You are pouring yourself out every single day. But into whose cup?

In this powerful conversation inspired by Derek Thompson, Justin and Kylie explore a simple metaphor that will stop you mid-scroll: every morning you wake with a full jug of water. By night, it’s empty. The only question that matters is where it went.

Work. News. Regret. Netflix. Anxiety. Group chats. Your kids. Your marriage.

Attention never lies. It reveals what we truly value.

If you’ve been feeling depleted, resentful, stretched thin — this episode will gently realign you with what actually matters.

Because tomorrow morning?
The jug refills.

KEY POINTS

• The “Cup Game” metaphor and why you’re playing it whether you realise it or not
• Why attention is your most honest measure of values
• The hidden cost of pouring into cups that don’t matter
• Why good things can still drain you
• A simple end-of-day question that changes everything
• How to reset — even if you’ve been “losing” the game for years

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Attention never lies. It reveals what we truly value.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Derek Thompson Substack article: Whose Cup Are You Filling?
• Stephen Covey – “The things that matter most should never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. At the end of today, ask: Whose cup did I fill?
2. Notice one cup that received too much water.
3. Choose one relationship that gets first pour tomorrow.
4. When you feel depleted at 4pm, take one small intentional step toward connection.
5. Remember: the jug refills in the morning.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if your child’s resistance isn’t laziness… but fear?

In this heartfelt Friday “I’ll Do Better Tomorrow” episode of the The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie unpack a powerful parenting moment: an 11-year-old who didn’t want to try the 6am surf class — and the surprising truth behind her pushback.

This episode is about competence, courage, friendship, and why slowing down might be the most important thing we do for our kids (and ourselves).

If you’ve ever pushed, pulled, or panicked when your child resisted something new — this one will land.

KEY POINTS

• Why “I don’t want to” often masks “What if I look dumb?”
• The hidden power of friendships in building confidence
• How to use a “soft entry” instead of forcing commitment
• The sweet spot of growth (hello, zone of proximal development)
• Why parents need protected, screen-free stillness
• The family lesson we forgot after COVID

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Sometimes our kids’ trepidation is less about the activity… and more about feeling incompetent.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Justin’s books and parenting resources at happyfamilies.com.au
• Research behind capability, autonomy and competence (Self-Determination Theory)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Offer a one-time trial instead of a full commitment
• Look for the fear underneath the resistance
• Pair new challenges with trusted friends
• Protect one quiet hour this week — no screens, no rushing
• Let your child grow at the edge of their capability, not beyond it

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When your child says “I can’t do this” and wants to quit right now… what do you do?

Whether it’s maths, piano, friendships, or riding a bike, kids hit the wall. They avoid. They melt down. They take their bat and ball and go home.

But what if that uncomfortable moment isn’t failure… it’s the doorway to growth?

In this episode, we unpack the powerful reframe that helps kids push through frustration, build resilience, and experience real progress — without shame, pressure, or lectures.

This one shift changes everything.

KEY POINTS

• Why avoidance feels good — and why it holds kids back
• The two dimensions of emotion and what they mean for learning
• The “Learning Zone” reframe that transforms frustration
• Why purpose matters more than pressure
• The three drivers of motivation: relationships, choice, and competence
• Why discomfort is often the signal that growth is about to happen
• When pushing through is healthy — and when it’s not

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Discomfort isn’t the enemy. It’s the signal that growth is about to happen.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Man's Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Check relevance first – Does this challenge actually matter?
2. Name the Learning Zone – Help your child recognise discomfort as growth.
3. Strengthen connection – Struggle feels heavier when kids feel alone.
4. Support competence – Break tasks into smaller wins.
5. Focus on purpose – A strong “why” makes the “how” bearable.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Teenagers are riding at 70km/h with no helmets. Police are investigating. Communities are furious. Parents are terrified.

E-bikes are everywhere — and the debate is explosive. Is this about reckless teens? Bad laws? Or something far closer to home?

In this episode, Dr Justin Colson from the Happy Families podcast unpacks the real issue behind the headlines. It’s not just about e-bikes. It’s about freedom, responsibility, and the parenting conversations we’re either having… or avoiding.

Because banning them won’t fix it.
But shrugging won’t either.

If you’ve got a risk-taking teen — or one who soon will — this is a conversation you need to hear.

