Sophia Blackwell
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Sartre's No Exit
Bestsellers
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Notes from Underground (And Other Places Russians Suffer)
- Your Survival Guide to Dostoevsky (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Anne Blackwell
- Narrated by: K. D. Bamon
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 min
- Unabridged
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You were told Dostoevsky would change your life. Nobody mentioned it would change it for the worse.
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Notes from Underground (And Other Places Russians Suffer)
- Your Survival Guide to Dostoevsky (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: K. D. Bamon
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 min
- Release date: 08/03/2026
- Language: English
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€11.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Plato's Cave: Philosophy's First Reality Show
- Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 5
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 40 min
- Unabridged
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Ever wondered why a rich Athenian who died 2,400 years ago still dominates Western thought? Or why your professor keeps talking about invisible triangles and prisoners staring at shadows? "Plato's Cave: Philosophy's First Reality Show" is the hilarious guide to Plato you never knew you needed.
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Plato's Cave: Philosophy's First Reality Show
- Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 5
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 40 min
- Release date: 16/04/2025
- Language: English
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Derrida's Deconstruction
- Tearing Texts Apart Because He Had Nothing Better to Do (Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 2)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 min
- Unabridged
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Ever wanted to sound unbearably pretentious at dinner parties? Wondered how one French philosopher managed to make an entire career out of writing sentences no human being could understand?
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Derrida's Deconstruction
- Tearing Texts Apart Because He Had Nothing Better to Do (Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 2)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 min
- Release date: 16/04/2025
- Language: English
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€12.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Hegel's Dialectic
- Making Simple Ideas Complicated Since 1807 (Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 1)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 14 min
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of pretending to understand Hegel? Do you feel personally attacked by German idealism? Have you ever wondered if “sublation” is just a fancy word for “I have no idea what I’m saying”? Congratulations. You’ve found your people.
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Hegel's Dialectic
- Making Simple Ideas Complicated Since 1807 (Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 1)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 14 min
- Release date: 15/04/2025
- Language: English
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From Bad to Worse
- How Structuralism and Post-Structuralism Ruined Everything (Including This Book) (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 44 min
- Unabridged
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Finally, an academic roast that's more entertaining than a faculty meeting where someone brought donuts! "From Bad to Worse" mercilessly skewers the most pretentious philosophical movements of the 20th century with savage wit and zero academic mercy. Journey through the incomprehensible world of...
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From Bad to Worse
- How Structuralism and Post-Structuralism Ruined Everything (Including This Book) (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 44 min
- Release date: 09/06/2025
- Language: English
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Atlas Struggled
- Ayn Rand's Selfish Delusions and the Cult of Mediocre White Men (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 min
- Unabridged
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In "Atlas Struggled," Sophia Blackwell delivers a hilarious and scathing takedown of Ayn Rand, the failed screenwriter who somehow convinced generations of insecure men that being selfish isn't just acceptable—it's the highest moral virtue.
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Atlas Struggled
- Ayn Rand's Selfish Delusions and the Cult of Mediocre White Men (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 min
- Release date: 09/06/2025
- Language: English
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€9.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Prison Philosophy
- How a Rich Roman Named Boethius Got Locked Up and Accidentally Invented Self-Help (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 2 hrs and 9 min
- Unabridged
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Before there was "Chicken Soup for the Soul" or "The Secret," there was a condemned Roman aristocrat writing philosophy by candlelight while awaiting execution.
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Prison Philosophy
- How a Rich Roman Named Boethius Got Locked Up and Accidentally Invented Self-Help (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 2 hrs and 9 min
- Release date: 09/06/2025
- Language: English
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€9.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Nothing Means Anything (And That's, Like, Profound)
- A Guide to Postmodernism (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 29 min
- Unabridged
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Finally, a philosophy book that doesn't take itself as seriously as the theorists it eviscerates! Nothing Means Anything mercilessly skewers postmodernism's most pretentious thinkers with savage wit and zero academic mercy.
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Nothing Means Anything (And That's, Like, Profound)
- A Guide to Postmodernism (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 29 min
- Release date: 08/05/2025
- Language: English
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€10.45 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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What the Hell: How Wittgenstein Made Philosophy Even More Confusing While Claiming to Solve Everything
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 34 min
- Unabridged
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What the Hell tears into Ludwig Wittgenstein—history's most insufferable genius—with savage wit and zero academic pretension.
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What the Hell: How Wittgenstein Made Philosophy Even More Confusing While Claiming to Solve Everything
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 34 min
- Release date: 06/05/2025
- Language: English
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Noble Savage, Deadbeat Dad
- How Rousseau Invented Modern Society While Failing at Basic Human Decency (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 7 min
- Unabridged
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In this mercilessly funny takedown, Jean-Jacques Rousseau—history's most insufferable philosopher—gets the roasting he so richly deserves.
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Noble Savage, Deadbeat Dad
- How Rousseau Invented Modern Society While Failing at Basic Human Decency (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 7 min
- Release date: 06/05/2025
- Language: English
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Leibniz’s Monads: Because Particles with Feelings Totally Make Sense
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 11 min
- Unabridged
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In Leibniz’s Monads: Because Particles with Feelings Totally Make Sense, Sophia Blackwell (author of Kant You Not) returns with another brutally honest, laugh-out-loud, actually-informative tour through one of philosophy’s weirdest, most ambitious systems.
