Send us Fan Mail

Episode 2: The Myth of Choice.

If you listened to 'The Infrastructure of Isolation,' you already know about the Administrator — the part of you that keeps the fortress beautiful, clean, and empty. This episode examines his favourite weapon: the illusion of choice.

This is for professional gay men who believe they are making active decisions about their lives — but are actually choosing different ways to stay unreachable. Alan Cox, accredited life coach, CBT practitioner, and writer for gay magazines in the UK, Ireland, and the US, introduces two new archetypes: the Scheduler, who fills every hour so he never has to feel the Sunday silence, and the Resister, who leaves his calendar empty but fills it with solo distraction. Both believe they are exercising autonomy. Both are running a life designed for one.

'The Myth of Choice' includes the Sunday inventory exercise, the arithmetic of one, and what the wardrobe knows about your readiness for partnership. It ends with a practical exercise designed to test whether you are still shopping with a basket — or ready for a trolley.

The book 'Beyond: The Apps' is available now on Kindle and coming soon to Amazon paperback.

Join the Patreon at patreon.com/empoweringgaymen for early access to 'Beyond' chapters, monthly Q&A, and a community of men who have stopped swiping and started seeking.

For coaching inquiries: empoweringgaymen@gmail.com

Support the show