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Money can be a lifeline or a leash.

In this episode of Lady News, I sit down with Robin Ray, CEO of Beryl Women Inc. in Canberra, to unpack economic abuse as a powerful and often hidden tactic of domestic and family violence.

Robin is a proud Kamilaroi people woman born in the small NSW country town of Collarenebri, where she grew up on the Aboriginal Reserve. Before becoming CEO, she worked within the service as an Aboriginal Support Worker, gaining deep frontline experience supporting women escaping violence and navigating complex systems.

In our conversation, Robin explains how financial control is woven through everyday life for women experiencing abuse - from stolen identity documents and coerced access to Centrelink accounts, to blocked bank access and debts taken out in a woman’s name. Often these tactics remain hidden until a woman tries to take a simple step toward independence - like buying groceries, catching a bus, or opening her own bank account.

Drawing on decades of frontline experience, Robin speaks about the intergenerational patterns of violence she has witnessed: mothers arriving at services with their children, and those same children returning years later as adults needing support. These realities pushed Beryl to reshape its model around trauma-informed, wraparound care.

Sometimes the first steps to safety are practical ones - replacing identity documents, securing income, opening a bank account, enrolling children in school. Only once stability begins to return is there space to process the deeper story.

Robin also reflects on how systemic barriers compound risk, particularly for Aboriginal women who may face racism, poverty, and historic distrust of institutions, as well as limited safe access to financial services.

The conversation also shines a light on gaps within the support system itself: crisis funding models built around three-month stays when real recovery often takes nine to twelve months or more; older women and women with disabilities falling through service gaps; and children frequently treated as secondary to a parent’s case rather than as clients with their own needs.

Through initiatives like Beryl’s therapy van, counselling and support can reach families directly, removing transport and cost barriers and ensuring that early intervention and prevention are more than just policy language.

The message running through Robin’s work is simple but profound: real safety is built through trust, time and community - not quick fixes.

Robin Ray is a proud Kamilaroi people woman from Collarenebri in NSW. She is the Chief Executive Officer of Beryl Women Inc., a Canberra-based organisation supporting women and children experiencing domestic and family violence.

Robin began her work with Beryl as an Aboriginal Support Worker and has spent decades supporting women and families seeking safety. Her leadership reflects the strength of Aboriginal women leading change in their communities and ensuring culturally informed support for women and children.

Resources mentioned in this episode

Power & Control Wheel

https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/

Beryl Women Inc. (Canberra)
https://beryl.org.au

Donate to Beryl Women
https://beryl.org.au/donate

Domestic Violence Crisis Service ACT
https://dvcs.org.au

📞 02 6280 0900

1800RESPECT – Nation

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We speak with Anne Wintermute from Aimee Says AI about how abuse often reveals itself through patterns and how this free tool can help survivors recognise coercive control before it's too late.

Together, we unpack the power-and-control wheel and connect it to real-world experiences: rapid emotional escalation, post-separation abuse, and the exhausting administrative burden of seeking justice.

In this episode, we explore:

• recognising coercive control through patterns and impact
• how Aimee Says analyses messages and flags boundary violations
• early warnings, including overwhelming early attention and subtle disrespect
• building language for court, documentation and safety planning
• post-separation abuse and the paperwork survivors are forced to carry
• practical boundary tests to gauge respect
• reframing “small” incidents as evidence of control
• why systems move slowly and how demand can drive change

🎧 Unlock premium features on Aimee Says free for a month using the promo code LadyNews.

You can also access the free 24/7 chat via ladynews.com.au.

Australian National Support & Crisis Lines

1800RESPECT

• 24/7 confidential support: Information, counselling and referrals for people affected by sexual assault, domestic and family violence.
• Phone: 1800 737 732
• Online chat available via the website.

Domestic Violence Helplines (State/Territory)

• NSW Domestic Violence Line: 24/7 counselling, safety planning, referrals and support — 1800 65 64 63.
• DVConnect Womensline (QLD): Support including crisis counselling and safe refuge information — 1800 811 811.
• DVConnect Mensline (QLD): Support for men affected by family violence — 1800 600 636.

Rainbow & Specialist Lines

• Full Stop Australia: 24/7 support for people of all genders impacted by domestic and family violence.
• Rainbow Domestic & Family Violence Helpline: Support for LGBTIQ+ individuals — 1800 497 212.

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A charming start can hide a calculated pattern. We open our first Lady News episode by naming the tactics that make emotional abuse so hard to see love bombing, DARVO, fast intimacy and we ground them in a brave, lived-experience story from Leesa Scanlan. Her account traces the slow shift from fairy tale to fear, how late-night conflicts and word salad undermine confidence, and why outside voices can be the mirror you need when self-doubt takes over.

We walk through the power and control wheel to show how small moments add up to a system designed to chip away at autonomy. Then we get practical. You’ll hear how documenting timelines and screenshots supports clarity, how paid family and domestic violence leave can create space to plan, and what it looks like to file a police report even when no crime is charged. For South Australian listeners, we break down the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme , SA's version of Clare’s Law, what information may be shared, the role of the caseworker, and how your own report can be considered in future checks.

Finally, we talk about healing, trauma bonds, and re-entering dating with new eyes. We separate false green flags of excessive praise, constant availability, rapid future plans from the real ones: boundaries honoured, steady behavior, genuine accountability. If your gut says something is off, that’s data worth trusting. For links to resources, support services, and more on the power and control wheel, head to ladynews.com.au. If this conversation helped, please follow, share with a friend who might need it, and leave a review to help others find these tools and stories. Your voice can help someone else feel less alone.

You can find out more about the Duluth Model and the POWER & CONTROL Wheel here .

A great TV series to watch which we found to be relevant to this topic is FAKE. .

Support Services

If this episode raises difficult feelings or brings up personal experiences, support is available. Help is free, confidential, and available nationwide:

1800RESPECT
📞 1800 737 732
🌐 www.1800respect.org.au

24/7 counselling and support for people impacted by family, domestic and sexual violence.

Lifeline
📞 13 11 14
🌐 www.lifeline.org.au

24/7 crisis support for anyone feeling overwhelmed or unsafe.

Beyond Blue
📞 1300 22 4636
🌐 www.beyondblue.org.au

Mental health support, including anxiety, depression and trauma.

Mensline Australia
📞 1300 78 99 78
🌐 www.mensline.org.au

Support for men experiencing or using violence, or struggling with relationships.

Kids Helpline
📞 1800 55 1800

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