What is the Disconnection Play Schema? A 101 Overview

Have you ever watched your toddler peel every sticker off a book, pull tissues out one by one, or dismantle a block tower you just built… and wondered why they do it?

In this episode, we’re diving into the Disconnection Play Schema, one of the most misunderstood (and often messy!) forms of toddler play.

Disconnection play is all about a child’s deep, instinctive urge to understand how things come apart. It’s the opening, pulling, removing, unzipping, unscrewing, tearing, and undoing that helps children explore how the world works. And while it can look destructive on the surface, it’s actually powerful learning in action.

In this 101 overview, you’ll learn:

• What the Disconnection Play Schema really is
• Why toddlers are driven to pull things apart (again and again)
• How disconnection play supports problem-solving, fine motor skills, persistence, and early STEM thinking
• Why this behaviour is healthy, necessary, and developmentally appropriate
• Simple ways to support disconnection play safely at home (without losing your sanity)

If you’re in the thick of toddler life and feeling overwhelmed by the constant dismantling, this episode is for you. Understanding the why behind the behaviour can completely change how it feels, and how you respond.

Because your child isn’t undoing your work to frustrate you.
They’re doing their work, building the foundations for learning, curiosity, and critical thinking.

Send us a text

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

What is the connection play schema… and why does your child seem driven to tie, tape, build, and join everything together?

In this episode, we’re starting with a foundational question: what exactly is the connection schema, and why does it matter so much in early childhood development?

Schemas are deep, instinctive urges that drive children’s play. They aren’t random behaviors—they’re the brain’s way of building foundations for lifelong learning. And the connection schema is all about how things join together… and sometimes how they come apart.

From tying objects together and building endless towers, to taping toys into long lines or wanting to sit close and hold hands, connection play is your child’s natural way of exploring structure, stability, and the forces that hold things in place.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What the connection schema really is (and what it isn’t)
• Why connection play is normal, healthy, and developmentally necessary
• How children use connecting and disconnecting to explore physics, engineering, and problem-solving
• The powerful link between connection play and fine motor development
• How this schema supports early STEM thinking, confidence, and persistence
• Real-life examples of what connection play looks like at home (yes, including all the tape and string!)
  
  
  

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by repetitive play, messy setups, or emotional meltdowns when creations fall apart, this episode offers reassurance and clarity. Repetition isn’t a problem, it’s how the brain wires itself. And when you understand schema-driven behavior, it becomes so much easier to support your child with empathy and intention.

If your child is constantly connecting, tying, taping, building, or taking things apart, they’re learning exactly what they need to learn, and your support makes a remarkable difference.

Let’s dive deeper into the connection schema together.

Send us a text

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

Join the free 2026 Family Preset: https://playschemas.com/preset

Feeling tired already, and the year’s only just begun?
If “new year, new me” feels more exhausting than motivating, this episode offers a different way forward.

In this episode, Ruth introduces the 2026 Family Preset, a free, gentle, 5-day guided experience designed especially for parents of young children. No pressure. No hustle. Just clarity, connection, and small shifts that make family life feel lighter.

Instead of fixing everything, this is about deciding what really matters, and setting your family up for a calmer, more connected year.

What You’ll Learn

• Why clarity (not discipline) is often what’s missing when parenting feels hard
• How small, intentional shifts can change the tone of your whole family
• Why rest, connection, and repair matter more than perfection
• How understanding your child’s play can reduce frustration and conflict
• What it really means to “preset” your family for the year ahead

The 5 Days of the Family Preset

• Day 1: Starting with you, rest that actually restores
• Day 2: Parenting as a team (or with your support system)
• Day 3: Understanding your child through their play and schemas
• Day 4: Building connection into everyday routines
• Day 5: Protecting connection on the hard days through repair

Includes short daily videos, one small task a day, two weeks to complete it, and the chance to win over $500 in prizes.

Resources

• Join the free 2026 Family Preset: https://playschemas.com/preset
• Instagram DM option: https://instagram.com/playschemas

If this episode supported you, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and leave a review, it helps more parents find calm and clarity through play 💛

#DemystifyingChildsPlay #FamilyPreset #GentleParenting #PlayIsLearning #ConnectionOverConflict #ParentingSupport

Send us a text

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January 2026. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

Join the 2026 Family Preset waitlist! Preset week is 12th-16th January 2026.

