What does it actually look like to find yourself again in midlife—without pressure, perfection, or a full life overhaul? In this episode of Found at 40, Chrissi talks with Leila Howell of My Kind of Glow about identity loss in motherhood, realistic wellness, nervous system regulation, and the small habits that help you feel like yourself again. Leila shares how one deeply relatable “gentle glow-up” reel went viral, and why her message resonated with so many women in their 40s. If you’ve been feeling invisible, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself, this conversation is the reset you didn’t know you needed.

(0:00) ✨ Chrissi shares why Leila’s “gentle glow-up” message hit such a nerve for so many women in midlife

(3:00) 🎥 Leila tells the story behind the reel that went viral—and what was happening in real life when she posted it

(5:00) 🌍 Leila opens up about moving between Australia and Seattle, raising kids, and navigating a major life transition

(8:00) 🎨 How she went from graphic designer to stay-at-home mom to content creator (without planning for any of it)

(10:00) 💥 The moment she realized the typical “glow-up” content wasn’t what she—or other women—actually needed

(12:00) 👻 They talk about identity loss in motherhood and that quiet midlife feeling of “Where did I go?”

(15:00) 🪞 Leila explains what a real midlife glow-up means to her—and why it’s more about self-trust than self-improvement

(19:00) 📱 What it felt like to suddenly grow an audience of women who deeply related to her message

(23:00) 🔁 A conversation about tiny habits, momentum, and how to start feeling better when life already feels full

(27:00) 🧳 Leila shares the emotional side of moving countries, reverse culture shock, and starting over with young kids

(31:00) 🎨 They get into perfectionism, creativity, and why being “bad” at something can actually be healing

(38:00) 🫶 Pillar 1: Leila shares what body respect looks like in midlife (without diet-culture energy)

(40:00) 🌿 Pillar 2: Why nervous system regulation comes before almost everything else

(42:00) 🥗 Pillar 3: What realistic wellness looks like when you’re tired, busy, and in a full season of life

(44:00) 💛 Pillar 4: How self-trust gets rebuilt in small, everyday choices

(46:00) 🚰 Pillar 5: The “life-supporting habits” approach that helps things feel doable (not overwhelming)

(48:00) 🎉 Final Four favorites, funny moments, and what Leila feels she’s truly found after 40

(58:00) 📅 A preview of Leila’s “My Kind of Glow Reset” and the small-steps challenge she’s launching next

Follow Leila on Instagram and TikTok at @mykindofglow_ and stay tuned for her 28 Day Small Steps Guide.

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

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Keywords: midlife reinvention, finding yourself again, midlife glow up, identity loss in motherhood, motherhood and identity, women over 40 wellness, nervous system regulation, realistic self care, self trust in midlife, midlife burnout recovery, gentle habits for women, Atomic Habits for moms, perimenopause wellness habits, starting over at 40, midlife reset for moms

Middle school can feel like emotional whiplash—one minute your kid wants you close, the next you’re getting an eye roll and attitude that makes you wonder, "What is going on?" In this episode, Chrissi sits down with Instagram’s favorite middle school parent coach Bridget KerMorris to unpack what’s really happening beneath the mood swings, disrespect, and constant tech tension—and how parents can stay steady without becoming permissive. You’ll hear why the parent-child relationship is one of the most protective factors in the tween/teen years, plus a practical framework for responding with calm authority (even when you’re triggered). If you’re parenting middle schoolers—especially if big feelings, ADHD, or neurodivergence are part of the picture—this conversation will help you feel more connected, more confident, and less like you’re living inside a daily power struggle.

(1:05) 🎙️ Meet Bridget KerMorris: attorney, therapist + parent coach + mom of seven raising middle schoolers in real time
(3:20) 😬 Why parents dread middle school—and how to turn down the heat at home
(6:10) 🧠 The most protective factor for tweens + teens: the parent-child relationship (and why it’s not “soft”)
(8:05) 🧭 Authority vs. authoritarian: how to hold boundaries without constant power struggles
(10:45) 🧩 Trauma + meaning-making: why what you say (or don’t say) after hard moments matters
(12:40) 📱 Tech rules, phones, Snapchat: how to set limits without your kid hearing “I don’t trust you”
(14:20) 🛑 Pillar 1: The Update Method: how to pause when you’re triggered so you can respond (not react)
(18:00) 🤝 Pillar 2: Accessible, Responsive, Engaged—what secure attachment looks like in middle school
(23:55) 🍉 The “little things” that build connection fast (and why kids never forget them)
(25:30) 🔁 Pillar 3: Repair: teaching accountability + relationship skills after conflict
(27:10) 💡 Pillar 4: Curious relational parenting: helping kids understand their inner world (before adulthood)
(30:40) 🧠 Parenting neurodivergent middle schoolers: rejection sensitivity, emotional dysregulation, and what helps
(37:10) 🌪️ When your kid is constantly moody: how to get back to neutral ground as a family
(42:10) 🧱 Containment + kindness: addressing eye rolls & disrespect without becoming permissive
(48:15) 🗂️ Free guide + Stay Close cards: daily conversation prompts that help your tween open up
(51:45) 🎶 Fun wrap: concerts, celeb look-alike, and what Bridget has “found” in her forties

