Most people think confidence comes from success.

In reality, confidence comes from self-trust—and most people never learn how to build it.

In this episode of The Mark Divine Show, Mark sits down with Shadé Zahrai, award-winning leadership strategist, Harvard-trained researcher, and author of Big Trust.

Together, they unpack why:

Self-doubt is not the enemy—it’s a signal

- Psychological safety fails when people don’t trust themselves

- Waiting to “feel confident” keeps people stuck

- Inner critics sabotage leadership, performance, and relationships

- True confidence is built through trust, not validation

Shadé introduces her Big Trust framework, breaking down:

- The four core traits that shape self-image

- The internal archetypes that quietly run your behavior

- How to turn doubt into data instead of self-sabotage

- Why self-trust must come before action, not after

- Practical tools to quiet the inner critic and lead with clarity

This conversation bridges neuroscience, leadership psychology, and lived experience to help you stop outsourcing your worth—and start trusting yourself under pressure.

If you’ve ever felt capable but hesitant, accomplished but unsure, or driven but internally conflicted—this episode will give you language, structure, and tools to change that.

🔔 Go Deeper

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Shade Links:

Website: https://www.shadezahrai.com/

Book: https://www.shadezahrai.com/bigtrust

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shadezahrai/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.ShadeZahrai

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahrai/

#SelfTrust #ConfidenceBuilding #LeadershipDevelopment #MentalFitness #PersonalGrowth #PsychologyOfSuccess #EmotionalIntelligence #InnerCritic #HighPerformance #MarkDivine #ShadeZahrai #BigTrust

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction: Journey into Big Trust

00:44 Join The Unbeatable Tribe

02:04 Meet Dr. Sade Rai

03:20 The Path to Leadership and Performance Psychology

07:11 The Role of Self-Doubt and Trust

12:10 Understanding Self-Image and Core Self-Evaluations

20:47 The Four Archetypes of Self-Doubt

31:55 Visualizing and Reclaiming Ownership

32:30 Personal Example of Managing Thoughts

33:24 Understanding the Root Cause

35:15 The WIRM Process

38:29 The Story of the Golden Buddha

42:04 Building Self-Esteem and Agency

46:21 The Power of Hope and Emotional Adaptability

52:19 Addressing the Victimizer Archetype

56:49 Practical Steps to Develop Trust

01:01:15 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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