When Control is an Illusion - Nobody Prepares You for this Part
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When Control is an Illusion - Nobody Prepares You for this Part
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From there, things get real.
Bill and Kevin dig into the part of parenting nobody warns you about—the moment you realize your kids don’t need your permission anymore. The diapers weren’t the hard part. Watching your kids become independent people is. Bill asks Kevin what it feels like knowing your kids are closer to leaving than arriving, and when supporting your child turns into knowing when to get out of the way. They explore the uncomfortable line between helping and projecting your own anxiety—especially when your kid is exceptional and the stakes feel high.
That conversation opens into something bigger: control, response, and the illusion that we ever really had either.
Kevin’s Patriots are improbably heading back to the Super Bowl, despite a season no one saw coming. Bill frames it as a case study in adaptability—brilliant at the basics, calm in chaos, no whining after a bad call, just adjustment. Winners don’t argue with reality. They respond to it. That idea carries into real life, parenting, and even setbacks—like Sam Darnold finding himself headed to the Super Bowl after bouncing through five teams, while others gave up when things felt unfair.
Bill shares lessons he gives his own son: knee-jerk reactions are usually the wrong ones—but how do you actually pause when impulse hits? How much of success is talent, and how much is response?
The episode takes a turn into winter survival, masculinity, and why shoveling snow shouldn’t count as a cardiac stress test. Bill wonders why men are so good at pushing through pain and so bad at listening to it—and what that teaches our kids. If we tell boys to speak up when something’s wrong, but model silence and suffering, what lesson are they really learning?
Layered throughout: reflections on gentle parenting, the difference between being kind and being nice, boundaries versus blow-ups, and how the way we were raised quietly shapes how we lead, parent, and react. Bill also circles back to recent episodes, including 250 Comments and Still Single and When Alcohol Becomes Permission, responding to a snarky comment that misses the point—and inviting listeners to decide for themselves.
Add in birthday shots, questionable song choices, hockey talk, and the reminder to stretch before you shovel, and you get an episode that’s funny, thoughtful, and sneakily profound.
Nobody prepares you for this part—but this conversation might help.
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