Episode 18: Why Does “Being Nice” Feel Safer at Work?

Why does “being nice” feel safer at work?

In this solo episode of Not Another PD, I explore people-pleasing through a different lens, not as a personality trait, but as a stress response.

I unpack the fawn response, a lesser-discussed nervous system response alongside fight, flight and freeze, and why it shows up so commonly for helping professionals.

This episode isn’t about naming or shaming.
It’s about understanding context, safety, and the systems many of us work within.

I talk through:

• How the fawn response shows up as over-agreeing, avoidance, blurred boundaries and people-pleasing

• Why helping professionals are particularly vulnerable to this response

• The role of gendered expectations and socialisation in care-based professions

• How unsafe, unpredictable, or unsupportive leadership environments can activate people-pleasing

• A real example from my own career, and how I would respond differently now

• How to recognise the fawn response through body cues, thoughts and behaviours

• Gentle ways to interrupt the pattern through awareness, reflection and support

This conversation applies to both professional and personal contexts, because nervous systems don’t switch off when work ends.

If this resonates, you’re welcome to send me a DM and let me know where you notice people-pleasing or the fawn response showing up for you.

You can also explore my self-paced Boundaries as Practitioners training or learn more about group supervision options for practitioners and leaders.

Boundaries as Practitioners (self-paced training)

Group supervision with me in 2026

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Stillman, M., Sullivan, E. E., Prasad, K., Sinsky, C. A., et al. (2024). Understanding what leaders can do to facilitate healthcare workers’ feeling valued. BMJ Leader.

Jobs and Skills Australia — Social Workers occupational profile