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In Part Two of this informative conversation, I sit down again with estate lawyer Gordon VanderLeek, founder of VanderLeek Law, to unpack the legal and practical realities of securing a forever home for our children with disabilities.

If you think buying the right house is the hard part — think again.

Gordon walks us through the integrated planning that must happen behind the scenes to truly protect your child’s future. From tax implications to vulnerability risks, from Trusteeship to roommate agreements, this episode is full of insight every parent needs to hear.

In This Episode We Cover:

• The most common mistakes families make when purchasing or transferring a home
• Why “just putting the house in your child’s name” can create serious long-term risks
• How Canada’s principal residence exemption factors into planning
• Why tax should never be the first priority — protection should
• How to legally structure living arrangements with roommates or support workers
• The importance of written agreements (even when everyone gets along)
• What happens when parents are no longer able to advocate
• Creating a Letter of Wishes or roadmap document to guide future caregivers
• Passing on financial knowledge (banking, bills, supports) before it’s needed
• Whether a Henson Trust can own property in Alberta — and how that works
• How Trustees should be empowered to manage repairs, renovations, or sale of the home
• Ensuring there are enough funds in the Trust to support not just housing — but the whole life

Gordon also reminds us that a Trust is not just a tax tool — it’s a protective structure. And planning isn’t just about legal documents; it’s about transferring knowledge.

One of the most practical takeaways?
Start small. Open a document. Write one paragraph. Add to it over time. A roadmap doesn’t need to be perfect — it just needs to exist.

Because when crisis hits, the worst time to figure this out is after the funeral.

Final Encouragement

You do not have to do this alone.
Bring in professionals. Talk to other parents. Build your circle. Refine your plan over time.

Peace of mind comes from preparation — not perfection.

If this episode helped you think differently about your child’s forever home, share it with another parent who needs this conversation.

Connect with Gordon VanderLeek

• Website: vanderleeklaw.ca
• Disability Advocacy Services: disabilityadvocates.ca

· https://facebook.com/vanderleeklaw

· https://www.linkedin.com/company/vanderleeklaw

· https://www.instagram.com/vanderleek_law/

Connect with Valerie

info@foreverhomeconsulting.ca

Music Acknowledgement: Audio Coffee - Denys Kyshchuk

Editor: Scott Arbeau

Link for book: The S.H.I.N.E. Principle: The special needs mom's path to strength, hope and happiness by Valerie Arbeau

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CW18ZXGX (Canada)

https://a.co/d/03hFdZI4 (United States)

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/

Send us a text

Episode Overview

In this episode, Valerie sits down with Al Neary, a mobility and rehabilitation expert with nearly 40 years of experience, to discuss how thoughtful equipment choices and home planning can support dignity, independence, and long-term quality of life for individuals with disabilities.

Al shares practical insights for families navigating wheelchairs, seating, bathing, transfers, and home modifications—along with powerful stories that reframe mobility from limitation to possibility.

Meet Al Neary

• Founder and president of Maximum Mobility (est. 2007)
• Calgary native and longtime volunteer with CADS – Canadian Adaptive Snow Sports
• Specializes in pediatric and complex rehabilitation equipment
• Passionate advocate for function, safety, and inclusion

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Mobility Is More Than a Wheelchair
A wheelchair is just one part of daily independence. Al explains the importance of complementary equipment such as lifts, commodes, shower chairs, hospital beds, grab bars, and change tables—to keep both individuals and caregivers safe.

Why Proper Seating Matters
Comfort, positioning, and support directly impact function, energy, and dignity. Al explains how customized seating enables independence and reduces physical and mental fatigue.

Follow-Up & Maintenance (Especially in Alberta)

• Pediatric equipment is reviewed regularly due to growth
• Adult equipment is user-driven—vendors cannot initiate follow-ups
• Families must track replacement timelines through AADL
• Routine servicing extends equipment life and improves daily function

Bathrooms, Transfers & Home Design
Commonly overlooked areas include:

• Bathroom size and layout
• True roll-in showers (no lip)
• Space for commode access
• Lighting, doorway width, and transfer zones

Early planning—before drywall or final layouts—can save money and stress.

Future-Proofing the Forever Home
Al emphasizes:

• Zero-threshold entries
• Wider doorways
• Ceiling lift planning
• Multiple accessible exits for safety

Accessible design can be beautiful, functional, and a strong resale asset.

Reframing Mobility
Mobility equipment is a tool, not a setback. Al shares moving stories of children gaining independence, inclusion, and confidence through the right supports.

“It’s not about what someone can’t do—it’s about giving them the tools to participate.”

Key Takeaways

• Think long-term, not just for today
• Involve professionals early
• Plan for growth, aging, and caregiver safety
• Focus on dignity, function, and inclusion
• 
  

Live with intention. Embrace the journey.
Thank you for listening to Forever Home for Our Kids with Disabilities.

Connect with Al Neary

🌐 www.maxmobility.ca
📞 403-769-6166
📧 ALN@maxmobility.ca

Connect with Valerie

info@foreverhomeconsulting.ca

Music Acknowledgement: Audio Coffee - Denys Kyshchuk

Editor: Scott Arbeau

Link for book: The S.H.I.N.E. Principle: The special needs mom's path to strength, hope and happiness by Valerie Arbeau

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CW18ZXGX (Canada)

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/

Send us a text

Episode Summary

In this powerful and deeply validating episode, Valerie is joined by Dr. Theresa Lyons—international autism educator, Ivy League scientist, and autism parent—for an honest conversation about the hidden toll of parenting a child with autism, the emerging science around parent PTSD, and the hope found in evidence-based supports.

Dr. Lyons shares her personal journey following her daughter’s autism diagnosis and reflects on the lack of clear guidance parents often receive—even years later. Together, Valerie and Dr. Lyons explore the reality of chronic stress, trauma, and nervous system dysregulation experienced by many parents, and why acknowledging this is not a failure of love, but an act of care.

Key Topics Covered

• New 2025 research linking autism parenting stress to PTSD diagnoses
• Why parent trauma remains a taboo topic—and why that must change
• How EMDR therapy helps parents process trauma and restore regulation
• The critical role of sleep, breathing, and nervous system support
• Leucovorin explained: the science, testing (FRAT), benefits, and controversy
• Evidence-based approaches vs. fear-driven decision-making
• Including children and young adults with disabilities in housing decisions
• Real-life examples of supported independence and forever homes
• The profound impact of AAC on communication, advocacy, and identity
• Letting go as an act of love: roots, wings, and dignity in adulthood

Notable Takeaways

• Trauma can occur without blame—and it can be healed
• Parents need support systems, not just child-focused interventions
• Independence often unlocks communication, confidence, and joy
• Planning a forever home creates continuity, security, and peace of mind
• Parenting may not look as imagined—but it can be even more meaningful

*** Listen to season 2 episode 13 to hear Ishan Manerikar’s story of moving out from his parents’ home.

Closing Reflection

This episode is a reminder that caring for yourself is not separate from caring for your child—and that with intention, planning, and support, families can move from survival to sustainability.

Connect Theresa Lyons

https://navigatingawetism.com/

https://awetism.net/

Connect with Valerie

info@foreverhomeconsulting.ca

Music Acknowledgement: Audio Coffee - Denys Kyshchuk

Editor: Scott Arbeau

Link for book: The S.H.I.N.E. Principle: The special needs mom's path to strength, hope and happiness by Valerie Arbeau

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0CW18ZXGX (Canada)

https://a.co/d/03hFdZI4 (United States)

Learn more about your host at:
https://coachingwithvalerieanne.com/