Results narrated by "Dane Petersen" in All categories

Imagine sitting next to a gentleman on a commuter train, or at a dinner party, or neighborhood bar, and learning that not only has he never taken his wife on a Valentine's Day date, but that his wife has been the one taking him on each and every Valentine's Day date over their almost 50 years of marriage! Wit Cicerone categorizes the dates by general theme and describes what made them dates to remember.

He was trapped on a planet of deadly dinosaurs that made Jurassic Park seem like a kid's playground! For one thing, they were smarter than the average dinosaur! The Marshall Museum sent Gene Bishop on a simple mission to the distant world of Erigon to collect dinosaur eggs for the museum’s spectacular DinoWorld park - a scrupulous recreation of the Mesozoic Era on Earth. Bishop figured it as a quick in and out - swoop down, grab some eggs and be gone. But he figured wrong.

Think only cartoon animals can talk? So did sixth grade whiz kid Jonah Mortimer...until one did! This little birdy has come to warn Jonah of an ancient evil - long buried and forgotten - that has laid quiet under Falter’s Rise...until now! The corrupt pharaoh, Septra’Kaal, has risen from his grave, and his mummified army marches on Wolverton! Astride a giant scorpion, Septra’Kaal is a force the likes of which Masterminds Incorporated has never seen. What will Jonah and the rest of Masterminds do when this monstrosity unleashes its plagues on Wolverton?

Do you enjoy comedy? Do you know what "more cowbell" means? Infused with the crack-up-worthy spirit of Will Ferrell's classic SNL skit, these hilarious short stories transform even the most mundane events into meme-worthy moments. Everything's better with more cowbell. TV and radio personality R. Scott Murphy is a pro at finding "the funny" in everyday life.

This fun new humor book celebrates Seinfeld's 30th anniversary and takes love of the sitcom to a new level. Best-selling humor author R. Scott Murphy believes Seinfeld is far more than a TV show; it's a state of mind. In fact, he's watched all 180 episodes so many times that he often sees the world through Seinfeld's eyes. The place where his Seinfeld eyes see the craziest things is the grocery store.

Corrag and Ben, the brave-yet-doomed lovers of The Victor’s Heritage, are reunited. But now, humanity faces a crisis - the last of the free-brained, creative folk have risen against the enslaved people of the Augment and their elite Republican Homeland overlords. It is 2072, and falling creative information flows in the Augment system mean there is little time to reach full power status and launch the planetary cover before the incoming Oort Cloud asteroids destroy civilization.

Russell Horvath seems to have it all, a beautiful supportive girlfriend committed to helping him shed those pesky extra pounds, a screenwriting career poised to take off spearheaded by his best friend and agent, except for the fact that his girlfriend's advice is sounding more and more like a never ending onslaught of criticisms and passive aggressive cut-downs and his agent is less a friend and more a frenemy...if that's even a real word....

On May 20th, 1927, a momentous event occurred in aviation history. A young, brave man attempted to fly a dangerous flight that would break all known records at that time. If he succeeded, he would become world famous and a legend...that man was Charles Ginsberg. Instead, he flew four zany entertainers from New York to Burbank...or so he tried.

Being the new kid in school, Jesse Beamish’s first day at Lawrence Stewart Talbot Middle School is already a bummer. But, finding his next class and avoiding school bullies quickly becomes the least of his worries as unusual things start to happen. There’s something different about Wolverton. Something...hiding in the shadows. Jesse soon discovers that vampires...are real! One of them is prowling the town under the cover of night, and he’s sure the vampire is coming for him next!

Nowhere is as dangerous as the Wildwood. Enormous insects inhabit the forest, happy to devour any humans that step foot within. As long as humans stay out of the forest, they are safe.

Eighteen-year-old soccer prodigy Davis Day had the world at his feet: a college future, a loyal team, and dreams of playing professionally. All it took was one lie to rip it all away. Branded a criminal before he can defend himself, Davis watches his name, his friendships, and his future collapse. Pressured into a plea deal he never should have taken, he’s trapped in a nightmare where the truth doesn’t matter — and every day feels like another nail driven through the life he once knew.