Couverture de 12 \\\\ 3 Ways Most Men Change When They First Get Married

12 \\ 3 Ways Most Men Change When They First Get Married

12 \\ 3 Ways Most Men Change When They First Get Married

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 Today, Kim is in the hot seat - sharing his experience - of 3 very different stages he went through during our first few years of marriage.   Stage 1: “Wow, I AM MARRIED!!!!” - 2:47   You’ve now made it to the adult club. Your entire life, you’ve been searching for the “one”, and now you’ve finally found him/her. Kim remembers waking up and thinking, “Wow, cool. I am married to the love of my life.” You’re on cloud 9 and seeing life through rose-colored glasses. Everything feels like a blessing and nothing can touch us.   The first few weeks become such an adjustment to actually LIVING one of your top dreams of your life. You are now married. You have now chosen your life partner. You have found your true love and now you get to live your entire life with them.   Stage 2: “Oh, F. I am married.” - 6:15   This will not go away. SHE will not go away. Wow, this is it. This is for life. This is for always. I HAVE to now make this work. You realize that something is here to stay, and now the real adulting begins. You have to show up, become mature and do whatever it takes to make it work for life.   You’ve now made a lifelong commitment - 8:00   This is the essence of what makes it different than just dating someone. During one of our first harder convos, because we’re married…
  1. Walking away…isn’t an option
  2. Not talking about it…isn’t an option
  3. Ignoring the problem…isn't an option
Why premarital coaching set us up for success in our marriage - 9:00   We were “warned” in our premarital counseling that THIS stage would come. The stage where the going gets tough or the tough get going. Kim shares, “I asked for it. I wanted this. Now what are you going to do? How are you going to make this work? You love this person, she loves you back. So, let’s roll up your sleeves and do this.”   I looked at my wife during this stage and said, “Ok, this is it. WE have to make this work. We have to find a way to make sure we will always remain a “we.” This wasn’t easy and I didn’t feel like working harder…but, I cannot NOT speak up. 11:30   We must speak up because we cannot lose ourselves in marriage. Since this is “forever,” we need to make sure we share our truth and who we are - and my spouse deserves to know who I really am. We can do so in the right time, and be kind and humble, but still share, even when it’s uncomfortable. 13:45   Stage 3: “Wowwww…yes, I AM married. THIS is what it’s supposed to be.” 17:30   Once we found out what we were doing was working, I felt at ease. THIS is what it’s supposed to be. The more it works, the better it gets. And the better our marriage gets, the better our lives get. One feeds into each other - an upward spiral! I couldn’t have imagined this kind of love would be possible - to actually find it inside marriage. It’s awesome to see our marriage nourished and thriving. 19:29   I know there will be more difficult conversations down the line - but now I say, bring it on. It’s because I now know that we have what it takes to work through them and we will come out stronger and better than we were before.   Come grab intentional help in this specific area, discover the right questions to ask and learn to navigate these complex feelings - join our FREE Vowkeepers community!   And come say Hi on social - @TheCleymans!    -Kim & Cheyanne 
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