You think you’re healing.

But what if you’re just… performing it?

In this episode, I’m calling out the version of “healing” that looks good on the surface like love, light, high vibes ,but quietly avoids the real work.

The suppressed anger. The hidden jealousy.

The parts of you you don’t want to admit are there.

Because real healing isn’t about becoming better. It’s about becoming honest.

Are you actually healing… or just getting better at hiding?

Stay connected:

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@monica_cotolan

@girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

For collaborations or private inquiries:

cotolanmonica41@gmail.com

If this podcast resonates, share it with a woman who needs to hear it.

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You don’t miss them.

You miss what you thought it could be.

That’s why you keep going back ,even when it’s over.

In this episode, we talk about:

•why you feel stuck after a breakup or ghosting

•why closure isn’t coming

•how to actually let go and move on

If you’re tired of overthinking, checking, and waiting for answers…this is for you.

DM me “MOVE ON” on Instagram

if you’re ready to finally break the cycle.

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Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan

Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

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subtle icks that instantly kill attraction .

The ick.

I asked women online. They didn’t hold back.

It’s always something small.

And then it’s over.

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Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan

Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

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What if the reason your relationships keep ending the same way… isn’t just them?

In this episode, we’re talking about the patterns nobody wants to admit:

falling for potential, overthinking texts, needing clarity too soon, and slowly losing yourself in someone you barely know.

This one might feel like a personal attack.

But it might also change your entire dating life.

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Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan

Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

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Some people move on quickly after a breakup.

Others barely survive the silence.

In this episode I break down the pattern known as monkey-barring , when someone jumps from one relationship straight into another without ever sitting in the space between.

And why it can feel so personal when it happens to you.

Through a story from my own 7-year relationship, I explore the pattern of people who are always “in love,” the panic that can show up after a breakup, and what it really means when someone replaces connection with relief.

This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered:

Did they actually move on…

or were they just afraid to be alone?

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Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan

Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

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Being replaced can make you question your entire worth.

One moment you’re part of someone’s life … and the next it feels like you’ve been swapped out like you never mattered. And suddenly the question appears:

“Was I just… replaceable?”

In this episode, we explore why being replaced hurts so deeply and the psychological trap our mind falls into after rejection. Because the most painful part is often not what happened … but the meaning we attach to it.

We talk about:

• why being replaced triggers humiliation and self-doubt

• the dangerous story your brain tells after someone moves on fast

• why some people replace instead of repair

• how to stop turning someone else’s behavior into your identity

• and the reframe that helps you stop feeling disposable

Being replaced doesn’t mean you weren’t special.

Sometimes it simply means you were in a place where special things weren’t handled carefully.

If you’ve ever felt like someone moved on too fast ,this episode is for you.

You weren’t replaced. You were misplaced.

Stay connected:

Instagram

@monica_cotolan

@girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

For collaborations or private inquiries:

cotolanmonica41@gmail.com

If this podcast resonates, share it with a woman who needs to hear it.

Support the show

Have you ever felt like you had to be a certain version of yourself to be loved?

In this episode, I’m talking about what it means to perform in relationships , to overgive, overexplain, overachieve just to feel secure. Where that pattern starts, how it shows up quietly, and what it takes to stop tying your worth to how well you’re received.

If you’ve ever felt exhausted from trying to be “enough,” this one is for you.

Stay connected:

Instagram

@monica_cotolan

@girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

For collaborations or private inquiries:

cotolanmonica41@gmail.com

If this podcast resonates, share it with a woman who needs to hear it.

Support the show

At some point, growth stops feeling empowering and starts feeling… quieter.

In this episode, we talk about what happens after you become self-aware when you can’t unsee patterns, can’t romanticize chaos anymore, and can’t go back to the version of you that felt easier to be.

We get into the strange loneliness that comes with emotional clarity, wanting things you know aren’t good for you, and why relationships , and even your personality start to change once you understand yourself more deeply.

This is about the in-between phase:

not who you used to be, but not fully comfortable with who you’re becoming either.

If you’ve ever thought

“I know better… so why do I still feel this?”

this episode is for you.

Welcome to girl, I’ve been thinking.

Follow & connect

Instagram (personal): @monica_cotolan

Podcast Instagram: @girl_ive_been_thinking_podcast

Topics we touch on

• self-awareness & identity shifts

• outgrowing old versions of yourself

• emotional patterns in relationships

• why growth can feel lonely

• the difference between reacting and choosing

• overthinking, attachment & clarity

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