Every marriage faces hard seasons — grief, loss, financial collapse, and faith crises. In this episode, Chad and Sarah get honest about some of the most painful chapters of their marriage and the four things that kept them together.

Download the Connection Guide for conversation questions to help you and your spouse go deeper — even in the hard seasons.

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What We Went Through

Four months after getting married, Sarah's brother passed away. Over the next several years, she also lost her mother and her sister. Chad, still finishing college, quietly suppressed his own struggles rather than add to her grief — and the two slowly drifted without realizing it.

Around years 10–12, a business Chad felt called to build collapsed. The family relocated from LA to Arizona to start over. They were both hurting, missing each other emotionally, and saying things that left real wounds.

What Didn't Help

• Chad compares his struggles to Sarah's and decides his didn't matter — a story he told himself, not something she ever said
• Sarah-Gayle assumed Chad was naturally independent and didn't need to be checked in on
• Both of them default to blame instead of asking how they could each contribute to the solution

What Actually Helped

Four things carried them through every hard season:

• Community — Being planted in a local church meant people showed up. Food, prayer, presence. They had no family in LA, but the church became family.
• Personal faith — Even when their connection to each other was strained, each kept growing individually. Those private moments with God gave them what they needed to find their way back.
• Forgiveness — Choosing to forgive gave them a clean slate instead of a growing pile of resentment. It was a decision, not a feeling.
• Serving each other — Grace from God reshapes the heart. Out of that came the willingness to serve, which became the bridge back to real connection.

Key Takeaways

• Don't compare your pain to your spouse's. Both of your experiences matter — practice the "both and" no the "either or."
• Your spouse is not the enemy. The hard season is what you face together.
• You will find evidence for whatever you focus on — reasons to leave, or reasons to rebuild. Choose intentionally.
• Hurt people hurt people. Recognizing the cycle is the first step to breaking it.

Your Next Step

Check in on these four areas — first with yourself, then with your spouse:

• Church / Community — Are we plugged in? Do people around us actually know us?
• Personal faith — Am I growing individually, not just as a couple?
• Forgiveness — Is there anything I'm holding onto?
• Serving — Where can I practically serve my spouse this week?

Website: Hope Relentless