I’m a MN girl. I’ve sat crying on my couch at times over these last few weeks with all that’s going on, feeling powerless. But here’s what I realized. Powerlessness is a myth. Sometimes it’s in the worst of times that this myth grows especially big, because problems seem too large to tackle and fear takes over. Literally, our nervous system paralyzes us. Or sometimes causes us to hide or run, or stand and fight. Each of these responses may be protective and needed in a given context, but sometimes our actions are reflexive and make no logical sense.

I remember one specific day a few years ago when I opened our front door and a large bird flew straight into our house, rammed into the opposite window and died on our carpet. What did I do in that split second? I screamed and ran into the back bedroom closet–all in one reflexive motion. And then I emerged and asked myself, “What just happened?” My fight or flight system had taken over.

So don’t judge yourself if you feel fear and paralysis right now. But my friend, there is a stronger force to harness if you so choose. That is the force of love. The parasympathetic nervous system that invites nurturing and connection can win out.

This is true in parenting and all of life: “Love never faileth.” How can this be true? Not every initiative conceived with love “succeeds” (or brings forth the intended fruit) and truly the mere feeling of love does not solve the world’s problems. But it is a solid starting and ending point. It is the safe ground to stand upon when all else fails, when all else feels as if it’s crumbling beneath our feet.

Love as a noun is the start, but love as a verb is where all this goes.

So what does love in action look like? There may be some common themes and threads, but the beautiful reality is this. There are too many possibilities to name.

Love in action is a radical, specific act or innovation that cannot be foretold. It cannot be legislated against because it’s so specific to the situation and the individual giver and receiver, that no one can exactly predict or prohibit it.

Love is seeing a need and wisely filling it (in the way only you can because who and where you are in a given moment). Only YOU are at this exact human intersection.

Last night, love looked like making my kids waffles for dinner.

Last month, on Christmas morning, love looked like this:

We had just finished the flurry of gift opening and the family dispersed to integrate their new items and indulge in the chocolate from their respective stockings. I was alone in the kitchen listening to Christmas choral music. I looked out the window and saw a man walking alone on the empty, cold street carrying a backpack. It seemed that he moved to the beat of the song, which happened to be “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” at the moment. It was a soundtrack in a movie and the sky and mountains were the backdrop. This was a moment of internal pause; a human intersection. I could have looked away and gone back to cleaning up dishes and piles of wrapping paper, but I didn’t. I dumped the candy from my stocking, a pair of gloves, an orange, and an apple into a small brown gift bag. I threw on my coat and asked one of my teenage boys to get in the car with me. (Honestly, I was a little afraid and it made me feel safer to have him there.) He was like, “Where are we going mom?” I told him, “I saw this guy through the window walking down the road and I wanted to bring him something. I thought about how he’s someone’s son too, you know. If I was his mom, I’d want someone to do this.”

By the time we got on the road, I couldn’t see him anymore, but we kept driving along trying to predict where he may have gone. I turned into an empty grocery store parking lot, and there he was, digging in the trash can. I pulled the car up next to him and said, “Excuse me, sir. I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.” I handed him the bag and we drove

How do you build connection and foster healthy attachment in your family? In today's episode we'll discuss all things attachment with our guest Eli Harwood, author of "Raising Securely Attached Kids." It turns out that attachment is not just about babies and toddlers. Eli shares FOUR main areas for parents to focus on to help kids feel loved and secure. She says that as parents we need to...

1) LIGHT UP

2) SHOW UP

3) LISTEN UP &

4) MAKE UP

Take a listen to the full episode to learn the details of what these steps mean and how to apply them. You can find Eli's work @attachmentnerd and at her website attachmentnerd.com.

*If you loved this episode, join us for the upcoming moms' retreat Project CONNECT Oct 24-26th in Southern Utah! We have a few spots left :)

"Fostering Connection and Healthy Attchment" with Eli Harwood © Mary Illions Wilde, MD

Let's connect!

IG @drmarywilde

Try out a free month of the Compassion Parenting Membership HERE. Use the promo code CPFREEX1

If your kids could use some more resilience, check out the Resilience School Intensive (includes coaching and support) or Resilience CORE Strategies (the DIY version).

Original music composed for Compassion Parenting by Ben Rodriguez https://soundcloud.com/bennicurious

***

To subscribe on iTunes: go to iTunes store→ Music→ podcasts→ type in "Compassion Parenting" in search & click on icon→ click “subscribe” button

Leaving a podcast review at iTunes isn't intuitive. But positive ratings are hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review using one of the methods below.

How to leave a podcast review using Apple’s Podcast app

1. Launch Apple’s Podcast App on your iPhone or iPad.
2. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Compassion Parenting Podcast”) into the search field
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews
5. Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. (Enter your iTunes password to login). You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose :)

How to leave a podcast review at iTunes

1. Go to the iTunes page of the Compassion Parenting Podcast.
2. Click the "View in iTunes" button.
3. At iTunes, click the Ratings and Reviews tab.
4. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose :)

**When you’ve written a review, tag me or msg me on IG @drmarywilde & I’ll give you a shoutout on my story & a personal TY!

xo, Dr. Mary

Kaylin Marcotte is the founder & CEO of JIGGY, a new jigsaw puzzle brand on a mission to modernize and elevate the humble jigsaw, and support female artists around the world. She turned her hobby into a company and has been featured on Shark Tank, Oprah's Favorite Things and won over celebrity fans including Gwyneth Paltrow, Lili Reinhart and Chrissy Teigen. Kaylin was previously the first employee at media startup theSkimm, and is an alum of Barnard College in New York City. Grab your own JIGGY puzzle and do the "puzzle test" today! Go to jiggypuzzles.com for a discount on your first order!

Download a free copy of Dr. Wilde's ebook "Finding Calm: Stress Detox for the Modern Family" HERE and find more info about her programs, including Resilience School, at drmarywilde.com.

"Returning to Old School Wellness Practices" with Kaylin Marcotte © Mary Illions Wilde, MD

Let's connect!

IG @drmarywilde

Try out a free month of the Compassion Parenting Membership HERE. Use the promo code CPFREEX1

If your kids could use some more resilience, check out the Resilience School Intensive (includes coaching and support) or Resilience CORE Strategies (the DIY version).

Original music composed for Compassion Parenting by Ben Rodriguez https://soundcloud.com/bennicurious

***

To subscribe on iTunes: go to iTunes store→ Music→ podcasts→ type in "Compassion Parenting" in search & click on icon→ click “subscribe” button

Leaving a podcast review at iTunes isn't intuitive. But positive ratings are hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review using one of the methods below.

How to leave a podcast review using Apple’s Podcast app

1. Launch Apple’s Podcast App on your iPhone or iPad.
2. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Compassion Parenting Podcast”) into the search field
3. Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)
4. Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews
5. Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. (Enter your iTunes password to login). You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose :)

How to leave a podcast review at iTunes

1. Go to the iTunes page of the Compassion Parenting Podcast.
2. Click the "View in iTunes" button.
3. At iTunes, click the Ratings and Reviews tab.
4. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose :)

**When you’ve written a review, tag me or msg me on IG @drmarywilde & I’ll give you a shoutout on my story & a personal TY!

xo, Dr. Mary