Follow Bridget on Instagram at @bridget.parentcoach and get your free guide here: 50 Ways I’m Staying Closer to My Middle Schooler

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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: Parenting middle schoolers, middle school parenting tips, how to stay connected to your tween, tween mood swings, handling disrespect from tweens, how to respond when your child is rude, connection-based parenting, attachment-focused parenting, building secure attachment with teens, repairing after a parent-child conflict, setting boundaries with tweens, screen time limits for middle schoolers, phone boundaries for tweens and teens, parenting a neurodivergent child (ADHD/autism), parenting strategies for tweens and teens.

Why does adult friendship feel so much harder than it used to — even when nothing is “wrong”? In this episode, Chrissi and her sister Sarah unpack why loneliness, disconnection, and friendship confusion are so common in midlife, especially for women navigating busy schedules, shifting priorities, and changing seasons of life. They explore how modern life quietly reshaped the way we connect — and why feeling lonely isn’t a personal failure. If you’ve ever wondered why friendship feels emotional, awkward, or exhausting in adulthood, this conversation will help you feel seen, validated, and less alone.

(0:00) ❄️ A cold-weather catch-up and why everyday conversation still matters
(5:00) 🧠 Texting tone, all-caps conflict, and how adult relationships misread intention
(9:00) 🤝 Why adult friendship feels heavier — and why so many women quietly struggle
(12:00) 📉 The loneliness statistics that reveal a major cultural shift
(16:00) ☕ The loss of “third spaces” and how modern life fractured community
(20:00) 🧸 Parenting stages, aging kids, and the disappearance of built-in friendships
(24:00) 🎧 Feeling isolated in public — even when we’re surrounded by people
(28:00) ❤️ The Harvard study that reframes happiness, health, and relationships
(31:00) 🌱 “Medium friends” — why they matter, where they fit, and why they’re confusing
(35:00) 🧭 Wanting to show up without overstepping — and why silence can hurt more
(40:00) 🔄 Friendship bandwidth, emotional energy, and shrinking circles in midlife
(45:00) 🛒 Reimagining friendship through errand friends, shared activities, and low-pressure connection
(48:00) ✨ Final reflections on effort, vulnerability, and what adult friendship really needs

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: adult friendship, loneliness in adulthood, making friends in midlife, female friendship in midlife, why adult friendship is hard, feeling lonely even with friends, modern loneliness epidemic, friendship after 40, losing friends as an adult, third spaces and community, rebuilding friendships in adulthood, emotional labor in friendships, friendship circles and bandwidth, medium friends vs close friends, connection and belonging in midlife

What happens when the life you carefully planned unravels — and you realize that it’s time to rebuild a completely new life? In this episode, Chrissi sits down with lifelong friend Melissa Griffiths (who is also the creator of the food blog Bless This Mess) to unpack a bold midlife pivot, from leaving a dream life behind to starting fresh across the country. Their conversation explores reinvention, resilience, family, community, and the messy magic of choosing change on purpose.

(0:00) 🎙️ Why chosen life pivots can feel scarier than unexpected ones

(2:00) ❄️ From Southern Utah sunshine to snowy Northern Vermont

(5:00) 🏡 Building a dream life with full confidence it would last forever

(8:00) ⚠️ When comfort turns complicated — early signs of change

(11:00) 💔 A major family business shift that changes everything

(15:00) 🧠 Navigating betrayal, grief, stress, and emotional overwhelm

(19:00) 🚚 Searching the country for a new future — and landing on Vermont

(23:00) 🏫 Moving kids, switching schools, and adjusting as a family

(28:00) 🌱 Grieving the old life while building a new one

(33:00) 🧘‍♀️ Nervous system healing, health shifts, and slowing down

(39:00) 🔄 Midlife reinvention, identity changes, and redefining success

(46:00) 👩‍👩‍👧‍👦 Friendship, community, marriage, and intentional living

(52:00) ✨ Advice for anyone at a crossroads — courage, connection, and what’s next

