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The Power of Body Language

An Ex-FBI Agent's System for Speed-Reading People
Lu par : Joe Navarro
Durée : 6 h et 50 min
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Description

Instantly discover what's really going on around you!

Know the truth before you ever hear a word!

Approximately 80% of communication is expressed nonverbally. When you know how to unlock the secrets of people's nonverbal cues, you'll always have the upper hand in any situation.

In The Power of Body Language, former FBI counterintelligence officer and recognized global expert on nonverbal behavior Joe Navarro teaches you how to "speed-read" people: decode sentiments and behaviors, avoid hidden pitfalls, and look for revealing behaviors. You will discover:

  • How the subconscious limbic system drives all body language.
  • Why the face is the least likely place to gauge a person's true feelings.
  • What thumbs, feet, and a simple handshake reveal about moods and motives.
  • The most powerful behaviors that reveal our confidence and true sentiments.
  • Simple nonverbals that instantly establish trust and communicate authority.
  • Why things taught about nonverbals in the '70s and '80s are incorrect.
  • And more!

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2009 Joe Navarro (P)2009 Nightingale Conant

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  • Allyssia
  • 04/10/2018

(...) and in the end, they would confess.

In order to better remember and use as future reference, I've made a summary with all main contents. It doesn't by any mean replace the reading, but it helps remember future useful hints! Hope it's helpful!

ABOUT OUR BRAIN
*The hippocampus learns and expands, the amygdala senses danger and helps to keep us safe. The limbic system is designed to react, it's subconscious and non cognitive. Good emotions are dealt by the limbic system as well.
The neocortex is the cognitive part. It allows us to create things, think and lie. Boo!
*Whenever we feel a threat, we have freeze (predators sometimes don't chase things that don't move), flight (the modern equivalent is not running but distancing yourself) and fight reactions (nowadays usually manifests by arguing). 3 Fs. Not 2.

ANALYSING BEHAVIOR
*Behaviors can basically be categorized into comfort and discomfort demonstrations.
*Are behaviors limbic or cultural? Cultural= something that has been taught to us as a common reaction.
Limbic= it's easier to look for clusters to identify limbic reactions. Its reactions also happens very fast, immediately.
*Fragment information - in order to know what generates which feeling, fragment the information and discuss part by part. It will help you read the reactions way better.
*Pacifier reactions can either be used to add physical comfort to good situations or to ease stress. It can manifest through sucking your thumb, playing with your hair or touching your ears etc... Context matters.
*Happy couples have synchronized body patterns, they walk at the same pace and have similar body movements.

ANALYSING THE BODY
FEET 1)when couples get along their feet often touch.
2)When we are comfortable around people, our feet tends to go towards their direction.
3)When someone is empathetic towards someone else, the feet points to them. If they aren't keen to the person, it will point towards the exit.

LEGS 1)Crossing your legs is usually a demonstration of comfort and trust since it breaks your sense of balance.
2)When we cross our legs towards someone it is a sign we trust and like this person the best.
3)Usually depressed people won't bounce their legs or feet because they are so overwhelmed by their emotions they can't "defy gravity", like they are carrying all the weight of the world on their back.
4)Our legs are usually used to defend us. When we are relaxed we spread them a little wider but if we feel tense it closes shut.

HIPS 1) we may lean our hips towards someone to welcome them, but if our feet aren't pointed to their direction, it shows it was just out of politeness.
2) Hip contact is used to demonstrate affection.
3)Hips can also sign discomfort towards what someone is hearing - If the person is agitated it can be one major indicator that the situation is bothering them.
4)Hands on hips with elbows sticking out is one way to demonstrate we have an issue with someone or something. If the legs are also slightly spread apart it shows a very territorial pose. It universally transmits power issues. If the thumbs are pointed to the back it indicates there is an issue here. If the thumbs are pointed forward it changes the impression and makes you look inquisitive rather than intrusive.
5)Thucking the thumbs into the pants or belt in an equivalent distance is a way of framing the genitals and showing sexual interest.

