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Whoa what a film! If you’re into teachers getting revenge on pain in the ass students, and we know you are, then have we got an episode for you. Alice Cooper sings the theme song of the movie, setting the mood. In addition to that, there’s Marty McNuggets, Chekov’s gun, The Fucklty Parking Lot," teachers who should be fired but aren’t, a busty clarinet, Roddy McDowall, Nazis, Grease 2’s “Reproduction,” grammatically challenged graffiti corrected with red spray paint, developing Polaroids in your snatch, Christmas sex workers in Florida, PCP not cocaine, roasted rabbit, a preppy kid in Danny Zuko drag, fingerprints, a kid getting shivved, Mr. Holland’s Anus, classroom engagement at gun point, a band leader / hostage de-escalation expert, an English teacher just trying to teach “The Most Dangerous Game,” a strip club playing Enya, the Offred line at Sears, and death by table saws, gasoline, car, getting crushed and falling through the ceiling at an orchestra concert.

Exit ticket: There’s an exodus of teachers from a suburban school district in Ohio last school year because they were sick of being assaulted by students and admin took no action. How did the district respond to this nightmare? As Dorinda Medley would say, “Not well, bitch.”

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