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Why does desire change so much over time — and what happens when the spark starts to fade?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, Dr Jonathan Marshall and I speak to Louise Sullivan and Dr Angela Tan about desire, arousal, chemistry and what it really takes to maintain intimacy in long-term relationships.

We explore the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, why mismatched libido is so common, how stress and hormones affect attraction, and why couples often misinterpret a drop in desire as a sign that something is wrong with the relationship.

In This Episode

* The difference between desire and arousal
* Why spontaneous desire often changes over time
* What responsive desire really means
* Why couples experience mismatched libido
* Whether you can genuinely get the spark back
* How stress, hormones and daily life affect desire
* The importance of communication and emotional safety
* Why novelty does not have to mean something extreme
* How to create more intimacy in long-term relationships
* The impact of social media on body image and sexuality

Key Takeaways

* Desire and arousal are not the same thing.
* A drop in desire does not automatically mean a relationship is failing.
* Responsive desire is common, especially in long-term relationships.
* Couples need to understand each other’s “brakes” and “accelerators”.
* Stress can make it much harder to access pleasure and connection.
* Intimacy depends heavily on feeling safe enough to communicate honestly.
* Novelty can be as simple as curiosity, touch and breaking familiar routines.

Conclusion

Long-term desire may not look like the intense chemistry of a new relationship, but that does not mean it has disappeared.

Sometimes the spark is not gone. It simply needs to be understood differently.

Keywords: desire, arousal, libido, intimacy, long-term relationships, sexual wellness, responsive desire, chemistry, relationships, sex and relationships, emotional intimacy, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #Desire #Intimacy #Relationships #SexualWellness #Libido #EmotionalIntimacy #LongTermRelationships #Connection

Guests:
Dr Jonathan Marshall, Clinical Psychologist, Marshall Consulting
Louise Sullivan, Somatic Coach & Sexologist Bodyworker
Dr Angela Tan, Medical Doctor & Sexual Wellness Specialist

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What happens to your confidence when the career, status or success you built your identity around suddenly disappears?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Jonathan Marshall, Simon J. Littlewood and Samir Kothari to explore how job loss, unemployment, financial setbacks and failure can affect confidence, identity and self-worth.

In This Episode

* Why career setbacks feel so personal
* How unemployment and rejection affect confidence
* The difference between confidence and self-worth
* Rebuilding after job loss or financial failure
* Whether setbacks make us stronger
* How to move forward when your original plan no longer works

Key Takeaways

* Your job is part of your identity, but it should not define your entire worth.
* Repeated setbacks can seriously damage confidence.
* Supportive people, positive routines and challenging negative self-talk can help you rebuild.
* Failure does not automatically make you stronger, but it can become an important teacher.
* Sometimes recovery means changing direction rather than returning to what you had before.

Conclusion

Confidence is easy when life is going well.

The real test comes when things fall apart and you have to find the courage to keep going.

Keywords: confidence, resilience, career setback, job loss, unemployment, failure, self-worth, career change, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #Confidence #Resilience #CareerSetbacks #JobLoss #SelfWorth #CareerAdvice #PersonalGrowth

Guests:
Dr Jonathan Marshall, Clinical Psychologist, Marshall Consulting
Simon J. Littlewood, Journalist & Best-Selling Author
Samir Kothari, Fund Manager

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If you truly love animals, should you always adopt rather than buy?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Ronina Stevens, Victoria Toy and Kim Norman to explore the emotional, ethical and practical debate around adopting pets versus buying them from breeders or pet shops.


We discuss why people still choose to buy pets when shelters are full, the difference between ethical breeders and puppy mills, the realities of adopting rescue animals, and whether people fully understand the time, cost and responsibility involved in bringing a pet into their lives.

In This Episode

* Why people choose to buy rather than adopt
* The difference between ethical breeders and puppy mills
* Whether certain breeds are chosen for image or status
* Why shelters can sometimes make adoption difficult
* The real cost of owning a pet
* What first-time adopters should expect
* The psychological benefits of living with animals
* Why rescue animals may need extra patience and time
* Whether pets are becoming more central to our emotional lives
* The importance of choosing a pet intentionally, not impulsively

Key Takeaways

* Buying a pet is not automatically unethical, but where and how you buy matters.
* Ethical breeders should prioritise animal welfare over profit.
* Rescue animals are not necessarily unhealthy or difficult.
* Pet ownership involves ongoing costs, time, vet care and lifestyle changes.
* Some rescue animals need time to build trust, but that process can be incredibly rewarding.
* Shelters and adopters both benefit when the match is realistic and well thought through.
* Whether you adopt or buy, the biggest question is whether you can genuinely meet the animal’s needs for the long term.

Conclusion

Adopting a pet can save a life, but responsible pet ownership goes far beyond the decision to adopt or buy.

It means understanding the commitment, doing your research and making sure the choice is right for both you and the animal.

