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Kelley Jo Burke embarks on a wild journey to understand many things, including the part where her grandfather sort of murdered her grandmother. Returning to a house filled with her first memories of childhood, she begins to explore the complex origins of her own anxiety. Along the way, she reflects on alienation and immigration, mental health and generational trauma, and the nature of memory itself. A memoir filled with raw honesty, comedy, tragedy, and grace.

Six months ago, I escaped from a monster in the dead of night, our five-year-old daughter asleep in my arms. Desperate and rapidly running out of cash, my luck finally turns when I land a bartending job at a swanky Los Angeles nightclub. The owner is difficult, moody, and relentless in his crusade for perfection. But it’s not hard work that scares me. It’s the burgeoning swell of desire that consumes me every time our eyes meet across the crowded dance floor. But if I’m damaged, he’s wrecked. The truth is, we can’t run from our pasts.