The new year can feel full of pressure, new routines, new goals, and the quiet expectation that everything should suddenly feel more “together.” But if you’re parenting a toddler or preschooler and your day still involves toast on the floor and snack requests five minutes after breakfast, you’re not doing it wrong.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re welcoming 2026 with a gentler, more grounded perspective on parenting, one that replaces overwhelm with understanding and helps you reconnect with what really matters: your child’s play.

You’ll be introduced (or reintroduced) to play schemas, the repetitive patterns of play that are hardwired into how young children learn and develop. We’ll explore why behaviours like throwing, lining up, spinning, enclosing, and pulling things apart aren’t “phases to fix,” but meaningful learning in action. When you understand what’s driving your child’s play, parenting starts to feel more intentional, less frustrating, and surprisingly more joyful.

Through real-life examples and relatable moments from family life, this episode breaks down how play schemas support cognitive development, emotional regulation, physical coordination, and confidence, all without worksheets or structured activities. You’ll also hear practical ways to spot schemas in your own child’s play, how to support them using simple, everyday materials, and why protecting time for child-led play is one of the most powerful investments you can make this year.

We’ll also touch on something parents don’t hear often enough: play isn’t just good for children, it’s good for us too. Joining your child in play, even briefly, builds connection, supports emotional wellbeing, and reminds us that joy and learning don’t need to be separate.

If you’re stepping into the new year wanting less pressure, more confidence, and a deeper connection with your child, this episode is for you.

Subscribe to the podcast, share this episode with another parent who needs this reminder, and come continue the conversation with me over on Instagram @play_schemas. For free resources and further support, visit playschemas.com.

Because you don’t need to add more this year, y

Send us a text

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January 2026. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you'd love a ready-to-go cheat sheet with all the schema explanations and ideas from today’s episode, you can download the free Christmas Play Schema Guide at playschemas.com/free.

Ever wondered why your child suddenly throws baubles across the room, moves everyone’s presents to the opposite corner, or mixes their entire Christmas lunch into one giant “experiment”?

In this episode, we take the stress, confusion, and guilt out of those big festive behaviours, and replace them with clarity, confidence, and a whole lot more calm.

Christmas is magical, but it’s also a time when emotions run high, routines shift, and little people are surrounded by stimulating new sights, sounds, and expectations. For many parents, this means asking (more than once!), “Why are you doing that?” From throwing wrapping paper into the air, to hiding objects, spinning ornaments, lining up cookies, or disappearing under the tree to see the lights from below, it can feel chaotic and sometimes embarrassing, especially in front of relatives.

But I'm here to reassure you that your child isn’t just being naughty... they’re learning.

Their Christmas behaviour is usually a direct expression of one of the 10 common play schemas: the repeated patterns of behaviour children use to understand how the world works. And once you know what to look for, everything starts to make sense.

In this special Christmas episode, I break down how each schema might show up on Christmas Day, from the trajectory schema making baubles fly, to the transporting schema moving gifts across the room, to the enveloping, connecting, disconnecting and transforming schemas that turn ordinary moments into adorable (and sometimes messy!) explorations of curiosity.

You’ll discover:

• Why your child’s festive “chaos” is actually developmental gold
• How to explain their behaviour to relatives without awkwardness or judgement
• Simple redirections that meet their needs without shutting down their play
• Ways to prevent meltdowns before big Christmas moments even begin
• Practical scripts you can use with grandparents, visiting cousins, or even your partner
• How to set up Christmas Day so your child feels supported, understood, and connected

Send us a text

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January 2026. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

If your living room has ever looked like a toy shop exploded on Christmas morning, you’re not alone. The wrapping paper, the noise, the overstimulated kids… and that quiet thought in the back of your mind: “How did we end up here again?”

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, host Ruth Vercoe brings a fresh, reassuring perspective to the festive season, one that’s grounded in child development, play-based learning, and realistic expectations for busy parents. Less stuff. More play. More connection.

“Less Stuff, More Play: Creating a Connected Christmas” explores what really supports young children during the holidays, and why understanding their play schemas can turn Christmas from overstimulating chaos into joyful, meaningful moments.