TORSO 1)It transmits how we present our health to the world, as well as our youth.
2)The torso is also called the human billboard because we can "decorate" it in many ways. It can also be an indicative of social status (i.e. imagine a polo shirt with a fancy logo)
3) Looking at the torso also can indicate who this person is, what kind of position they have in society, how their self esteem is etc...
***4)The way we treat our torsos shows how we perceive ourselves
5)When people can see our torsos they perceive us as being more honest. Hiding our torsos is a way of showing we are not approachable, whether it may be because we feel superior or uncomfortable.
6)Positioning our torsos towards someone is called ventral fronting. The extreme opposite, turning our back to someone is ventral denial.
7)Visible tattoos, specially on the torso, nowadays, are perceived negatively in areas in which a high degree of trust is necessary

SHOULDERS 1)When asked a question and only one shoulder comes next to the ear, it's probably less likely that the answer will be truthful. When both shoulders come next to the ear, it's seen as more credible. One explanation is that their limbic system is coherent.
2)The turtle effect, in which the shoulders come next to the ear and the head comes down, indicates that what is being said isn't that strong.

NECK 1)Touching our necks is a kind of pacifying reaction. We often see this in relation to a stressful event.
2)Covering part of your neck shows something negative bothered you. Not covering it when talking about something negative can indicate lying.
3)When we're very comfortable we tend to tilt our heads.
4)The head going from tilt to straight tends to show something went wrong.
5)Tilting our heads to everyone makes people uncomfortable because that's a sign of affection.

HANDS 1)When we like someone we tend to touch them with our full hands. When we don't care, we use only or fingertips.
2)Putting the index and the thumb together indicates precision
3) When we are stippling (putting or fingertips together but not palms, hands spread out) indicates we're very sure about what we're talking about.
4)When we like something, our thumbs tend to appear.
5)One of the ways of showing lack of confidence is hiding our thumbs.
6)Preening behaviors are often associated with good health and with respect; since we usually try to look good when someone matters to us.
7)Preening however can also be bad; doing so while the person speaks without acknowledging them is a sign of disrespect
8)it's also possible to pacify others with our hands, which is a way of pacifying ourselves. We can also achieve the same results by pacifying animals.
9)Handshakes are reflections of the society we grew up in. In some cultures, a strong handshake is important, in some others, a weak one is the social norm. There are some cultures in which you don't even do handshakes at all.
10)One interesting thing to do, is to mimic their handshake in order to create empathy.
11)One rude handshake however, is to use both your hands to cover their hand during the handshake. It's perceived very negatively. This is called the politician handshake. If you feel like you need more touch, then touch the shoulder or the elbow, but don't cover their hands. Also, make eye contact.

PALMS 1)Palms up can send a subtle message of weaknesses, like you're asking for a favor or begging to be believed. Palms down can mean we are very secure of our message and that we are sure about it.

ARMS 1)Putting our arms behind our back and holding our fingers is called the regal position and the message is: don't come near me. It happens because it's the opposite of putting our arms up and forward, which can mean we're trying to reach for someone or something.
2)Hugging ourselves our constantly needing coats when it's not particularly cold is a sign we're trying to protect ourselves.

POSTURE (how we stand) 1) One way of showing respect is adjusting to the pace of walking of those who they perceive to be superior. (I.e. no one walks in front of the Queen on England)
2) The way you stand also is going to impact a lot the credibility of your message.
***3)Criminals target individuals based on how they stand. They go after people who look weak and unaware of their surroundings.
4)The more we spread our legs and body the more territorial we look.

ANALYSING THE FACE

FOREHEAD 1)When we look at the forehead we can have a very accurate notion whether stress or comfort is present.

EYES 1)Covering the eyes is a blocking mechanism. When we hear something we don't like, we close our eyes for at least longer than a blink.
2)When the eyelids come down and remain low for a long period of time it can indicate avoidance and discomfort.
3)When we see something we like our pupils dilate. When we see something we don't like, our pupils constrict.
3)Arching eyebrows (lasts 1/10 of a second) is called the eyebrow flash and it can speed how relationships are established and increase empathy.
4)Eye aversion has more to do with social constructs than whether we're telling the truth or not. Sometimes people avoid looking eye to eye because they understand that as a sign of respect.

NOSE 1)When we are stressed the nose tends to get very dry, therefore more sensitive which can induce the person to touch their nose.
2)When we get excited about something or when we're going to do something physical, the wings of the nose dilate. This can also be a sign the person is going to run or attack us.