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Leibniz’s Monads: Because Particles with Feelings Totally Make Sense
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 11 min
- Release date: 05/05/2025
- Language: English
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I Think I Own That
- John Locke’s Guide to Justifying Land Theft with Polite Language (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 57 min
- Unabridged
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John Locke: Enlightenment philosopher, father of liberalism, inventor of “natural rights,” and accidental spiritual patron of land developers, libertarians, and your uncle who won’t shut up about property taxes.
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I Think I Own That
- John Locke’s Guide to Justifying Land Theft with Polite Language (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 57 min
- Release date: 05/05/2025
- Language: English
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€5.89 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Why Did That Happen?: Aristotle Has Four Answers and None of Them Are Helpful
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 13 min
- Unabridged
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Why Did That Happen? Aristotle Has Four Answers and None of Them Are Helpful is your brutally sarcastic, surprisingly educational crash course in Aristotelian philosophy.
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Why Did That Happen?: Aristotle Has Four Answers and None of Them Are Helpful
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 13 min
- Release date: 02/05/2025
- Language: English
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No Self, No God, No Clue: David Hume and the Joy of Destroying Everything
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 3 min
- Unabridged
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No Self, No God, No Clue: David Hume and the Joy of Destroying Everything is your ruthlessly sarcastic crash course in the philosophy of David Hume—history’s most cheerful intellectual arsonist.
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No Self, No God, No Clue: David Hume and the Joy of Destroying Everything
- Cogito Ergo Nope
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 3 min
- Release date: 02/05/2025
- Language: English
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Lacan Sucks and So Do You
- A Friendly Guide to Language, Desire, and Political Helplessness (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 51 min
- Unabridged
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What if your political identity, your core beliefs, and even your taste in snack food weren’t really yours? What if they were built out of language, hijacked by desire, and quietly manipulated by slogans, myths, and a Symbolic Order you didn’t ask to be born into?
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Lacan Sucks and So Do You
- A Friendly Guide to Language, Desire, and Political Helplessness (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 51 min
- Release date: 01/05/2025
- Language: English
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€6.03 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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I Think, Therefore I’m Wrong
- Descartes and the Birth of Overconfidence
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 53 min
- Unabridged
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I Think, Therefore I’m Wrong: Descartes and the Birth of Overconfidence is your gloriously sarcastic, brutally honest, and deeply unhinged guide to the man who launched modern philosophy with one anxious thought spiral and never looked back.
Sample -
I Think, Therefore I’m Wrong
- Descartes and the Birth of Overconfidence
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 53 min
- Release date: 01/05/2025
- Language: English
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€6.03 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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The Sickness Unto Death, and Other Fun Danish Party Games
- Kierkegaard Without the Prozac (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 20 min
- Unabridged
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The Sickness Unto Death, and Other Fun Danish Party Games: Kierkegaard Without the Prozac is your gloriously sarcastic, brutally insightful, and occasionally soul-crushing guide to philosophy’s original sadboy, Søren Kierkegaard.
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The Sickness Unto Death, and Other Fun Danish Party Games
- Kierkegaard Without the Prozac (Cogito Ergo Nope)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 20 min
- Release date: 29/04/2025
- Language: English
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€7.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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God Is in the Details (And So Is Thomas Aquinas)
- How to Weaponize Aristotle for the Church and Still Be Canonized
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 6 min
- Unabridged
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Ever wanted to read 3,000 pages of systematic theology written by a man who thought angel transportation was a valid academic subject? No? Great—this audiobook is for you.
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God Is in the Details (And So Is Thomas Aquinas)
- How to Weaponize Aristotle for the Church and Still Be Canonized
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 6 min
- Release date: 29/04/2025
- Language: English
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God or Nature, Whatever
- Spinoza's Guide to Getting Excommunicated from Every Religion Simultaneously
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 20 min
- Unabridged
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God or Nature, Whatever is what happens when a philosophy grad student decides to explain Baruch Spinoza—the 17th-century lens grinder who got canceled by every major religion—using sarcasm, swearing, and a deeply unhealthy relationship with Euclidean geometry.
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God or Nature, Whatever
- Spinoza's Guide to Getting Excommunicated from Every Religion Simultaneously
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 20 min
- Release date: 21/04/2025
- Language: English
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€8.91 or free with trial. Auto-renews at €5.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Kant You Not
- A Categorical Imperative to Stay Awake (Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 4)
- By: Sophia Blackwell
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 45 min
- Unabridged
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Ever tried reading Kant and felt your brain melt into a puddle of transcendental confusion? You're not alone! "Kant You Not" is the hilarious antidote to philosophical pretension that explains Immanuel Kant's revolutionary ideas without inducing narcolepsy.
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Kant You Not
- A Categorical Imperative to Stay Awake (Cogito Ergo Nope, Book 4)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Cogito Ergo Nope
- Length: 1 hr and 45 min
- Release date: 18/04/2025
- Language: English
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