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Heterosexual Man-Dates and the Midlife Loneliness Crisis

Heterosexual Man-Dates and the Midlife Loneliness Crisis

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When was the last time someone called you and you didn't immediately assume something terrible had happened?

In the debut episode of The Analog Hour, host Michelle Henery sits down with Dr. Phil Higgins, a licensed clinical social worker with more than 20 years of experience working with clients, to unpack a question most of us are afraid to ask out loud: why am I so lonely?

Phil explains why loneliness almost never shows up as the presenting problem in therapy — it hides behind depression, anxiety, and marital conflict. He describes what isolation actually looks like for people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who have full lives on paper but no one to call. And he makes a surprising case for worrying less about teenagers' screen time and more about our own.

Together, Michelle and Phil explore why younger generations use technology to expand their worlds while older generations use it to shrink theirs, why men are particularly at risk for social isolation, and what actually works to rebuild connection — from volunteering to community hubs to what one of Phil's clients memorably named "heterosexual man-dates".

In this episode:

  • Why clients rarely walk into therapy saying "I'm lonely" — and what they say instead
  • The generational connection gap: how a 17-year-old and a 47-year-old define friendship and connection differently
  • What the lost art of answering the kitchen phone taught us about communication
  • Why Phil sends his male clients on friendship dates — and what happens when they come back
  • Volunteering, community spaces, and the case for building new 'ships' in real life

About the guest: Dr. Phil Higgins is a licensed clinical social worker based outside Boston, specializing in issues surrounding identity, relationships, and connection. He serves on the board of his local YMCA and, at 49, took up burlesque dancing — because connection takes many forms.

Connect: Share this episode with someone you've been meaning to call.

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