MOUTH 1) Social smiles move the corner of the mouth towards the ear but the eyes don't present the crow effect, they don't change, the eyes remain still.
2)When people hive their lips it's an indicator of deep discomfort
4)When the lips are full, relaxed and warm is a sign that there is comfort.
5)When we purse our lips it's a sign of disagreement
6)Yawning excessively is a possible sign that the person is under stress.
7) To exhale with puff cheeks is a sign of relief
8)When we're strong and confident our jaws come out. When we are weak and insecure we put our chins in.

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  • Global
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Jeanne
  • 13/05/2016

Helped me with my disabled daughter!!!!

I decided to purchase this book to help me with my disabled daughter. My daughter is severely disabled and her ability to communicate when she is in distress is limited. She has lots of conditions including autism and OCD which give her much distress. I was looking for any tools to help me recognize when she is first experiencing stress so maybe I could intervene before she goes into full blown mania. I was not disappointed! Mr. Navarro gave me some valuable tools to use in observing my daughter's behavior. The suggestions in the book have already helped me recognize early stress behaviors in my daughter.

This book also gave me tools which I am excited to start practicing when observing other people's behavior. This could be fun! ;-)

The narration of the book is in a slow, methodical speech pattern which may annoy some people. However, I found that this type of delivery helped me better process the weighty information.

Thank you, Mr. Navarro, for writing this book!!! I am about to listen to the book again.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Kindle Customer
  • 09/11/2015

Reread of What Everybody's Saying

Informative but needs a professional reader. Slowww and droll read. First book, What Everybody's Saying is much better.

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    1 out of 5 stars
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  • Kip
  • 10/04/2015

Same as his other book "What every body is saying"

Would you try another book from Joe Navarro and/or Joe Navarro?

This is my second book by Mr. Navarro because I enjoyed the first one I downloaded. There is no new information in this book. It is the exact same set of stories and examples in a format that is a bit more "raw" or unpolished than the other book. If he comes up with anything new I will check it out.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Huge disappointment it is the same as his other title just recorded by him.

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  • seana
  • 26/03/2015

A Must Read for Every Human

Terrific (& valuable) information!
The one (& only) problem I had with this audio book was the author's speed in narration...it was painfully slow (he should've used someone else). I adjusted the speed in my Audible app to 1.25 & it worked like a DREAM!
With the speed up to par I could actually concentrate on what the author was saying...& the information was AMAZING!
You will really come away from this with concrete knowledge on the "how's" & "why's" of all types of body language a person will use during a conversation!
I cannot believe I didn't know this stuff...& the meaning behind different gestures, twitches, motions, pauses (I could go on & on...there's SO much to learn) that people use EVERY DAY, ALL DAY!!!
What else can I say...? An amazing book!!!

23 sur 26 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.

  • Global
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • John b S
  • 05/03/2018

good info bad narration

Any additional comments?

this is the second book I read form Joe N, obviously I though enough about the author to read more. Listening to him read was painful I found myself having to back it up a lot because I missed his words due to hard to pay attention.. But if you can get past that and the little interludes they have in there from the CD recording format, its a good book. The first 20 min are especially nauseating, but after that its good info if you can stomach the reading. 2 times through is about all I needed to get the info nailed down.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Biren
  • 16/01/2015

worth listening

Namaste ji
one should listen or read once the book.
it been a good general information and experience.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • bea tea
  • 18/10/2015

good story, terrible narrator

Any additional comments?

overall content was very interesting, but i found it VERY very hard to listen to the guy reading the book. He sounds very arrogant and uninterested, like reading this book is a very difficult effort.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • lorenzo rodriguez
  • 07/02/2015

Life-changing book

I have been practicing what I learned from this book and it is amazing. This has been by far the best book on body language that I have came across. It was a little slow during the first chapter, but trust me it does get better. I highly recommend this book to everyone.

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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  • luke
  • 28/07/2019

information is good but awful reading

I live in Michigan, and we talk pretty fast so to listen at normal speed was unbearable, it doesn't become enjoyable till about 1.75 times the speed.

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  • Rainer Lagemann
  • 26/04/2018

Übertrifft alle Erwartungen - Hammer Buch

Am Anfang muss man sich ein klein - klein wenig an Joe als Sprecher gewöhnen. Entweder es gelang mir oder er wurde im Verlauf des Buches besser. Oder ich war einfach vom Inhalt gefesselt. So gut rübergebracht und mit Beispielen aus dem wahren / erfahrenen Leben untermauert. Hossa! Das Buch hat es in sich. Absolute Kaufempfehlung