Follow Melissa (and her new Vermont life!) at @blessthismessblog or discover your favorite new recipe at her blog Bless This Mess

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords:

midlife reinvention, major life pivot, starting over at 40, life plan falling apart, midlife career change, family relocation story, moving across the country with kids, redefining success in midlife, healing after major life change, building a new life after loss, resilience in midlife, intentional living at 40, personal growth through change, navigating identity shifts, finding community after a fresh start

Feeling behind in life can feel personal — but spoiler alert: it’s probably not just you. In this episode of Found at 40, Chrissi sits down with Kaley Esselborn to unpack why so many of us feel “off track,” how the psychology of the social clock messes with our confidence, and why outdated life timelines still have way too much influence. Together, they dive into comparison culture, shifting expectations across decades, resilience through life curveballs, and how to finally trust your own pace — without sprinting to keep up with someone else’s timeline.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “behind,” “late,” or somehow doing life wrong, this episode will leave you feeling seen, validated, and a whole lot more confident in your own timeline.

• (0:00) 🎙️ Why feeling behind in life is more common than we admit
• (4:45) 💭 Where timeline pressure begins and how it takes root
• (7:15) ⏳ The psychology of the social clock and why it impacts self-worth
• (12:15) 👀 How culture, community, and upbringing shape life expectations
• (16:45) 🧩 Reflecting on growing up with a “life script”
• (21:15) 📱 Comparison culture, highlight reels, and the illusion of falling behind
• (26:15) 🎬 A surprising pop-culture metaphor for reclaiming personal power
• (31:50) 💡 Listener submissions: When did you feel life you were behind?
• (38:45) ⏰ A look at your 20’s: Breaking down the social clock by decade
• (44:30) 🛠️ A look at your 30’s: Breaking down the social clock by decade
• (48:40) 🧠A look at your 30’s: Breaking down the social clock by decade
• (52:40) 🌱 A closing mindset shift to stop feeling behind and trust your timing

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords:

This episode explores themes around feeling behind in life, the psychology of the social clock, and the pressure of following a traditional life timeline. It dives into comparison culture, what it means to feel off track in life, and how to embrace a late bloomer mindset while rethinking life milestones. The conversation touches on overcoming societal expectations, understanding that you’re not actually behind in life, and building confidence in your own timeline. Listeners will hear insights on navigating a nonlinear life path, managing life progress anxiety, redefining success, learning how to stop comparing yourself, and finding empowerment through personal growth after 40.

Today is a first for the Found at 40 podcast: it’s just Chrissi for a solo mini episode

But not to worry, next week we’ll be back to normally scheduled programming with guests! This week I’m sharing what’s been on my mind lately—the funny little midlife moments, the honest reflections, and the deeper themes I’m seeing emerge from the first stretch of this podcast. I talk about what listeners are telling me they want more of, a perspective shift I can’t stop thinking about, and a look back at where I was in 2016 compared to now. If you’re in a season of reassessing, feeling “in between,” or quietly craving more clarity and belonging, you’ll feel seen here.

(0:00) 💔 The lingering question of adulthood: “Why can’t I find my people?” and why it hits differently in midlife

(0:45) 🎙️ Why this is a solo mini episode and what’s been surfacing for me behind the scenes

(1:30) 🪞 A midlife mirror moment: “Is this just my face now?” and the humor + honesty of noticing change

(2:30) 🔋 The reality of doing this work solo and what sustainability actually looks like right now

(3:20) 📈 What’s surprised me most from listeners so far and the themes people are craving

(4:10) 🧩 Friendship, inclusion, and belonging — and why midlife changes how these experiences land

(6:45) ⚡ A perspective shift I can’t stop thinking about: why forced inclusion doesn’t create real belonging

(10:00) 🎭 The importance of messy, human stories — the ones that make us laugh because they’re true

(12:30) 📸 Looking back at 2016 vs now: what that season taught me, what’s changed, and what no longer fits

(18:00) 🤍 Closing reflections on midlife as a reassessment — not a crisis — and letting this season unfold without rushing clarity

Here is the link to the Dear Nina episode I mentioned: Listen more here

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords:

midlife transition, midlife reassessment, women over 40, identity shifts in midlife, feeling in between seasons, belonging vs inclusion, loneliness in midlife, adult friendship changes, personal growth after 40, midlife reflection, life reassessment, motherhood and identity, navigating change in midlife, emotional shifts after 40, finding clarity in midlife

Midlife marriage isn’t broken—it’s being asked to evolve. In this honest, funny, and deeply relatable conversation, Chrissi and her guest Heather Adams talk about what happens when long-term love collides with kids, aging parents, health scares, and the quiet realization that marriage can’t run on autopilot anymore. They explore why the middle years can actually become the richest season of a relationship, and how intentional habits, better communication, and shared vision can transform even the busiest, messiest stage of life. If you’re navigating marriage in your 40s or 50s and craving deeper connection, this episode will leave you feeling hopeful, seen, and inspired.

