Episode 3: The Wheel of Consent & Erotic Integrity with Dr. Betty Martin
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In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie speaks with Dr. Betty Martin, creator of the Wheel of Consent and founder of the School of Consent, about what it truly means to practice consent with clarity, presence, and integrity.
Dr. Martin shares the origin of the Wheel of Consent and the Three Minute Game, offering a grounded framework for understanding desire, choice, and responsibility. Together, they explore the difference between consent and permission, why receiving can be more challenging than giving, and how learning who an interaction is for can transform sex, relationships, kink, tantra, and everyday life.
This episode is a foundational conversation for anyone wanting to relate more honestly to desire, boundaries, and embodied truth.
Episode Highlights
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The origin story of the Wheel of Consent
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The Three Minute Game and why it is more than a simple exercise
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Why consent and permission are not the same thing
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Learning to recognize who an interaction is actually for
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Why receiving can be harder than giving
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Asking for what you want as a vulnerable and essential skill
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Erotic integrity as telling the truth about desire
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Applications of the Wheel of Consent beyond sexuality, including business and social systems
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Why slowing down and tracking sensation creates depth and presence
About Dr. Betty Martin
Dr. Betty Martin has worked hands-on with people professionally for over 40 years. Her background includes 30 years as a chiropractor and practitioner of other body-based modalities, followed by 15 years as a somatic sex educator and surrogate partner therapist. Her work is also informed by Contact Improvisation and embodied play practices.
She is the developer of the Wheel of Consent, a groundbreaking model of receiving and giving that began with touch and now extends far beyond it into relationships, leadership, sexuality, and everyday life. Dr. Martin is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent.
Betty spent years traveling internationally teaching a five-day Wheel of Consent training for practitioners, later training others to teach the work so she could step back from full-time instruction. She now mentors helping professionals across many fields, including psychotherapists, sex workers, and hands-on practitioners of all kinds.
Links & Resources Mentioned-
School of Consent: https://www.schoolofconsent.org
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Free educational videos by Dr. Betty Martin
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The Art of Receiving and Giving by Dr. Betty Martin
Connect with Laurie Ellington
Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoachingWork with Laurie: Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.
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