How do you know if a decision was actually good BEFORE the outcome happens?

In this episode, Ben introduces a powerful framework from decision analysis, The Decision Stool.

Most of us judge decisions by how things turn out. But outcomes involve luck and things beyond your control. Good decisions can lead to bad outcomes, and bad decisions can sometimes lead to good outcomes.

So, if outcomes don't let us know if we made a good decision, what does?

The Decision Stool gives you a way to evaluate decision quality in advance, by checking the strength of three essential legs:

• Values: What do you truly care about, and across which categories?

• Alternatives: What options do you actually have, and can you create better ones using a value-focused approach?

• Information: What do you know, what don’t you know, and is it worth learning more?

Ben walks you through how he used the decision stool framework from his own 20s when he bought his first home in Northern California. He had to balance affordability, family, location, schools, and risk.

You’ll see how a value-focused, hybrid alternative led to a creative solution that satisfied competing priorities. Yes, Ben does enter the Matrix in this episode and turns his decision to buy a house into an opportunity to become a landlord!

You’ll walk away with:

• A practical checklist for evaluating decision quality

• A way to diagnose why you feel stuck

• An exercise to design alternatives that aren’t “on the menu”

• A preview of the next tool: decision trees, which make complex choices visible

When a decision feels wobbly, don’t guess. Instead, notice which leg of the stool needs strengthening AND stabilize.

A solid decision stool translates to more confident decisions also known as "Clarity of Action" which means you evaluate your decisions based on what you can control.

Now It’s Your Turn

Think about a decision you are currently facing, big or small.

Take 5–10 minutes and evaluate it using the Decision Stool.

Values. What truly matters in this decision? What outcomes are most important to you?

Alternatives. Have you clearly defined the options? Can you create an alternative based on your values?

Information. What do you know, what don’t you know, and what assumptions are you making?

If one leg feels weak, strengthen it.

If this exercise changes your approach to a decision, share what you discovered in the comments!

This special bonus episode introduces one of the most important ideas for anyone in their 20s: Identity Capital, a concept from The Defining Decade by Meg Jay.

When you’re choosing jobs, majors, or career paths, it’s easy to get stuck in the paradox of choice: too many options, fear of choosing wrong, and hesitation to commit.

But here’s the reframe: it’s not the specific job that matters most, it’s the identity capital you build along the way.

In this episode, Ben explores:

• What is Identity Capital? Answer: the experiences, skills, and reputation that shape your future.

• Why do real-world challenges and meaningful experiences matter more than comfort and convenience? Answer: You'll stand out in that next job interview.

• How to avoid accidentally building Identity Capital in the wrong direction.

• A personal story about the importance of taking a value-focused approach to building identity capital.

This episode will help you shift from job chasing → growth building, so each step you take strengthens your future. Your 20s are not about finding the perfect job. They’re about building the foundation for the life you want.

Now it’s your turn: If you have a job...

• Identify the Identity Capital skills or experiences you are building right now.
• Are they taking you in the direction you want — YES, NO, or MAYBE?

If you’re job searching...

• Step back from job titles and focus on the kind of Identity Capital you want to build.
• Then pursue ONLY the roles that develop that type of identity capital.

Comment: Share your identity capital story in the comments so others can benefit from your experiences.

Looking for podcast guests: Contact me if you'd like to be a guest on an upcoming episode to talk about clear thinking for better choices in your 20s.

Resources: *Link to PDF of The Defining Decade

https://cdn.bookey.app/files/pdf/book/en/the-defining-decade.pdf

This episode tackles one of the most important thinking traps to avoid in your 20s when evaluating your decisions.

Decisions and outcomes are not the same. Yet many of us confuse the two, judging the quality of a decision based solely on how things turn out afterward. If the outcome is good, we assume the decision was good. If the outcome is bad, we assume the decision was bad.

This pitfall is known as outcome bias, and it can limit learning and make it much harder to improve your decision-making skills.

In your 20s, when you are making high-impact choices about careers, relationships, and major life events, outcome bias can cause you to draw the wrong lessons from decisions that were actually well thought out.

This episode explores a good decision with a bad outcome and a bad decision with a good outcome. We make this concrete by following Jim’s story and examining how a reasonable decision to plan an outdoor wedding ends up leading to an unlucky outcome.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be able to spot outcome bias in your own life, extract better lessons from your experiences, and build decision-making skills that compound throughout your 20s.

