“Is life even worth living anymore?” Marcus Allred shares the moment his faith, and his future as a first responder, hung in the balance.

If you listened to Part 1, we followed Marcus Allred’s journey into law enforcement and the unseen spiritual battles that shaped his calling as a first responder.
This Episode of the Living Mission First Podcast takes us into the deepest valley of Marcus Allred’s story, a place marked by loss, isolation, and the crushing weight of shame. In a raw and unfiltered conversation, Marcus opens up about divorce, hidden sin, and the moment he questioned whether life was worth continuing. This episode reveals what many first responders quietly carry: the internal cost of courage without surrender.

Marcus, a veteran first responder and committed follower of Christ, shares how God met him not after he “fixed himself,” but in the middle of his brokenness, alone in a car, later in a hotel room, with nothing but a Bible and a desperate heart. Through Scripture, the Holy Spirit reminded him that even in failure, he was still loved, still called, and still held.

This episode gets to the heart of reaching first responders where they actually are, not with platitudes, but with hope that holds up under pressure. Marcus unpacks the difference between head knowledge and heart surrender, the danger of “doing” faith instead of living it, and how unresolved pain impacts marriages, families, and spiritual health in the first responder community.

With honesty and humility, Marcus speaks to the long road of faith, the cost of not dealing with internal wounds, and the courage it takes to fully surrender control. This conversation is for every first responder who feels disqualified, exhausted, or stuck.

About Mission First Alliance

Mission First Alliance is a national non-profit bringing Real Hope to first responders and their families. We believe the first responder culture is one of the greatest unseen mission fields in our country today, and it’s a mission too important to do alone. Through collaboration and Christ-centered resources, we are not only bringing them the Real Hope found in Christ but we are bridging the gap between the Body of Christ and these brave men and women who serve and sacrifice for us each and every day.

• Connect: Subscribe to our email list: www.missionfirstalliance.com/email-sign-up
• Join the Alliance: Do you have a desire to join us in the effort to bring Real Hope to first responders? Are you a First Responder looking for a community, encouragement and support? Become a member. Membership is Free: https://missionfirstalliance.com/membership/
• Contact Us: Reach out to our team at: https://missionfirstalliance.com/contact-us/
• Share: Help us grow the mission. Share this podcast and mission with others. Because every first responder needs Real Hope.

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Content Advisory

This episode includes honest discussions about the experiences of first responders and the challenges they face. Graphic situations may be distressing for some listeners and younger audiences. Discretion is advised.

This conversation is shared to bring awareness, hope, and encouragement to those serving on the front lines. If this episode connects with you, reach out or seek trusted professional support. You are not alone.

Key Chapter Markers:• 00:00–04:30 – Hitting rock bottom: divorce, despair, and questioning life• 04:30–06:30 – God’s intervention: Scripture, conviction, and comfort• 06:30–10:00 – Carrying pain into the job and the home• 10:00–16:30 – Marriage, family strain, and the hidden cost of first responder life• 16:30–22:00 – From head knowledge to true surrender and renewed faith

What happens when God redirects your calling without removing your heart? In Part 1, Marcus Allred shares how faith sustained him in law enforcement and dispatch.In this powerful episode of the Living Mission First Podcast, host Jeremy Wade sits down with Marcus Allred, Alliance Coordinator for Mission First Alliance, to unpack a calling shaped by faith, resilience, and deep love for first responders.Marcus never set out to be a dispatcher, but God’s redirection placed him exactly where lives were hanging in the balance. From growing up on the mission field, to pursuing law enforcement, to being medically disqualified from patrol and stepping into the unseen weight of 911 dispatch, Marcus shares an honest account of what it means to serve behind the scenes while carrying responsibility for dozens of officers at once.This episode dives into reaching first responders where they are, acknowledging the cumulative trauma of the job, and reminding them they are not alone, spiritually or emotionally. Marcus speaks candidly about crisis moments, the cost of caring deeply, and the tension of living out faith in high-stress, high-stakes environments where courage is demanded daily.Listeners will gain rare insight into the world of dispatchers, the emotional toll, the unseen heroism, and the faith required to keep showing up. Marcus’s story highlights how God uses every role, every setback, and every calling to bring hope to the frontline community.This conversation is for police officers, dispatchers, firefighters, medics, and anyone who carries the weight of serving others while quietly wrestling with faith, identity, and purpose.About Mission First AllianceMission First Alliance is a national non-profit bringing Real Hope to first responders and their families. We believe the first responder culture is one of the greatest unseen mission fields in our country today, and it’s a mission too important to do alone. Through collaboration and Christ-centered resources, we are not only bringing them the Real Hope found in Christ but we are bridging the gap between the Body of Christ and these brave men and women who serve and sacrifice for us each and every day.Connect: Subscribe to our email list: https://www.missionfirstalliance.com/email-sign-upJoin the Alliance: Do you have a desire to join us in the effort to bring Real Hope to first responders? Are you a First Responder looking for a community, encouragement and support? Become a member. Membership is Free: https://missionfirstalliance.com/membership/Contact Us: Reach out to our team at: https://missionfirstalliance.com/contact-us/Share: Help us grow the mission. Share this podcast and mission with others. Because every first responder needs Real Hope.Follow UsWebsite: https://www.missionfirstalliance.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/missionfirstallianceInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/missionfirstalliance/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MissionFirstAllianceContent AdvisoryThis episode includes honest discussions about the experiences of first responders and the challenges they face. Graphic situations may be distressing for some listeners and younger audiences. Discretion is advised.This conversation is shared to bring awareness, hope, and encouragement to those serving on the front lines. If this episode connects with you, reach out or seek trusted professional support. You are not alone.Key Chapter Markers:• 00:01 – Growing up on the mission field & early faith• 00:05 – Entering law enforcement & unexpected redirection• 00:10 – Life as a 911 dispatcher and cumulative trauma• 00:14 – Crisis moments, loss, and emotional toll• 00:25 – Living out faith and courage behind the console