KEY POINTS

• Freedom without responsibility becomes a free-for-all
• Risk is essential for development — recklessness is not
• Pedal-assist bikes and throttle bikes are not the same
• Legislation won’t solve what parenting must address
• Teens chase status, thrill and belonging — not danger
• The real missing ingredient is consideration

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Freedom isn’t the same as a free-for-all. The real issue isn’t the e-bike — it’s whether we’re teaching our kids what freedom requires.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Have the deeper conversation.
   Not just “be careful.” Ask: Who could you hurt? What does sharing space mean?
2. Differentiate risk from recklessness.
   Climbing trees builds capability. Blowing through traffic signals destroys trust.
3. Talk about invisible impact.
   Help them imagine the pedestrian, the driver, the nurse in emergency.
4. Channel thrill safely.
   Structured sport, competitions and supervised challenges can meet the same need.
5. Stay connected.
   Consequences matter — but relationship influence matters more.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your child lies. You catch them. They double down. Now what?

When an 8-year-old swears they didn’t sneak the TV or the treats (even with chocolate on their face), most parents panic about what it means for the future.

In this episode of The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie explain why lying is normal, why punishment makes it worse, and how to respond in a way that builds honesty instead of fear.

If you want truth without tears, this conversation changes everything.

KEY POINTS

• Lying is a developmental milestone, not a moral collapse.
• The harsher the punishment, the better kids get at hiding.
• Shame damages relationships and kills honesty.
• Most lies are about avoiding trouble or getting access to something they want.
• The goal isn’t catching kids out — it’s solving the problem together.
• You’ll have this conversation again and again. That’s normal parenting.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Lying is not a moral crisis. It’s a teachable moment.”

RELATED RESOURCES

#846 An Honest Conversation [podcast episode]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Stay calm. Avoid lectures and threats.
2. Say what you see instead of asking trap questions.
3. Make it safe to tell the truth.
4. Explain your concerns (health, sleep, fairness).
5. Collaborate on a plan everyone can live with.
6. Repeat the conversation as often as needed.

Submit your tricky question at happyfamilies.com.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We tell ourselves it’s about safety.
But what if tracking our kids is quietly costing them confidence, independence… and trust?

With apps like Life360 becoming the norm, many parents are asking: Are we protecting our children — or projecting our anxiety onto them?

In this episode, we unpack what constant monitoring does to developing autonomy, whether location-sharing normalises surveillance, and how to balance safety with healthy independence.

If you’ve ever checked the app “just in case,” this conversation might change how you see it.

KEY POINTS

• Why over-monitoring may increase anxiety — for parents and kids
• The developmental cost of constant surveillance
• How tracking impacts trust, autonomy, and competence
• When location sharing can work — and when it crosses a line
• The difference between safety conversations and safety control

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“When parents outsource their anxiety management to technology, children pay the developmental price.”

RESOURCES

• Lenore Skenazy – Free-Range Kids
• Let Grow movement
• Claire Rowe (psychologist & parenting writer)
• Should We Be Tracking Our Kids? [Article]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Ask yourself: Is this about safety — or my anxiety?
2. Replace monitoring with problem-solving conversations.
3. Gradually expand your child’s freedom in age-appropriate ways.
4. If using location sharing, make it mutual and transparent.
5. Focus on teaching capability, not controlling outcomes.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You’re one eye-roll away from losing it.
You’ve called their name four times.
You’re hot, tired, and absolutely done.

And then patience changes everything.

In this Friday episode, Justin and Kylie share two small choices that create big connection: making time for the people marrying into your family, and holding your nerve long enough for your child to come to you.

Because when we slow down, relationships grow.

KEY POINTS

• Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.
• Time invested now shapes future in-law relationships.
• Kids often need space to process before they respond.
• Patience prevents power struggles and invites cooperation.
• Small messages of love spark big moments of connection.
• Even eye-rolling kids still want us in their world.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Patience got us there. When we slow down, relationships grow.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Happy Families memberships & resources
• The 7 Day Connection Challenge (Free Happy Families resource)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Give someone your full attention this week. No phone. Just presence.
• When you want to react, pause. Let your child process.
• Create a short family catch-phrase that reminds your kids who they are.
• Send a simple “thinking of you” text when they’re away.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’ve told kids for years that effort changes everything.

But the biggest review of growth mindset research in decades just found the results are tiny… sometimes nothing at all.

So should parents and teachers stop talking about “not yet”?

In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what the science really says, why the data might be missing the magic, and the simple belief that still changes lives for many children.

KEY POINTS

• A major new review analysed 24 gold-standard studies on growth mindset interventions.
• The strongest research found very small or zero academic improvement.
• Real classrooms and real families are far more complex than controlled trials.
• No study shows growth mindset causes harm.
• Language, belief, and persistence still influence motivation for many kids.
• We should be careful about promises — but not abandon hope.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“I don’t want to be the adult who looks at a child and says, ‘You just can’t.’”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Gazmuri, C. (2025). Growth mindset interventions and academic achievement. Review of Education.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Swap limits for possibility: invite effort and exploration.
• Focus on helping your child stay in the uncomfortable learning zone.
• Offer support after they’ve tried, not before.
• Remember: neutral evidence is not negative evidence.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.