(0:00) 💬 Why midlife marriage feels different—and why that shift can be a gift, not a problem

(4:00) 🏖️ A chance meeting, a big move, and the unexpected beginnings of a long-term love story

(8:00) 🧠 The unspoken stories couples carry—and how assumptions quietly create distance

(11:00) ❤️ Why emotional and physical intimacy can actually get better with time

(14:00) 🔄 What it means to grow into yourself—and how that changes your marriage

(16:00) 🫀 A health crisis that redefined priorities, presence, and partnership

(19:00) 📅 The weekly ritual that protects connection when life is full and chaotic

(23:00) 🏡 Why so many couples drift into roommate mode after kids—and how to avoid it

(27:00) 🌅 Turning the empty-nest transition into an opportunity instead of a crisis

(31:00) 🎯 Dreaming about the next 20 years and creating a shared vision for your marriage

(35:00) 🤝 How surrounding yourself with strong marriages shapes your own relationship

(41:00) 🧓 Navigating aging parents, caregiving, and the emotional weight of midlife together

(45:00) 🫶 Brené Brown’s powerful reminder about unequal seasons and why marriage is never 50/50

(48:00) 📺 What This Is Us teaches about supporting your partner instead of trying to fix them

(51:00) 🗣️ The four simple questions that help couples stay connected and avoid resentment

(55:00) 🌿 Breaking old family patterns and choosing a healthier, more intentional future together

(57:00) ✨ Why long-term love isn’t about perfection—but about grace, effort, and choosing each other

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

Keywords: midlife marriage, long-term marriage advice, marriage after kids, reconnecting with your spouse, how to strengthen your marriage, marriage in your 40s and 50s, emotional intimacy in marriage, staying connected in a busy life, intentional marriage, communication in long-term relationships, marriage during midlife transitions, how to avoid growing apart, rebuilding connection with your partner, balancing family and marriage, thriving in midlife relationships

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, I did everything I was supposed to do… so why doesn’t this feel better?

In this episode, I’m joined by writer and cultural voice Amil Niazi for a candid, relatable conversation about her new memoir “Life Beyond Ambition” (out January 6!) and dive into not just ambition, but burnout and the moment you realize that chasing “success” doesn’t always deliver the fulfillment it promised. We dig into what happens when the timelines, expectations, and definitions of achievement we grew up with start to crack — and how freeing it can be when they do.

✨ (0:00) — Why feeling “behind in life” is so common (and so rarely talked about)

📖 (4:30) — A look at Amil’s early life and how ambition became a survival strategy

🏃‍♀️ (8:30) — Hustle culture, scrappy early jobs, and saying yes to everything just to get ahead

🧠 (13:00) — The myth of meritocracy and why “working harder” doesn’t level the playing field

⏳ (17:00) — The millennial career crisis and realizing the playbook we were sold no longer works

🔥 (21:30) — Burnout, box-checking, and why success doesn’t feel the way we expected it to

🧩 (25:30) — Letting go of exceptionalism and questioning why “average” feels like a failure

👩‍👧 (29:30) — Motherhood, ambition, and the impossible standard of doing everything perfectly

🌍 (33:30) — Pandemic life, shrinking worlds, and the unexpected freedom of “only enough”

💭 (36:30) — Redefining ambition, identity, and self-worth beyond productivity

🛋️ (38:30) — What rest really looks like in midlife (and why modeling it matters)

🌱 (41:00) — Life after ambition: choosing contentment, presence, and a different definition of success

___________________________

🪩 Find Amil on Instagram at @amilniazi and order your own copy of Life After Ambition here

🥽 Dive into the Millennial Career Crisis discussion on Instagram: @janelabrahami

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40

_____________________

keywords: midlife reinvention, millennial burnout, life after ambition, redefining success, hustle culture recovery, burnout and motherhood, working mom identity, letting go of exceptionalism, the millennial career crisis, ambition vs fulfillment, productivity and self-worth, midlife identity shift, redefining ambition in midlife, choosing “good enough,” contentment over achievement