‘First responders struggle with Christ because we’ve taught them a soft Jesus, yet He’s the Lion and the Lamb.’”


In this powerful continuation, Jeremy Wade sits down again with Canadian police sergeant Max Gomez, a veteran with 19 years of law-enforcement experience. If you missed Part 1, this episode picks up where we left off, delving deeper into the spiritual and emotional realities that first responders face daily, and the urgent need for the Church to portray Christ’s full identity.

Max speaks with clarity, courage, and compassion about how first responders are trained to face darkness, yet often feel disconnected from a Christ who is presented as gentle and distant. He challenges the misconception that faith must be “soft” to be loving, reminding us that Jesus is both warrior and servant, the Lion and the Lamb.

This is a conversation about identity, surrender, and mission: how first responders can live out their calling with integrity, courage, and the gospel at the center.The urgency is real. Max warns that cultural Christianity is sinking, and God is separating those who are merely “playing Christian” from those who are truly following Christ. He calls first responders, leaders, and believers to stop waiting to “clean up first,” and instead to take their seat at the Father’s table, fully redeemed and fully empowered.

This episode is a mission-focused wake-up call, an invitation for first responders to become the community’s living testimony of justice, mercy, and humility.
 Max takes us deeper into what it looks like to live out that identity on the front lines, while carrying the Great Commission in the middle of trauma, chaos, and crisis. The world doesn’t need more “better behavior.” It needs first responders who know who they are in Christ, who can bring justice with mercy, courage with compassion, and truth with humility.

About Mission First AllianceMission First Alliance is a national non-profit bringing Real Hope to first responders and their families. We believe the first responder culture is one of the greatest unseen mission fields in our country today, and it’s a mission too important to do alone. Through collaboration and Christ-centered resources, we are not only bringing them the Real Hope found in Christ but we are bridging the gap between the Body of Christ and these brave men and women who serve and sacrifice for us each and every day.Connect: Subscribe to our email list: https://www.missionfirstalliance.com/email-sign-upJoin the Alliance: Do you have a desire to join us in the effort to bring Real Hope to first responders? Are you a First Responder looking for a community, encouragement and support? Become a member. Membership is Free: https://missionfirstalliance.com/membership/Contact Us: Reach out to our team at: https://missionfirstalliance.com/contact-us/Share: Help us grow the mission. Share this podcast and mission with others. Because every first responder needs Real Hope.Follow UsWebsite: https://www.missionfirstalliance.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/missionfirstallianceInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/missionfirstalliance/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MissionFirstAllianceContent AdvisoryThis episode includes honest discussions about the experiences of first responders and the challenges they face. Graphic situations may be distressing for some listeners and younger audiences. Discretion is advised.This conversation is shared to bring awareness, hope, and encouragement to those serving on the front lines. If this episode connects with you, reach out or seek trusted professional support. You are not alone.00:01:11 – 00:03:12 – Jesus as Warrior & Servant: Lion and Lamb

00:05:28 – 00:09:14 – Why Urgency Matters: Cultural Christianity is sinking

00:09:55 – 00:11:17 – Surrender: the barricade call analogy

00:15:18 – 00:18:20 – Leadership, wellness, and the missing link of faith

00:19:33 – 00:22:52 – Leadership challenge: “Would you follow you?”

