Ep. 16: Never Leave Your Wingman Behind, with Nicole Malachowski

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Ep. 16: Never Leave Your Wingman Behind, with Nicole Malachowski

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In the season finale of the now award-winning Lies My Ego Told Me, Lilo sits down with her longtime hero, Colonel (Ret.) Nicole “FiFi” Malachowski — the first woman to fly with the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds. What begins as a story of breaking barriers in the F-15E Strike Eagle becomes a raw account of institutional betrayal, medical gaslighting, and the years Nicole spent fighting for an accurate diagnosis after tick-borne illness left her bedridden. This conversation explores how she turned that devastation into advocacy, becoming a powerful wingman for patients with chronic Lyme.

More about this episode:

Who is Nicole “FiFi” Malachowski?
Nicole Malachowski is a retired U.S. Air Force Colonel, the first woman to fly with the Thunderbirds, a combat-proven F-15E Strike Eagle pilot, a former White House fellow, and a national advocate for tick-borne illness patients.

What happened to Nicole after her tick bites?
Nicole developed over 60 symptoms, experienced cognitive decline, paralysis, and periods resembling locked-in syndrome. Despite clear signs of Lyme disease, she was repeatedly dismissed by doctors and endured 24+ specialist visits before receiving a correct diagnosis.

Why did Nicole feel abandoned by the Air Force and the medical system?
Nicole was told her symptoms were psychosomatic, advised to “retire,” and left without support during two years bedridden. Her final years in uniform were marked by institutional gaslighting, a lack of follow-up, and a retirement handled without ceremony or acknowledgment.

How did she turn her experience into advocacy?
Nicole helped shape Air Force policy on complex medical conditions, became a keynote speaker, and co-authored a National Academies of Sciences report that officially recognizes Lyme infection–associated chronic illness.

What can friends or colleagues do to support someone with chronic illness?
Nicole emphasizes simple acts: consistent check-ins, listening without judgment, learning about the illness, helping the caregiver, and showing up without waiting to be asked.

Resources & Links

NicoleMalachowski.com – Advocacy, speaking, and resources
LivLymeFoundation.org – Tick-borne illness support
LymeDisease.org – Research, education, and patient tools
Show: Lies My Ego Told Me
- Episode page, resources, and links: liesmyego.com
- Leave a 5-star rating and written review on Apple Podcasts to support the show.

For more resources: liesmyego.com

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