SUMMARY - Many parenting struggles with neurodivergent kids don’t come down to behavior, they come from a clash between deeply held parental values and a child’s brain-based capacities. In this episode, Eileen explores what happens when beliefs about “good parenting” collide with asynchronous development, emotional regulation challenges, and inconsistent cognitive skills. You’ll learn why pushing harder often backfires and how shifting from a behavior lens to a Brain First lens allows your parental values to actually take root.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Parenting frustration often lives at the intersection of adult values and a child’s neurobiology, not a lack of effort or care.
• Chronological age does not equal ability for kids with brain-based differences; uneven skill development changes what’s reasonable to expect.
• You don’t need to abandon your parental values, you need to adjust how you teach them so they align with your child’s cognitive skills.
• You cannot consequence a skill into existence; responsibility develops through repeated teaching, regulation, and scaffolding.
• Flexibility in rules and expectations is not permissive parenting, it’s responsive parenting that reduces power struggles and supports growth.

RESOURCES:

Your Lens Matters – Free downloadable infographic

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