Now It’s Your Turn

Take 5–10 minutes to reflect about a decision you made recently that had a clear outcome.

Now separate the decision from the outcome.

• First, notice if the outcome was good or bad.
• Then, regardless of the outcome, did the decision felt right at the time?
• Was your choice aligned with your values?

Remember, a good decision can still lead to a bad outcome… and a bad decision can end up with a lucky outcome.

Focus on noticing the difference between "the decision" and "the outcome" not judging yourself by the result.

And if you're up for it, share what you discovered in the comments so others can benefit from your reflection!

This episode puts value-focused decision making into action and shows you how to apply this powerful tool immediately to your own life.

I reflect on my own experience in my 20s to show how taking a value-focused approach helped me eliminate a potential job option.

You’ll also follow Jim, a 20-something college senior navigating a job search before deciding whether to pursue an MBA, as he applies the same framework. Most people get stuck and fall back into an alternative-focused approach to decision making, choosing from a default list of options on the menu of life.

After this episode you will:

• See how to move beyond the default approach to decision making
• Move past the limited menu in front of you
• Expand what feels possible
• Start shaping your own path.
• Enter the matrix, like Keanu Reeves, to create your own reality.

Now It’s Your Turn

Think about a decision you are facing right now. It can be small, like what movie to see or which salad dressing to choose, or big, like what job to pursue or whether to make a move to a new city.

Before you decide, take 5–10 minutes and write down what truly matters to you in this situation.

Identify your values and group them into categories (just like Jim) so you can take a value-focused approach, starting with what matters, not just the options in front of you.

And if this process leads you to create your own alternative, one that wasn’t even on the original menu, share your story in the comments so others can learn from your experience!

Resources

This episode is inspired by Value-Focused Thinking: A Path to Creative Decision Making by Ralph Keeney, which shows how clarifying fundamental values can reveal new decision opportunities.

*Link to Keeney’s book

https://www.hup.harvard.edu/books/9780674931985

*Link to Frontline episode detailing the outcome of Providian, the company Ben eliminated from his menu of job options based on his ethical values https://www.pbs.org/video/frontline-the-card-game/

This episode builds directly on the foundation of critical reflection and introduces a better way to approach decisions.

Ben shows how value-focused decision making helps you go beyond the list of options on the menu of life so you can start getting more of what you actually want.

Most of us make decisions by reacting to the choices in front of us, like job offers and choosing a major, without ever stopping to ask what we truly care about.

In this episode, we introduce value-focused decision making, a powerful shift that starts with clarifying what matters to you and uses your values to create better alternatives rather than just picking from the default menu.

By the end of this episode, you will be able to apply a simple value-focused approach to the critical decisions you make in your 20s so that your choices align more closely with the life you actually want to build.

Along the way, you might just learn how to go full Keanu Reeves, create your own reality, and step into the Matrix.

Now It’s Your Turn

Think about a decision you’ve recently made.

Did you start with your values or did you start with the options already on the menu?

If you took the alternative-focused approach, that’s fine. Just take 5 minutes to reflect:

What does your decision reveal about what matters to you?

Why did you choose one option over the others?

Start writing down the values that may have been guiding you even if you weren’t fully aware of them at the time.

Resources:

**Ralph Keeney's Book: Value - Focused Thinking

https://www.hup.harvard.edu/books/9780674931985

This first episode introduces why Ben created The 20-Something Toolkit to support 20-somethings beyond standard college advising, career centers, and generic life advice. It sets the foundation for the entire series.

If you want to make better decisions, learn faster, and feel less stuck as you move through your 20s, this is the place to start.

The episode features a real 20-something case study that shows what critical reflection actually looks like in practice as a disciplined way to pause, assess, and realign.

Your 20s are filled with high-stakes decisions about education, relationships, career direction, and identity. Yet most of us were never explicitly taught how to reflect in a way that helps us stay on track.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be able to apply a simple 3-step approach to critical reflection that can help you navigate your Defining Decade with more clarity and confidence.

Now, It's YOUR TURN!

Take 5–10 minutes today to try the 3-step Critical Reflection process in an area that is important to you now:

Step 1 - Awareness. What has been happening in this area. Just notice and observe.

Step 2 - Critique. What is working well? What is not?

Step 3 - Realign. Identify one small, concrete change you can take based on step 2 and make it happen!

Please share your experience in the comments! Is this useful? What area of your life did you relfect on? Any insights to share?