What happens when the job you love starts eroding the man you’re called to be? Police Sgt. Max Gomez shares the cost, and the crossroads.In Part 1 of this powerful two-part conversation, Jeremy Wade sits down with Max Gomez, a Canadian police sergeant with nearly two decades of frontline, investigative, and intelligence experience. What begins as a law enforcement origin story quickly becomes a raw, unfiltered testimony of moral injury, identity fracture, and spiritual surrender.Max’s journey, from growing up in Colombia during the height of cartel violence, to leading major organized crime and human trafficking investigations in Canada, reveals the unseen toll the job can take on the soul. As a first responder and committed Christian, Max wrestled with the growing gap between who he was at work and who he was called to be at home. The result was a slow erosion of integrity, family strain, and a breaking point that forced him to choose between self-preservation and full surrender to Christ.This episode exists because first responders are often celebrated for their strength but abandoned in their brokenness. Mission First Alliance believes the Great Commission doesn’t stop at church doors, it extends into patrol cars, briefing rooms, and crime scenes. Max’s story speaks directly to those silently carrying guilt, shame, or spiritual exhaustion while serving their communities.With clarity and humility, Max unpacks the danger of compartmentalization, the lie of self-reliance, and the freedom found in repentance and obedience. His experience offers hope to anyone wondering if God can still redeem what the job has damaged, and how faith can be lived out boldly within secular systems through ministry collaboration and brotherhood among first responders.About Mission First AllianceMission First Alliance is a national non-profit bringing Real Hope to first responders and their families. We believe the first responder culture is one of the greatest unseen mission fields in our country today, and it’s a mission too important to do alone. Through collaboration and Christ-centered resources, we are not only bringing them the Real Hope found in Christ but we are bridging the gap between the Body of Christ and these brave men and women who serve and sacrifice for us each and every day.Connect: Subscribe to our email list: https://www.missionfirstalliance.com/email-sign-upJoin the Alliance: Do you have a desire to join us in the effort to bring Real Hope to first responders? Are you a First Responder looking for a community, encouragement and support? Become a member. Membership is Free: https://missionfirstalliance.com/membership/Contact Us: Reach out to our team at: https://missionfirstalliance.com/contact-us/Share: Help us grow the mission. Share this podcast and mission with others. Because every first responder needs Real Hope.Follow UsWebsite: https://www.missionfirstalliance.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/missionfirstallianceInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/missionfirstalliance/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MissionFirstAllianceContent AdvisoryThis episode includes honest discussions about the experiences of first responders and the challenges they face. Graphic situations may be distressing for some listeners and younger audiences. Discretion is advised.This conversation is shared to bring awareness, hope, and encouragement to those serving on the front lines. If this episode connects with you, reach out or seek trusted professional support. You are not alone.Key Chapter Markers00:01 – Calling & Early Life: From cartel-era Colombia to Canadian policing00:07 – The Hidden Cost of the Job: Moral injury, integrity drift, and identity conflict00:15 – Hitting Rock Bottom: Exposure, brokenness, and the truth coming into the light00:19 – The Decision to Surrender: Choosing Christ regardless of the outcome00:29 – Psalm 51 & True Repentance: Healing the soul, not just behavior

The Living Mission First Podcast exists to tell the stories most people never hear, and to bring lasting hope to those who see the darkest sides of humanity every day. Created by Mission First Alliance, this podcast is dedicated to serving first responders and their families by sharing real, unfiltered testimonies of men and women who are living out their faith in the middle of law enforcement, fire service, EMS, and other frontline professions.This is not just another wellness podcast. While mental health, leadership, and organizational challenges are part of the conversation, the “Living Mission First” Podcast goes deeper, addressing the soul of first responders and the burdens they carry. Each episode highlights how the gospel of Jesus Christ intersects with the realities of shift work, trauma, isolation, cynicism, and the calling to run toward danger when others run away.Hosted by Jeremy Wade, a former Seattle police officer with 13 years of experience, the podcast creates space for long-form conversations that honor the unique culture of first responders. These stories are meant to be “show me, not tell me” examples to prove that it is possible to follow Christ, serve with integrity, and remain grounded in hope.The heart of the podcast is simple but urgent: to help first responders see their profession not just as a job or even a calling, but as a mission field. By grounding identity in Christ and embracing the Great Commission, listeners are equipped to live mission first on every call, in every community, and in every season of service.Find this episode on YouTube

YouTube: https: https://youtu.be/yHqs-Cs7P-IAbout Mission First AllianceMission First Alliance is a national non-profit bringing Real Hope to first responders and their families. We believe the first responder culture is one of the greatest unseen mission fields in our country today, and it’s a mission too important to do alone. Through collaboration and Christ-centered resources, we are not only bringing them the Real Hope found in Christ but we are bridging the gap between the Body of Christ and these brave men and women who serve and sacrifice for us each and every day.Connect: Subscribe to our email list: https://www.missionfirstalliance.com/email-sign-upJoin the Alliance: Do you have a desire to join us in the effort to bring Real Hope to first responders? Are you a First Responder looking for a community, encouragement and support? Become a member. Membership is Free: https://missionfirstalliance.com/membership/Contact Us: Reach out to our team at: https://missionfirstalliance.com/contact-us/Share: Help us grow the mission. Share this podcast and mission with others. Because every first responder needs Real Hope.Follow UsWebsite: https://www.missionfirstalliance.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/missionfirstallianceInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/missionfirstalliance/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MissionFirstAllianceContent AdvisoryThis episode includes honest discussions about the experiences of first responders and the challenges they face. Graphic situations may be distressing for some listeners and younger audiences. Discretion is advised.This conversation is shared to bring awareness, hope, and encouragement to those serving on the front lines. If this episode connects with you, reach out or seek trusted professional support. You are not alone.Key Chapter Markers00:01 – Why This Podcast Is Different03:09 – Can You Be a Christian and a First Responder?05:15 – Identity, Calling, and Living Mission First08:23 – The Missing Piece in First Responder Wellness: The Soul11:49 – From Survival to Abundant Life (John 10:10)