Keywords: adopt don’t shop, pet adoption, rescue dogs, animal rescue, buying pets, ethical breeders, puppy mills, rescue animals, pet ownership, animal welfare, dog adoption, pet responsibility, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #AdoptDontShop #PetAdoption #AnimalRescue #AnimalWelfare #RescueDogs #PetOwnership #Dogs #Cats #ResponsiblePetOwnership

Guests:
Dr Ronina Stevens, Clinical Psychologist, The Other Clinic
Victoria Toy, Lawyer
Kim Norman, Legal Business Development

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People Pleasing: When Being Nice Starts Costing You

When does being kind and considerate cross the line into constantly putting everyone else first?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Ronina Stevens, Simon J. Littlewood and Jasmin Dhillon to explore why some people feel such a strong need to please others, where that pattern begins, and what it can cost us in our careers, relationships and sense of self.

We discuss why people pleasers often struggle to say no, avoid conflict, overwork, take on too much and find it difficult to advocate for themselves. We also look at how these patterns can show up in leadership, relationships and family dynamics, and why setting boundaries can initially feel selfish or uncomfortable.

In This Episode

* Where people pleasing begins
* Why childhood and family dynamics can shape the need to be liked
* How cultural expectations can reinforce people pleasing
* Why people pleasers are vulnerable to burnout
* The impact of weak boundaries at work
* Why people pleasers may struggle with salary negotiations and promotions
* How people pleasing can affect romantic relationships
* Why some people stay in unhappy relationships for too long
* The connection between guilt, conflict avoidance and self-sacrifice
* How to start saying no without feeling like a bad person

Key Takeaways

* Being kind is not the same as abandoning your own needs.
* People pleasing often begins as a way to maintain connection, approval or peace.
* Constantly saying yes can lead to resentment, exhaustion and burnout.
* Boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you are used to putting others first.
* Saying no becomes easier with practice.
* You do not need to over-explain every boundary you set.
* Healthy relationships require give and take, not constant self-sacrifice.
* Sometimes the first step is starting small and practising boundaries in lower-stakes situations.

Conclusion

You can be caring, generous and supportive without sacrificing yourself in the process.

The challenge is learning where kindness ends and self-abandonment begins.

Sometimes the most important person you need to stop disappointing is yourself.

Keywords: people pleasing, boundaries, saying no, self-worth, burnout, relationships, conflict avoidance, people pleaser, self-care, emotional wellbeing, toxic relationships, workplace boundaries, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #MentalHealth #SelfWorth #Burnout #Relationships #SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #Wellbeing

Guests:
Dr Ronina Stevens, Clinical Psychologist, The Other Clinic
Simon J. Littlewood, Journalist & Best-Selling Author
Jasmin Dhillon, Integrated Health Coach

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Being made redundant can feel deeply personal, even when you know it is a business decision.

The shock, shame and stress of losing your job can make it incredibly difficult to think clearly — yet that is often the exact moment you are expected to review documents, understand your rights and negotiate your exit package.

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Jonathan Marshall, Renee Conklin and Dr Tang Bek Wuay to explore the emotional and practical realities of redundancy, from how companies should handle difficult exit conversations to what employees can negotiate beyond severance pay.

In This Episode

* Why redundancy can feel like rejection or betrayal
* How companies can make exit meetings more compassionate
* What to do if you are too shocked to think clearly
* Why you should never sign documents without reading them properly
* What you may be able to negotiate beyond cash
* Bonuses, notice periods, medical benefits, visas and deferred compensation
* When it may be worth speaking to an employment lawyer
* Why “non-negotiable” does not always mean there is no room to ask
* The emotional impact of redundancy
* How to talk about redundancy with future employers

Key Takeaways

* A redundancy decision is about a role, not your personal worth.
* Try to gather as much information as possible before agreeing to anything.
* If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
* Exit packages may include much more than severance pay, including benefits, notice periods, bonuses, repatriation, visa arrangements and outplacement support.
* Be specific about what you are asking for and why it matters to you.
* Read every document carefully, especially restrictive clauses such as non-competes.
* If redundancy seriously affects your ability to function day to day, professional support can be important.

Conclusion

Redundancy is one of the most stressful career experiences a person can go through.

But even in that difficult moment, understanding your options, knowing what to ask for and protecting your interests can make a significant difference to what happens next.

Keywords: redundancy, retrenchment, severance package, redundancy negotiation, job loss, employment rights, exit package, career advice, HR advice, redundancy meeting, non-compete clause, job search, workplace mental health, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #Redundancy #JobLoss #CareerAdvice #HR #Severance #Employment #Workplace #CareerChange #MentalHealth #JobSearch

Guests:
Dr Jonathan Marshall, Clinical Psychologist, Marshall Consulting
Renee Conklin, HR Career Coach
Dr Tang Bek Wuay, Organisational Psychology

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Why are so many women still expected to manage menopause quietly while performing at the highest level of their careers?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Ronina Stevens, Clinical Psychologist at The Other Clinic; Latha Prasad, Corporate Change Consultant; and Kathleen Ngkaion, International School Administrator, to talk openly about menopause in the workplace, the impact it can have on confidence and performance, and why so many women still feel misunderstood, judged or unsupported.