You’ll hear relatable stories, gentle insights, and down-to-earth guidance that helps you cut through the noise (and the unsolicited gift suggestions!) so you can focus on what matters most: your child, their curiosity, and the simple joy of playing together.

• Why “more” can quickly become too much
Discover the science behind overstimulation, why young children often ignore new toys at Christmas, and how aligning gifts with your child’s play schema can bring calm back into the holiday season.

• How simple play invitations can transform Christmas morning
Get practical, budget-friendly ideas based on the 10 play schemas — from wrapping-and-unwrapping (enveloping) to moving baskets of baubles (transporting) to watching the tree lights from underneath (orientation). No fancy setups. No Pinterest pressure. Just real play that meets your child where they are.

• The magic of slowing down and building connection
Find out why quiet in-between moments matter more than perfectly curated traditions — and how following your child’s natural play urges leads to deeper bonding, calmer days, and a Christmas they’ll actually remember.

As parents, we often carry the invisible weight of “making Christmas magical.” But the truth is: your child doesn’t need more things, they need more play, and more of you.

All key takeaways, scripts, and schema-based ideas mentioned in the episode are available in the show notes at

Send us a text

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January 2026. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Have you ever watched your toddler throw toys, empty your handbag for the tenth time, or spin in circles until they fall over, and wondered, why on earth are they doing that? This episode will help you finally make sense of it, and trust your child’s play in a whole new way.

In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play, we’re diving into one of the most powerful, and often misunderstood, parts of early childhood development: play schemas. These are the repeated patterns of behaviour that toddlers come back to again and again… throwing, wrapping, stacking, filling, dumping, climbing, hiding, spinning.

And while these moments can feel messy, chaotic, or even a bit annoying (especially when you’re tired, heading into the Christmas season, or just trying to make dinner), they’re actually signs that your child is learning exactly what they need to learn right now.

You’ll hear why your child keeps:
• tossing toys across the room
• wrapping dolls in blanket after blanket
• transferring objects from one bag to another
• building towers just to knock them down
• spinning until they’re giggling on the floor

Each of these actions links to a different schema, a way the brain organises information and builds important pathways for maths, science, problem solving, gross motor skills and confidence. When we understand this, everything changes. We stop seeing “naughty”, “messy”, or “chaotic”, and start seeing curiosity, exploration and connection.

If you’re a parent who feels guilty about not playing enough… or if you’ve ever wondered whether your toddler’s behaviour is “normal”… this episode will give you reassurance, clarity and a simple new lens that makes family life feel so much easier.

Think of this as a gentle invitation to become a play detective. Once you start noticing schemas, you’ll never unsee them, and you’ll feel so much more connected to what your child is trying to learn and communicate.

Whether you’re listening on a walk, folding washing, or hiding in the pantry for two minutes of quiet, this episode will help you see your child’s play with fresh eyes. Parenting is hard, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, especially when you understand what’s going on beneath the surface.

If this episode helps yo

Send us a text

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January 2026. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January. Jump on the waitlist here!

Why is your toddler obsessed with pouring, tipping, splashing, and carrying cups of water around the house?

In this episode, Shelly from HapiTap and I dive into the world of water play through the lens of play schemas, so you can finally understand what your child is learning every time they head straight for the tap, bath, or puddle.

If you’ve ever wondered “Is this normal?” or “Why does water play keep them so focused?”, this episode breaks it all down in a way that feels reassuring, practical, and totally doable for busy parents. You’ll learn what water play looks like from 1–5 years, why it holds such power for early learning, and how simple setups at home can support your child’s confidence, curiosity, and brain development.

We’ll explore:
• How the top 10 play schemas are visible in water play
• Why messy play supports problem-solving, early science concepts, and sensory regulation
• Easy, low-prep ways to offer water play (yes, even indoors!)
• Helpful phrases you can use to guide, validate, and extend your child’s play
• How understanding schemas can reduce behaviour battles and boost cooperation

Whether you love water play or quietly dread the mess, this episode will help you see it with fresh eyes and feel confident saying “yes” more often.

If this episode supports you, hit follow, share it with another parent, or send me your child’s favourite water play setup. I love hearing from you!

Want to find out more about the HapiTap? Head to @HapiTap_Offical

Send us a text

Join us for the 2026 Family Preset from the 12-16th January 2026. Jump on the waitlist here!

If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.

Support the show

If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.

Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com

and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!