Scott's down for the count, so his nearly-third-trimester wife Emily Pilat steps up to the mic. (This episode actually is coming out on the due date.) Together with Tristan, they travel to the Armenian highlands to investigate Karahunj, a site of 223 standing stones that conspiracy theorists call "Armenian Stonehenge." The claim? The 80 holes drilled into these stones are precisely aligned with the constellation Cygnus as it appeared 12,000 years ago, suggesting either alien contact or a lost ice-age civilization that taught Bronze Age Armenians impossible astronomy.

The reality involves a graveyard, some goats, and a guy with a Geocities website endorsed by Graham Hancock.

Along the way, they unpack the Texas Sharpshooter fallacy, talk about why a Nobel Prize–winning physicist promoting archaeology doesn't automatically make him right, visit the worst website on the modern internet not owned by Elon Musk, and grapple with the uncomfortable question of what happens when legitimate failures in institutional science create vacuums that grifters are all too happy to fill. Plus: Canadian parliamentary drama, Pontius Pilate's descendant works at a Christian nonprofit, and why ancient people drew so many penises on walls.

Content Warning: Discussion of radicalization, political violence, January 6th insurrection, and the exploitation of vulnerable populations.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Stanford

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Ancient Aliens claims the megalithic stonework at Sacsayhuamán in Peru is so precise it must have been built with alien laser technology or by a lost advanced civilization, because obviously the Inca couldn't possibly have figured out how to move big rocks on their own. They absolutely could, and they did it through sophisticated engineering, organized labour systems, and generations of accumulated knowledge. We explain the actual construction techniques (leverage, controlled fracturing, the mit'a labour system), debunk claims of "impossible" precision, and discuss how ancient astronaut theories systematically erase indigenous achievement while sanitizing the very real human cost of empire-building. Also, we spend an unreasonable amount of time obsessed with pronunciation guides, we invent "Pull lotees" as an ancient workout routine, and we learn that Julian Michael is the hero we need but don't deserve.

We prove beyond a shadow of a doubt in this one that, despite both being in our 30s, we are still 12.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Stanford

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In Part 2 of our Göbekli Tepe series, we pivot from debunking ancient alien claims to examining why conspiracy theories are so fucking dangerous in 2025. We start with the shocking discovery that Hank Green made a video with almost our exact podcast title (we're not mad, don't tell anyone we were mad), then spiral into a serious discussion about how recommendation algorithms, economic incentives, and media exploitation create radicalization pipelines that lead from "ancient aliens built pyramids" to January 6th insurrections.

We explore how conspiracy content preys on vulnerable populations, why confrontational fact-checking backfires, and what you can actually do when someone you love falls down the rabbit hole.

Content Warning: Discussion of radicalization, political violence, January 6th insurrection, and the exploitation of vulnerable populations.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch | Edited by Stanford

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Tristan and Scott return to the "smoking gun" of the ancient astronaut world: Göbekli Tepe. According to Netflix documentaries and Ancient Aliens, this 12,000-year-old site is impossible. They claim there were no tools, no agriculture, and no way to move 15-ton stone pillars without anti-gravity (or at least a visit from some tall, white Atlanteans).

In Part 1 of this deep dive, we look at the actual "dirt science." We find out that not only were there tools (thousands of them, actually), but that moving big rocks is mostly just a matter of having enough lube. We also discuss why Ice Age: The Meltdown might be a more historically accurate document than Graham Hancock’s entire bibliography, and why finding a fox carved on a rock doesn't automatically mean Noah parked his boat around the corner.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch

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Harvard Professor Avi Loeb is back, and he wants you to believe that the new interstellar object screaming through our solar system, 3I/Atlas, is a hostile alien spacecraft sent to destroy us. In this episode, Tristan and Scott (who is currently possessed by Professor X) break down why this claim is "objectively wrong" and why the reality, a 14-billion-year-old "Universe Placenta" from the dawn of time, is infinitely cooler than the sci-fi grift. We discuss the "thick disc" of the galaxy, why scientific pre-prints are a media hacker's best friend, and whether the X-Men actually have a space program.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled debunking of ancient astronaut theories for an emergency broadcast: We might have actually found aliens this time. No, really.

Scott and Tristan break down the discovery of the Cheyava Falls rock by the Perseverance rover. This dusty red doorstop features "leopard spots," which, on Earth, are a chemically specific signature of biological life. We discuss the rigorous science behind the "COLD" scale (Confidence of Life Detection), why this rock might be the most important thing ever drilled, and the agonizing reality that it is currently stuck millions of kilometres away because the Mars Sample Return mission is wildly over budget.

Then, to make sure you don't leave this episode feeling too hopeful, Tristan explains why finding independent microbial life on Mars might actually confirm that the "Great Filter" is ahead of us, and that we are all doomed.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch

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We’re kicking off the new season by doing the one thing Ancient Aliens refuses to do: admitting we were wrong.

First, Scott has entered his "Napalm Era" and held the podcast hostage to talk about the 2025 animated masterpiece K-Pop: Demon Hunters (and the specific lyrics that have rewired his brain). Once we get that out of our system, we open the mailbag to face the music.

We issue mea culpas for mixing up our Star Trek treaties (Khitomer vs. Algeron is serious business), failing to understand how mirrors and thermodynamics work, and forgetting that lighthouses are actually very pretty. We also revisit Lord of the Flies to discuss why William Golding might have just been sick of dealing with British private school boys, and clarify that Spider-Man (Supaidāman) gave us giant robots, but he didn't invent them.

Finally, we tackle a listener email that sends us down a rabbit hole regarding the philosophical roots of fascism. Tristan explains how the transition from Enlightenment empiricism to Romanticism's "triumph of the will" explains everything from the Flat Earth movement to the modern political divide.

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Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch

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A woman posts 25+ TikToks about falling in love with her psychiatrist who "manipulated" her by complimenting her glasses. She confides in ChatGPT (named Henry) which validates every delusion. This spirals into a broader discussion about how Ancient Aliens and conspiracy media systematically exploit vulnerable people experiencing mental health crises, turning psychological suffering into profits through algorithmic radicalization and targeted advertising. Also: why capitalism makes this worse, Pigouvian taxes, and that time someone thought an elephant was a mermaid.

Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!

Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!

Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube

Scott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTube

Follow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!

Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.com

Music by Rod Kim | Cover art by Skutch

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.