We explore the physical and emotional reality of perimenopause and menopause, from sleep disruption, brain fog and anxiety to heavy periods, fatigue and reduced confidence, and ask why these symptoms are still so often treated as a personal problem rather than a workplace issue.
In This Episode

* Why menopause is still taboo in many workplaces
* How symptoms can affect concentration, confidence and job performance
* Why women may be wrongly perceived as less capable
* The impact of sleep deprivation, brain fog and anxiety
* Why some women leave senior roles during menopause
* Whether menopause policies are actually meaningful
* The role of ageism and sexism at work
* Why support and flexibility matter
* How employers can create more inclusive workplaces

Key Takeaways

* Menopause symptoms do not mean a woman has become less competent.
* Lack of awareness can lead to symptoms being mistaken for poor performance. EDACCE1 11am 22nd April 2026 - V3.txt
* Workplace policies need to offer practical support, not just acknowledgement.
* Flexibility, understanding and open conversations can make a significant difference.
* Women should not have to hide what they are going through to appear “professional”.
* Education and support can help women feel more empowered and less isolated.

Conclusion

Menopause is a normal stage of life, yet many women still feel pressure to go through it invisibly.

The question is not whether women can continue to perform at work. It is whether workplaces are willing to create the conditions that allow them to do so.

Guests:
Ella Sherman, Creative Writer, Lotusland Productions
Dr Ronina Stevens, Clinical Psychologist, The Other Clinic
Latha Prasad, Corporate Change Consultant
Kathleen Ngkaion, International School Administrator

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Did working from home give employees their lives back — or did it quietly damage collaboration, learning and workplace culture?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, we explore one of the biggest workplace battles of the post-pandemic era: work from home versus return to office. Is the debate really about productivity — or is it about trust, control and how senior leaders believe work should look?

Dr Ronina Stevens and I sat down with Andrew Goldstein and Jeff Paine to discuss whether hybrid working is here to stay, why some leaders are still pushing employees back into offices, and whether younger workers are missing vital opportunities to learn, build relationships and develop their careers.

In This Episode

* Is working from home more productive?
* Why some CEOs still want everyone back in the office
* Whether remote work is really a trust issue
* The hidden cost of commuting
* Why younger employees may benefit from office time
* How remote work affects mental health and isolation
* AI, remote working and the future of jobs
* Why hybrid working may offer the best of both worlds

Key Takeaways

* Where someone works matters less than whether clear goals and outcomes are being achieved.
* Remote work can improve flexibility and quality of life, but it can also reduce informal learning and connection.
* Long commutes can significantly affect energy, wellbeing and work-life balance.
* Office culture still has value — particularly for mentoring, relationships and collaboration.
* There is unlikely to be one working model that suits every role, industry or employee.

Conclusion

The working world has changed — and employees increasingly expect flexibility.

The question now isn’t simply office or home. It’s whether companies can create a working model built around results, trust and what people actually need to perform at their best.

Keywords: work from home, return to office, hybrid working, remote work, future of work, workplace productivity, employee wellbeing, office culture, work life balance, remote workers, workplace flexibility, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #WorkFromHome #RemoteWork #HybridWorking #FutureOfWork #WorkplaceCulture #Leadership #EmployeeWellbeing #WorkLifeBalance #Productivity

Guests:
Dr Ronina Stevens, Clinical Psychologist, The Other Clinic
Victoria Toy, Lawyer
Jeff Paine, PS Engage Government Relations for Tech Industry

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What if waiting to feel confident is the very thing keeping you stuck?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, we explore why body confidence often doesn’t come first — action does. Small, consistent choices can help rebuild self-belief, energy and a healthier relationship with your body after a period of feeling disconnected or neglecting yourself. Dr Jonathan and I sat down with Amanda Lim, Metabolic Health Coach, and CK Karkhanis, Celebrity Hair Stylist, to explore body confidence, healthy habits and the small changes that can help people feel better in themselves.

One of the key ideas in the conversation is simple: you don’t wait until you feel confident to start. You start, and confidence follows.

In This Episode

* Why action often comes before confidence
* The power of taking small, realistic steps
* How consistency helps rebuild self-belief
* Why sleep should be one of the first habits you fix
* The importance of working with your natural rhythm
* Why extreme routines aren’t always necessary

Key Takeaways

* Confidence is built through action, not waiting.
* Small habits are often more sustainable than dramatic changes.
* Better sleep can improve how you feel physically and mentally.
* Consistency matters more than perfection.
* You don’t need to overhaul your whole life to begin feeling better.

Conclusion

If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your body or frustrated with yourself, the answer may not be a huge transformation.

Sometimes it starts with one small decision, repeated consistently.

Keywords: body confidence, healthy habits, self-confidence, consistency, sleep, wellbeing, fitness motivation, body image, self-care, lifestyle change, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #BodyConfidence #HealthyHabits #Wellbeing #SelfConfidence #Sleep #Lifestyle #FitnessMotivation #SelfCare

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