting for you both. I know it can feel hard I know you may want to walk away. but if you both are willing and ready to get your hands dirty and do the work you both will not on win but build a really safe, deep, passionate love.

    If this episode helped you understand the anxious-avoidant trap better, or if you’re stuck in this cycle yourself, I hope you know you’re not alone, and it is possible to heal.

    If you loved this episode, please take a second to rate and review the podcast it really helps me reach more people who need this message.

    For more content on attachment styles, relationship healing, and emotional growth, make sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok:

    🔗 Instagram: @shazmeenbank
    🔗 TikTok: @shazmeen_bank

    You can also visit my website to learn about coaching and other resources at:
    🌍 www.shazmeenbank.com

    And if you’d like to reach out directly, I always love hearing from you email me at:
    📧 shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com

    Thank you for listening to Love Better. I’ll see you in the next episode. Love you!



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    1 h et 16 min
  • "Betrayal & Infidelity Q&A: The Pain, the Healing, and the Hard Truths"
    Jul 17 2025

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    In this Q&A episode, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complexities of infidelity, betrayal, and the emotional turmoil that follows. She addresses listener questions about the pain of being cheated on, the impact of infidelity on children, and the importance of self-worth and accountability in relationships. Through personal stories and insights, she emphasizes the need for open communication, healing, and the courage to move on from unhealthy relationships. Shazmeen encourages listeners to prioritize their emotional health and to seek relationships that foster growth and mutual respect.

    Takeaways

    • Infidelity reveals deep wounds and unhealed parts of ourselves.
    • Communication is key in addressing infidelity and rebuilding trust.
    • Children are deeply affected by their parents' relationship dynamics.
    • Healing from betrayal requires self-reflection and personal growth.
    • It's important to set standards for honesty and accountability in relationships.
    • Repetitive cheating indicates a need for serious self-evaluation.
    • Self-worth is crucial in navigating relationships after betrayal.
    • Understanding attachment styles can help in relationship dynamics.
    • Moving on from long-term relationships can be challenging but necessary.
    • Bravery is required to lead relationships towards healing and growth.

    Thank you for listening to this Q&A episode on betrayal, infidelity, and the road to healing. it means so much to me to have you trust me read your questions and answer them. Your questions allow so many scared to ask, listen and feel seen and not alone in their problem.

    This podcast is to grow a community of people that feel safe to share and grow.

    If this episode spoke to you, or if you’re sitting in the middle of heartbreak right now, please know this: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry this pain by yourself.

    If you want to keep learning, healing, and growing with me, make sure to follow me on social media.

    I share daily insights, videos, and tools to help you love better and live better.


    Follow me here:
    💕 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shazmeenbank

    💕TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeen_bank

    💕Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@shazmeenbank

    And if you loved this episode, please leave a review, share it with someone who needs it, and subscribe so you never miss a moment of real talk and healing.

    I’ll see you in the next episode.

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    1 h et 13 min
  • "What Your Partner Needs After You’ve Cheated And How to Show Up"
    Jul 14 2025

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    In this episode, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complex emotions and challenges faced by couples dealing with betrayal and infidelity. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the pain of both the betrayed and the betrayer, and outlines the steps necessary for healing, including atonement, attunement, and rebuilding trust. Shazmeen encourages open communication, emotional support, and the need for both partners to take responsibility for their healing journey. The episode serves as a guide for those navigating the tumultuous aftermath of infidelity, offering hope and practical advice for rebuilding relationships.

    Takeaways:

    • Dealing with infidelity is complex and not black and white.
    • There is no shame in trying to make a relationship work after betrayal.
    • Atonement involves genuine remorse and understanding the pain caused.
    • Attunement requires actively engaging with your partner's emotional needs.
    • Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort from both partners.
    • Coping mechanisms like journaling and physical movement can aid healing.
    • Support systems are crucial for both the betrayed and the betrayer.
    • It's important to create a safe space for open communication.
    • Healing is a journey that may involve ups and downs.
    • Both partners must be willing to work towards a new relationship dynamic.

    "If this episode helped you, or if you're navigating the aftermath of betrayal right now, know that you're not alone. Healing is possible but it takes honesty, patience, and showing up the right way.

    If you’d like more tools for rebuilding trust, understanding attachment, or working through relationship repair, make sure you’re following me on all platforms.

    Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/shazmeenbank

    TikTok:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeenbank

    Watch the full video podcast on YouTube:
    YouTube.com/@shazmeenbank

    For coaching or collaboration inquiries:
    📧 Email: shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com

    And if you’re listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, leaving a review really helps this message reach more people who need it.

    "Betrayal breaks more than trust, it shakes the entire foundation of a relationship. But if you're the one who hurt your partner, there are ways to begin repairing the damage. This episode is for you."

    🎧 Listen now on Love Better (Spotify, Apple, or YouTube)

    #LoveBetterPodcast #InfidelityRecovery #RebuildingTrust #RelationshipHealing #CheatingRecovery #AttachmentStyles #SelfHealing #EmotionalRepair #RelationshipAdvice

    See you in the next episode of Love Better.

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    1 h et 18 min
  • “Time To Break The Shame That Keeps You Inside a Trauma Bond."
    Jul 7 2025

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    In this episode of the Love Better Podcast, Shazmeen Bank addresses the struggles of individuals in toxic and abusive relationships. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's worth, understanding the cycle of abuse, and finding the strength to leave unhealthy situations. Through personal anecdotes and insights, she encourages listeners to embrace their vulnerability and work towards healing and self-love. The episode serves as a heartfelt reminder that no one deserves to be in a relationship that diminishes their spirit and that there is hope for a brighter future.

    Takeaways:

    • Many people struggle with leaving toxic relationships.
    • Anxious attachment can lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics.
    • It's important to recognize when a relationship is abusive.
    • You are not responsible for the other person's behavior.
    • Healing takes time and support from others.
    • You deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship.
    • Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.
    • Setting boundaries is crucial for self-preservation.
    • You are worthy of love and respect.
    • It's okay to seek help and share your story.

    Listen, you are not alone. you are great and I know your about to begin your greatest chapter. Love yourself! Love Better!


    • 💬 Loved this episode?
      If you’re stuck in a relationship that feels like love but keeps breaking you, know this: you are not alone, and there is a way through.
      🌐 Work with me or explore more at:
      👉 www.shazmeenbank.com
      📲 Follow on socials for daily content & connection:
      Instagram: @shazmeenbank
      TikTok: @shazmeen_bank
      💌 Coaching inquiries, podcast questions, or brand partnerships:
      📧 shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com
      🎧 Listen & subscribe to the Love Better podcast on
      Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube — just search “Shazmeen Bank”

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    1 h et 3 min
  • "Fearful Avoidant Attachment: Traits, Triggers & Relationship Patterns"
    Jun 30 2025

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    In this episode, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complexities of fearful avoidant attachment, exploring its origins, traits, and the emotional struggles faced by individuals with this attachment style. The discussion highlights the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships, the oscillation between anxious and avoidant behaviors, and the importance of understanding and healing from these patterns. Shazmeen emphasizes the need for compassion towards oneself and others in navigating relationships, particularly for those who identify as fearful avoidant. The episode concludes with insights on fostering vulnerability and emotional intimacy in relationships, encouraging listeners to embrace their journey towards healing and connection.

    Takeaways:

    • Fearful avoidant attachment is characterized by a push-pull dynamic in relationships.
    • Individuals with fearful avoidant attachment often oscillate between love and fear.
    • Childhood experiences significantly shape attachment styles in adulthood.
    • The Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) offers insights into attachment beyond infancy.
    • Fearful avoidants may struggle with self-soothing and emotional regulation.
    • Vulnerability is a major trigger for fearful avoidants in relationships.
    • Fearful avoidants often have a deep desire for connection but fear abandonment.
    • Understanding attachment styles can foster empathy in relationships.
    • Healing from fearful avoidant attachment requires self-awareness and compassion.
    • Relationships with fearful avoidants can thrive with patience and understanding.

    🎧 Watch or listen now:
    🔗 YouTube, Spotify & Apple - search Love Better by Shazmeen Bank
    🌐 All links: www.shazmeenbank.com
    📲 Follow me on Instagram: @shazmeenbank & TikTok: @shazmeen_bank

    💌 DM me your story — I read every one - or email me at shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com



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    1 h et 12 min